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Love putting my Peloton bike in the most striking area of my ultra-modern $3 million house
3,251 replies and sub-replies as of Jan 29 2019

I had my carpenter build a $9,000 finished wood riser for my Peloton bike in my glass-enclosed zen garden/home gym
I put my Peloton bike in the center of the panoramic living room window in my New York penthouse
When we visited my parents for Christmas I had to put my Peloton bike right in the living room, they didn’t have a home gym or a conservatory or anything ugh
A good place for your Peloton bike is between your kitchen and your living room facing the cactus garden so you always remember virtual spin class
I took my Peloton bike to Europe and used it on the balcony of our $2,000/night Airbnb and honestly I felt like I was flying over London, you should try it
I have a Peloton at home, at work, and also one placed by the ocean-facing living room windows of our four bedroom beach cottage
Probably the worst thing about putting a Peloton bike in my spotless huge kitchen is when my dumb kid interrupts the workout. Where is Consuela? She has one job!
Sometimes I’ll move the Peloton bike into our gallery so I can spend time with my half gay husband while he reads Architectural Digest wearing combat boots
My bright and airy sunroom is a great place for the Peloton bike. I leave the arcadia door ajar so I feel like I’m actually riding a bicycle...outside!
My Peloton is in the living room because it’s my favorite work of art aside from the turquoise marble peacock I keep in the fireplace.
The picture windows at our chalet provide breathtaking views from the Peloton bike. In the living room set behind it, all you can see is the Peloton bike.
Sometimes I let the nanny ride my Peloton. But the solarium is my space, so she only can ride in the garage and only when she’s disciplining my children.
Last year we painstakingly remodeled a midcentury modern house in the hills, including furniture from the period. Then I put my Peloton bike right in the middle of the living room.
This is absolutely unacceptable Peloton placement. This appears to be a basement and not a solarium, conservatory, grotto, inglenook, or rumpus room.
In the mornings, after my housekeeper meticulously makes my bed, I like to ride my Peloton bike in the window of my high rise and literally look down my nose at people.
You might ask why the windows in front of these Pelotons are so small. Unfortunately space on the yacht is limited and the gym is near the waterline. We manage.
Some people tell me that I should put my living room here because of the amazing view. I have to question their priorities. Who on earth spends more time on their couch than on their Peloton bike?
My husband says it’s a fire hazard to have the Peloton bike blocking the doors from the living room to the veranda. He doesn’t understand that the Peloton bike will be the first thing I save.
I put the Peloton bike in the kitchen of our loft so I can get a workout and also cook the vegan three-bean tortilla soup recipe I downloaded from Goop.
Ironic that “Peloton” means a group of cyclists when my favorite way to cycle is alone in the guest house living room at our Brentwood mansion.
Our architect suggested a Peloton nook for our pied-à-terre. They do not belong in nooks. They belong where an observatory would be, if you didn’t own a Peloton. We fired him.
you started this last night and when I RTed this morning it somehow only had ~800 RTs so I'm claiming ground-floor status on this one
I've gained 4k followers so the exodus this next week or so will be hilarious
I am in awe of how fast it is rising, I feel like we need a chart of how many followers you lose after each tweet this week.
the funny thing is, old school followers of yours know this 100% what's happened in Casa Heywood.
god your mentions must be just fucking awful and full of "jokes"
I was about to ask how many followers this got you and how many you were going to lose when they realize this is an AZ dive bar account
Almost five thousand today. I may never gain another follower.
You can never stop. Pandora's box has already been opened and there was a Peloton bike inside beside the Japanese zen garden.
I've seen a wide variety of accounts I follow retweeting this today too. Truly an eclectic mix. And you made it trending for the US! Congrats. Is this your most viral post so far?
No I had one earlier this month about gender reveals that I had to delete because it was getting ridiculous and I don’t have a SoundCloud
As one of those new followers, please please repost the gender reveal one. 😀
You’re wrong! I just followed you. Not a verified account though...sorry!
gained me🙋🏼‍♀️
Just blast out some 2am Twitter haiku from JTs. That will clear the decks
Make that 4K plus one
What kind of peasant puts their peloton or status on the ground floor? Lol. Jk 😂
dying😂🤣 read these pelotweets
Nowadays, Frank Lloyd Wright would’ve designed exclusively for a Peloton loving clientele.
Way to rack up the followers!Yera JEENYUS!
If you’re not already a comedy writer, congratulations on the new job(s) offered to you. #comedygold
Lol, I thought these were tweets by @jack I could honestly believe that.
I have a 10-speed in my garage. Does that count?
Sincerely glad that someone's taken the time to take the piss out of these ridiculous adverts
Ha! Says a lot about the gap between the Peloton-class and the middle-class.
Funniest thing I’ve read today.
Really glad to confirm that I'm too poor for a Peloton. I'll just keep eating frozen burritos while hanging clothes on my elliptical.
An elliptical is trash, it's a notch below the pathetic "total body gym"
I hope they send you a Peloton
Best. Feed. Ever.
I put Schwinn stickers on my Peloton because I don’t want anyone knowing I have that kind of money!
Why did I read all of these?! 😂 for a good laugh.
I am literally the demographic that Peloton is marketing to and my first thought on seeing their commercial was this is elitist crap.
You are wealthy and live in a beautiful setting but never go outside?
I keep my Peloton out in the barn as several of the cows have started working out between milkings. Milk production has climbed as they become contented from the exercise.
This is genius. Thank you for a great Monday laugh.
Clearly Frank Lloyd Wright had no idea the proper layout of his home.
Those could all be roller shutter doors
😂 Okay, I'm here for architectural suggestions. Bring it, tweeps.
Genius. And this gets you a follow 😊
Anyone else having trouble balancing their Peloton on a hammock between two endangered Pennantia Baylisiana trees? I sometimes worry my wife will fall onto our Rodin sculpture garden below.
Is this account solely about your so highly affordable everyone's got one peloton bike?
It is now. It used to mostly be about sports and dive bars
Dude I'm following! Lmao
I like to keep mine in pristine condition, in its natural environs, surrounded by nameless, faceless cutouts of people wearing sexy gear. Also, it's classy to have a few lying about, in case friends drop by.
You've performed a heroic public service.
6 ft 9 inch Peleton room? Nice.
entire thread is hysterical
This is hilarious
That was worth every minute of my life it took to read. Officially ☠
OMG 😂🤣😂🤣 How about a Peloton pace line.
This thread is genius! Thank you
I'm guessing when you discovered one in your garage with your name on it, an obvious Christmas present, that you would wake up at 2:30 a.m. to sneak out every night and ride it?
Well played!
Epic thread.... 🧵 👍🏻 #WellPlayed
Yeah, clearly a better architect would've fired themselves. #sorry
whatever this thread is it will be a touchstone for future anthropologists
I would spend up to three (3) hours per day reading these.
Lol, I just bought a Peloton work out shirt and let people’s imaginations run wild about where I live!
All this moving around should have gotten a real bike :)
- follow the peloton threads from @ClueHeywood 😂
My 1998 Schwinn Peloton free to hang out with his girlfriend at the water front.
Rather than spend $ 238 million on a New York Condo I spent $239 million so I could fit my Peloton in properly.
This thread made my day! Who wouldn’t make their Peloton the focal point of any room?
OMG, these type of tweets are why I originally joined Twitter. I stayed for the politics. If not for Trump, I believe our Twitter feeds would be filled with more just like this. Just one more thing Trump ruined for us.
And cats. Lots more cats. In fact, if trump hadn't ruined it, cats would've taken over Twitter by now. I don't mean their pictures and videos...they would actually be in charge.
You mean they're not already in charge?
😂😂 We always said my eldest boy (avi) would be downright dangerous if he ever managed to procure opposable thumbs. And then one day, he destroyed a laptop by spilling a full mug of hot cocoa on the keyboard. I think he didn't like the screensaver.
That's great! So focused. 😹 I had one who was absolutely fascinated by helicopters on tv. Would sit and stare at them, in news reports or in movies, and as soon as it was gone, he was too. My current three seem to have no interest in such frivolities.
I have a limited edition 1987 Peloton for sale if anyone is interested.
"They do not belong in nooks " 🤣🤣🤣
These suggestions are so bourgeois–none of the riders have airpods.
I have a young billionaire social media magnate friend who hand-carried his Peloton across a rice paddy over a bridge made of the dead bodies of massacred Rohingya so that he could spend a week cycling and meditating at a swanky rural Buddhist temple.
This thread made my day.
Do you sleep with your peloton bike?
If you had a Peloton, you would have an "observatory", a "solarium" and maybe a "kitchen", but if you don't have a "Pelotorium", you should move.
one question though - why are only the ultra fit triathlete looking women's riding? None of those models have given birth
Thank you for saving me $3000!
You do realize that the REAL Peloton enthusiast moves their Peloton to their alcoves for better acoustics right? Do you even #Peloton bro?
This is good. Very good. I imagine I would put our Peloton in front of the window of our fitness room overlooking the back garden and creek, below.
I don't know. Might not be enough natural light
Quite possibly the greatest thread in the history of twitter.
I want you to know I read every single one and now I just feel like buying a Peloton bike as an art piece
Only the best view for the Peloton
As a Peloton®️ owner, I can tell they are merely upper middle class based on their usage of imperial and not metric. How proletariat. 🙄
This is stupid.
The post, not the ad.
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Unhappy hipsters.
Share the Peloton
I'm dying here. 🤣😂🤣
Bravo, just when I thought memes were going to down the drain, a meme angel among us has arisen. And also, I think the best place to have the bike is sitting dead center in a gym, where they bought it and placed it for me.
No peloton but I do have K9 conditioning equipment and a 1970 Schwinn Cotton Picker stratigraphy placed in the living room.
I ride my Peloton while wearing my Bugle Boy jeans.
This thread is brilliant. Tweets of the day without a doubt.
With my New Year’s fitness resolution behind me, I use my Peloton as a hanger for my wardrobe of bespoke tailored suits.
Thanks for the laughs! Very much needed today. Pure greatness
Not sure what Peloton did to deserve your wrath, but I sure am enjoying it!
I hadn't even realized this went viral when I sent this. HA. Well done, dude. Come for the Peloton content, stay for the dive bars and Coors Light.
You appear to be an expert. Can you tell me if a Peloton bike will look good in my panic room? It's more cramped than than your yacht - though better appointed.
You should have one in there, you never know how long you have to wait for the all clear
You are hilarious. I think I love you!
Be careful though -too much might cause dehydration and I don’t know if there’s enough room in your panic room for all the Swell bottles you’re going to need.
😂😂😂😂 This thread made my day
It also means “big balls” in Spanish 😜
It means "fearless" in Finnish. I guess they can have both 😆
Really. All the prices included. 🙄🙄🙄🙄...
I laughed outloud at each of these. Love it. One of the funniest things I’ve seen on twitter.
I mean it IS Brentwood afterall 💁🏻‍♀️
Haha excellent thread
I love this brand because in Spanish, peloton means "guy with big balls".
Did you buy it from OJ ? The mansion...not the peloton.
OJ might not have done it if he had had a Peloton. The energy it releases is real mind soothing and places one in a spiritual place.
OJ should have been driving a Ford Escape instead of a Bronco.
Is there a clothes hanging feature on the handle bars? My recumbent bike was inadequate in that regard. I do not have a Consuela I’m afraid.
Thing is, if you can afford a Peloton bike, you probably have a house just like one of these.
That Peloton looks like those exercise bikes you see at every yard sale!
Do you think Lindsay Graham has one in his closet
Bruh why aren’t you tagging them this is amazing
How much does a good mid-teir Peloton cost?
if you have to ask...
Checking Craigslist for a used Peloton right now.
Oh man, I don't even own a Peloton, just some ordinary stationary bike from Amazon next to all my son's toys and an old couch. What should I do to fix this embarrassing problem?
Great thread
Why are there no clothes hanging off of it in your reality? There r in mine!
The mine field of toys meant to maim me on a daily basis already screams “This dude is a professional athlete” enough as it is. We don’t always need the icing on the cake.
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You make me want one now, but only if I’m going to have all the adventures like you lol
Thank you for ALL of this!
Honestly I thought you were wealthy until I saw not once trace of an AirPod... disgust
These are so true!!! I always see a Peloton van when I cut through the swanky neighborhoods. The VC money being poured into this must be insane.
You are the hero I’ve been waiting for 🙌🏻🙌🏻
21 references to peloton, and I still don’t know how to pronounce it.
best twitter thread
Lame... mine didn’t come with a penthouse view #reality #nottheirdemographic
No commercial for you.
ok, 1) This was super funny. 2) There will be offendeds. 3)Can I see how you travel with it on top of your G-Class?😂😂😂
Brilliant takedown.
Help! I need tips on getting my Peloton on to my helicopter so I can cycle while I overlook the “non- Peloton owners” as I make my way to my summer home in the Hamptons. Tips?
Not even the leader of the cyclists, but part of the big group.
Not the same without the view. Goddam you Peloton.
Can’t believe those idiots aren’t marketing a $3000 indoor cycling bike to middle class America
Life comes at your fast. One minute you are driven to twitter exile for just trying to solve murders, the next you are an international twitter sensation!
It’s a beautiful ride
I use my Peloton bikes as door stoppers at every last one of my homes, yachts,penthouses, and island cottages because I get enough exercise stepping on the throats of contractors I hire, my employees, my customers,and the rest of the little people I despise. What’s in YOUR wallet
You have a ton of Peleton bikes.
I prefer the bike bus for mine.
Perfect for the anti-social group bicyclist.
where’s yours? 😂
Fitness cycling is best with a group of competitive friends, each riding a Peloton fitness cycle! Really!
With all this talk about walls lately, you've inspired me. What if we build a electrified fence and rig it to generators powered by our Peloton bikes? That way each and every mansion owning American can give back in their own very small way?
Thank you for this tweet. Their commercials are the worst
This is the phoniness of America. Poor schmucks coming in the caravan thinks this is the American lifestyle.
You are slaying. As an avid (outdoors! On roads!) cyclist, you can only imagine my cackle-laughs at each brilliant post here.
I just drooled seeing that bike.
Darrin Stephens of McMann & Tate worked hard on that Peloton campaign dammit!
Thanks for the guffaws! Sometimes, I type LOL & don't really mean it, but I truly LOL'd at ur Peloton series.
This is my favorite 😆
Like where all the trailer park peloton’s at??!! Lol
I was very close to exercising outside today but my @onepeloton called to me from the study and asked me to stay reclusive.
They’re all very clever. Thanks!
Never knew i needed to mute Peloton Bike.
I'm almost done ok
It’s not ok. Stay indoors, i see what patios do to you.
This may be his finest work, other than the 68 Coors Lights
The resemblance to my own life and homes is uncanny.
Yer ona roll!!!
Incredible! So you don't care if I put the Peloton where the coffee table is in the living room! Alternatively, I could move the kitchen table to the hallway and post up there too. Whatever you think.
Never leave the table when you’re on a heater
Says the guy who leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair.....
Is there a local Peloton riders club in my area?How would I get in touch with them?
They’re going to reach out to you now and give you a free Peloton. Prepare thyself. 😬
Absolutely amazing thread. 🤣
Thanks for the laugh.
I didn’t see a single one being used as a clothes rack. You are so out of touch! ;)
Three bean tortilla soup with Pelaton? You will become immortal.
This thread is 🔥
Where I keep my Peloton bike
It's NOT a "bike," you barbarian! 😏
So true And if anyone was serious about using these bikes they would get the fit right The ones in the pics are set up to go 5 mins to the shops
“soup recipe I downloaded from Goop”. Someday that kid of hers is gonna slit her throat for a bag of Doritos and a Hot Pocket.....
Thank you for your service
This is so unrealistic. There is no space for a cool down with a glass of merlot.
😂😂😂😂 WELL DONE. 👏👏
This Peloton thread is hilarious. I’m going to install one at the top of my converted Alaska lighthouse so I can watch for Russian Submarines while I workout.😋
'veganism is elitist meme'
and get your home and auto bundle from @progressiveinsu
Cracking up 😂 😂
That’s so nice of you to lend your peloton out to all these people.
Griswold neighbors?
feeling so Gwyneth today!
Lol but I would gladly take one in my nice average house. 😍
But is it gluten, dairy and soy free and the beans grown locally?
I put mine in the back of my pickup truck and have Jeeves drive me around the grounds.
😂😂😂 love it
Oh My God....Goop...make me gag....LOL !
Do you cook while riding?
I just snort laughed my way thru this thread. Bravo.
Ooooh. That looks like a decent recipe!
Did you steam your Vage First?
So sad! Is the au pair is on holiday?
A friend sent these to me and I'm crying. Thank you @ClueHeywood. You are saving our souls with your #Peloton roasts.
Amazing man! Great work!
Omg this is the best 😂😂😂
Do you have an on staff Peloton sweat remover or, do you do it yourself?
Awesome tweets bro!!!! That shitz priceless.
Hilarious. I'm literally crying reading these tweets
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great account.
LOL! hey I kinda want that life too!
I attached wheels and an electric motor to my peloton with hydrogen backup motor so I can multi task overachieving like a true winner
My morning spin on my Peloton is all the motivation my neighbors need to get up and out in the morning.
thank you for your service
Mine is next to windows so I can make my neighbors feel bad about being lazy.
Absolutely brilliant thread
Ditto...thanks for retweeting this gem Smug.
I don't think you can top this thread. God-damned hilarious.
Congrats Clue! Yer trending!
But, the ponytail!
Yeah this was absolutely a thing during the California wildfires and Hurricane Michael in the Carolinas.
This is everything.
This is the exact reason why Twitter sucks... who cares, why is this trending and how is it news worthy? Get your stuff together Twitter...
Haha if i could afford a peloton I’d put it on the roof of my new electric Tesla and ride it around town w the music blasting at 5am to let everyone that “I’ve arrived”
Would you hook it up to the battery for clean energy?
The battery runs off her self important chi
We don't give a shit about your overpriced bicycle!
You’re killing me!! 😂
Decided to place my peloton where my designer wardrobe is at.
Perhaps he understands COMPLETELY
My favorite, pretty sure I agree
You are hysterical!
Wow, I have these doors in my house!
I don't know if at 40 years old.....I've ever agreed with anything more than this thread....
If you want the real Peleton experience, you need to rent a flatbed truck (at least 24') and work out outdoors. Put the Peloton on the back of the truck. The wind in your hair, the minions at a safe distance. Plus, if things get weird, you can just ask the driver to step on it.
You forgot to mention... *wig and extensions not incl..
Nothing like having a floor to ceiling window with an amazing view over the city but staring at an iPad-sized image of an isolated desert road while you exercise.
Ashamed to post this...go easy on me
Blocked and reported to @onepeloton
No please, my summer villa is still under construction
You could have easily found a suitably picturesque space on your yacht, or private jet, or winter chalet. No excuse for laziness. Tell your staff to do better.
I laughed so hard at every single one of these.
Why bother putting a TV screen on the thing when you put it infront of an amazing view?
Personally I hate cluttering my beautiful home with my Peleton, which is why I had to sell my apartment and buy a home with a 2 car garage, just to have enough room for our his and her peletons
you put your Peleton in a GARAGE?
I prefer to think of it as my peleton sanctuary. The previous family did use it for cars. I just street park my jag.
oh my god yes. This is it: when one has surpassed the ethereal peloton to be enshrouded with the gold aura emanating from the fabled Yellow Jersey of Wellness
Skyline wasn’t cutting it - I opt for the dusty road between Mesquite Nevada and St George Utah every day of the week.
i do believe this would be the peloton room... the living room is downstairs?
You can tell that commercial targets women. If it were targeted at guys, the Peloton in all of those pictures would be facing a 72"+ flat screen TV with Dolby Surroundsound speaker system blasting basketball. And there would be 2 cup holders w/ craft beers in each.
How long per day do you spend on it? Nice looking bike BTW.
Pretty sure they tortured Morpheus in that room.
The only time I’d buy @onepeloton is if I’ve☝️ this view.
You had me at Peloton 👏
is there no thread on the special shoes you need to buy for these pelotons
Losers. That’s who.
That fence seems a lil low
what is this pleb bike and why isn’t it even a Cervello C5? what a fred, honestly
Finishing the sentence for you... Who on earth spends more time on their couch than on their Peloton bike when they can have an immense view they don’t use blocked by the big horkin’ TV which obstructs said view anyway?
What do I do with company? Who can't ride and talk at the same time?
And yet, they are all focused on the damn screen, view and risers not needed.
Dan Snyder had a yacht built around his Peloton.
Priceless thread on #Peloton cycles... LOL thanks @ClueHeywood
You might ask why the windows in front of these Pelotons are so small. Unfortunately space on the yacht is limited and the gym is near the waterline. We manage.
Thoughts and prayers 🙄🤣
Sounds like you are really roughing it. Time for a new Yacht?
This one is my favorite. 😂
Thoughts and Prayers
This is my favorite - didn’t see where it was going based on the picture. 😂😂😂😂
We manage 😂😂😂😂
My favorite so far!
First world problems. 😂
This one made me laugh hard
I’m loving this #peloton thread. There’s a @onepeloton shop opposite my office in Marylebone High Street and it always seems empty?
You didn’t say we would be looking at poor peoples peleton setups in this thread.
Hilarious 😂 😂😂
Fuck you peloton! Ahahahaha.
My husband’s Peleton may be in the basement by small window, but we do have an authentic McDonald’s Hamburglar to keep it safe and inspire him to pedal faster.
You only have 2 Peletons on your yacht? Hang in there buddy, I'm sure things will turn around for you soon.
You are hilarious!! Made my day🌝
😂 we manage
Best one...because very unexpected 😂
I identify with the people in Peloton commercials because I, like them, live in the house from Ex Machina
I love that this guy is wearing the special locking bike his own bedroom
Can't speak for that guy, and I don't have a peleton, but I do wear the stupid shorts when I ride on a trainer, indoors. They have a butt pad, and prevent chafing. As I wear those stupid shorts, be glad I spare you and ride indoors sometimes.
“Architectural corners? Those are for the simple poors.”
All these fitness models have the “oh god i think im gonna puke deep breaths deep breaths” look down pat
I have a Peloton but I’d really like the ones in all the promotional pictures where you don’t need to plug it in to a power outlet for the screen to work
Duh. The rich get the wireless peloton with air charging.
Damn those rich people !! Are they the ones who’s cars they show in the adverts in the mountains with no snow over them aswell ?
Those are the ones. Their cars melt the snow ahead of them.
100% Thee first thing I thought too. Every shot I was looking for the cable behind the tires. I was like Hmm, are those things battery powered or what?
Must be the same people in toothpaste commercials who never look like rabid dogs with foam coming out their mouths, but somehow keep all the foam civilized inside their mouths.
And who never have the dried morning slob around their face - oh wait is that just me !!
You didn’t get the Giligan edition that is pedal powered.
They're powered by the envy of people who can't afford one
It has to be plugged in?! Guess I’ll be staying with my rigged up cheapo bike with an iPad and Peloton app longer than I thought 🤔
those models are designed to convert the ambient CO2 and smug into electricity. It is smug, right ... ? that haze concentrated around L.A. county 🤔🤔 😏
i would never ever buy this. Nordic Trac 4.0 is like all other Nordic Tracs before...not for me
What's that knob on the bike? Also, what does that red thing do?
Sweat would warp the hardwood floors, for reals... He should put it on a Persian rug....
and then drive to Nordstrom's in my new GMC I got for Christmas.
Why is it these people using the Peloton don't look like they need it? Where are the 320-pound slobs who care barely drag their carcasses of the couch? Why aren't they using it in their living room in Armpit Falls WV in a shack, littered with beer cans and candy wrappers?
Armpit Falls gave me the best laugh!
Well he’s currently in hospital having his left leg amputated due to diabetes... but I’m sure when he’s out he’ll one leg it on the Peleton..
While on a conference call.
I had a Peloton once. My dog decided to lift his leg on it. BOOM! Eight guys with laser guns dropped out of the sky and busted through all my windows at once like Minority Report. Long story short I’m no longer allowed to own a Peloton 🤷‍♀️
No way man, this dude is only staying at the top 5* hotels that include a Peloton by the giant bay windows overlooking downtown.
It’s not plugged in!
Gonna get hurt with no helmet.
"Look at those plebs biking *to work*! Instead of pretending to bike before taking the towncar to the spa!"
And drip sweat all over my hand-scraped teak-inlaid white oak floors imported from Indonesia and Bavaria.
Dude these are exceptional
Riding my Peleton bike with my view of Avengers Tower is really inspiring. I hope Thor notices me one day.
Whoever you are, you’re my favourite person on Twitter
I have a killer view. Unbelievable. I prefer to stare at a screen with a virtual spin class.
When do you work?
People? Last I checked PEOPLE had money. Those are peasants... *continues enjoying a life free of paying a fair share in taxes*
Now that i’m interacting with you, this is being fed to me. FWIW, my wife @Schmittastic really wants a Peloton bike 😂
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This Peleton should be rescued, and given to a better owner. I have a well lit atrium, but with no stationary object in it's center, much like a hole in my heart.
Here’s mine. Stunning view of my sump pump cabinet and old ratty furniture collection.
Hank, you really should open your blinds so your Peleton can soak up the sun.
It’s in the basement. That window opens to a escape pit in case of fire!
Is that a Kirby vacuum cleaner? If so, WINNER!
Mine’s in my basement, too.😂😂😂
If only that lamp were a Christmas Story Major Award lamp....
There's a window in front of it, and no doubt the washer and dryer are just behind it, making it easier to hang clothes on
Is that...the circuit breaker? Riding the peloton and being able to be right there in case a fuse blows is peak convenience
Rack view, nature in all its glory.
But I had to hardwire my Peloton into the breaker box because with all of the hours I spend on it, it consumes more energy than any one outlet could possibly supply.
which one of you is this? UNACCEPTABLE
I had to look up"inglenook"smarty pants!
damn. real life
"inglenook" - love it!
I only peloton outside
I’m now painfully aware that my house has none of these fantastic rooms.
What's more important, the Peloton or the Peloton placement?
If you have to ask.... lol... Honestly it seems more like the photo of the Peloton in your amazing house, is all that matters. Don't let the UPS delivery person leave, cause it's going back!
If your Peloton overlook does not meet Washingtonian Magazine’s definition of breathtaking then you have voided the warranty and your Peloton is subject to repossession by the manufacturer.
"RUMPUS ROOM" makes me giggle 🤣
Wait. It doesn't come with a floor to ceiling glassed penthouse?
And not looking out over the canyon, ski slope, or ocean
I would put mine anywhere it would fit
Oh my God, is that a rumpus room??!
Please!! DELETE DELETE!! Very difficult for me to see beloved Peloton treated in this manner!! I most go rest now...
Where I film porn movies and then take a break on my peloton.
Hmm...must be circuit training
“inglenook” 😂
The only time this is acceptable is while it’s hiding, and being secretly ridden by the giftee, and awaiting to be given as a gift and then placed in the proper spot.
That Peloton bike should be confiscated by the Overpriced and Overprivileged Police Squad (‘OOPS!’) for an unacceptable usage & placement infraction. #shameful 😂
Someone actually bought one!?
We had our human staff put the Peloton in the basement near the litter box. That way they’re forced to actually clean it if they want their workout to be a less ‘aromatic’ experience.
Those cats faces though!!!! 😺😺 😄💕 "Sigh... WHY doesn't our human have a solarium to put this thing in? Why is it in our space? Why didn't they spend all that money on cat treats for us? Or a Cat Genie? Or a solarium? Did we mention treats for us??
Facing the breaker panel!
What kind of animals are these?
Yes, you should hang something, a painting or false picture with a view.
How do you ride that thing looking at a wall
I at least have mine facing out and not directly at the wall, but I do have it placed in the corner very similar to this.
Plus if you shake your sweat onto that breaker box it could short out your Peloton requiring you to go outside.
Is the view, gasp, a fuse box? Not an ocean sunset or wooded glen?
I have been texting Peloton corporate for years telling them that they need to raise their prices, just so "riff raff" like this doesn't have a chance to tarnish their good name. Plus I don't want to own an exercise bike "normal" people can afford, ew!
this entire thread 😹😹😹
Which is where the damn thing will end up after 1 use.....
That’s because it’s a stolen Peloton.
Obviously some cheap Chinese knockoff. Where the hell are the impossibly lean fit and chipper women and chiseled six-pack men joyously picking up the pace with a stupid smile on their faces?
This is my favorite. to an electrical box...😲
Cannot stop laughing at rumpus room!! I can't afford anything more than the digital app so i prop my tablet up on a folding table in front of my Amazon special generic bike and try not to hit the blinds covering the window to my left when I grab my TJ Maxx weights. #fancy
Sounds like me when I do yoga!🤣
Like a nice rug it really ties the room together
Promo code “Clue”?
Also wondering how they managed to turn the screen on without plugging the bike in?
They have the servants change the custom batteries every 6 hours
I’m laughing so hard, I just spent 90 minutes on my Peloton in my shitty basement. Notice the cord that plugs in the bike which no one tells you about.
For some of us, it’s an expensive Squatty Potty™️
"Then I put my Peloton bike right in the middle of it." #classic
I’m dying omg hlep 😭
For Gods sakes. “Mid century modern” is a goddam ranch house. 🙄
"won't it scratch the floors?" "I'm more worried the floors might scratch my Peloton"
It ties the whole room together and gives it that "d'Ouchy" vibe that is so difficult to achieve without just the right piece.
That would be a good third of Palo Alto Eichlers.
This thread is gold. Apparently, they plastered over the fireplace when they meticulously remodeled the midcentury modern.
My Peloton bike is considered "minimalist."
This reminds me of the McConaughey “boner” thread by @Mobute
I’ve been laughing my ass off all night at these. Refreshing everyone 10 minutes. Keep it going!!
Sometimes, they have to learn the Peloton way.
Opened up Twitter to this thread. Not quite sure how I feel about it. I want to ask you wtf you are doing with your life then I thought back to Friday when I sent my sister a steady stream of Blue Ivy memes...carry on Clu @joepriceesq
Great topic tonight bud. Perfect piñata to blast. 💥 🍭
Did you put it in her pooper tho?
this one is my favourite purely because there's an actual bike right there and she could take that little shit for a ride too, it'd maybe make him play up less because he's actually doing something interesting.
it doesn't have pedals on it.... but an indoor trainer would be cheaper.
It has click pedals, so you need special shoes.
I know what those pedals are, they just didn't look like they were attached from the angle & size of photo.
In front of an actual bike!
like a $10k bike too
This definitely looks like @JessicaChobot. Guessing the bike hanging belongs to her husband, @blairherter.
Gotta get him an updated photo. I've a few bikes that are way cooler than that one and, ya know, internet points and stuff
I can’t breathe OMG 🤣🤣🤣
Hey @JessicaChobot apparently you're the nanny? 🤣🤣
Is it her? I thought it might be! 😭
Yeah, she's on @blairherter's bike. So rude! 🤣
Jessica owns everything...I just use some things more than she does;)
HA I meant the tweet in that thread was rude, not Jess using the bike. Lets be serious, she's the boss over there.
I wanna know what they bought from @canyon_bikes with that bag in the corner.
This one made me think of the Blair Witch project.
Yay they'll let me work out -nanny
Poor little boy. He knows the beating starts when the bike exercise is over.
Like I'm going to let Nana ruin my goal stats as top dog. I would have to ride an extra 30 minutes a day to offset her slow ass. Sometimes I punish her by making her ride the real bike ...outside.
I just bought a second Peleton so I don't have to keep moving one between the two solariums in my home.
Wait don’t do my girl @JessicaChobot like that. 😂
But Mommy I want to ride a real bike!
Gotta keep the nanny tight
you made it, nanny!
You just savaged peloton! This thread need to be unrolled and pinned somewhere
just get some rollers for the Specialized on the wall.
the bike on the wall doesn't seem to have pedals, though, so maybe the peloton is best there.
This is the best one so far!
LOL, this is the best one -- and for the ad agency, WHY was this a good idea😂?!
this wasn't an ad but I couldn't pass it up
The real bicycle having on the wall is pure inspiration, I’d imagine. You go!
No comment on real bike hanging on wall or did I miss something?
The actual fucking bike just hanging on the wall is my absolute favorite part of this whole thread
Sometimes I work out in front of my old real bike to shame it's uselessness
OMG. I didn't even notice the small child at first. WTAH, Peloton?
If you zoom in that's the same orange umbrella stand the guy with the turquoise peacock uses
...white people disciplining kids???
Lol for a split second I thought that Peloton was poppin a wheelie, as a disciplinary measure
What’s that thing on the wall behind her?
Is that Courtney Love
Or a tired Angelina Jolie
this is my favorite
“No. I don’t know what that is on the wall. I’m sure it’s one of my pieces of priceless art.”
Never noticed the child recresting Blair Witch final scene.
😂😂😂 You absolutely deserve an award for these tweets.
that specialized bike, though
I vote this is the best one. I cackled
The one with he child in time out
I love that the actual mountain bike is hanging behind the peleton
road bike*
Aw gawd, good one! That's so nice of you.
My fav. Thing about this one is the @iamspecialized bike on the wall and the @canyon_bikes bag on the ground... in case anyone wants to actually ride a bike 🚲
Dang she looks exhausted on that Peloton bike.
Dude, can't get enough of these, cracking me up! 😂
p.s. the vegan one was the best
Why didnt you go to the Royal Rumble?
Decent tickets were $130 each and its now on hour five of storylines I wouldn’t know much less care about. It would’ve been a novelty thing and the novelty would’ve worn off by now.
I gotta tell you, I was really looking forward to the tweets.
Yeah I know. The people watching would’ve been incredible. But I’d be so bored after a while.
What if you drank 71 Coors Lights?
Sounds like a 30 for 30
What if I told you That one man at the Royal Rumble Cared more about entrant number 71 Than entrant number 30
What if I told you... some one drank 71 Coors Lights... Punched a 22 year old frat boy in the face... did crank with some Hell's Angels... and is still a member of the Barr Association
what if I told you the real Royal Rumble took place in Clue Heywood's stomach
"All you can see" is this magnificently beautiful wonder of mankind ingenuity? Don't you mean you GET to see the Peloton bike?!?!
As the Pelotonic screen clearly states, this is what the Wu Tang would want me to do.
Peloton is for the children
So much better to see the woods you NEVER ski in...
Also, has anyone seen my Wu Tang records?
This is my favorite... Because I love that view and yes, I'd have a useless exercise implement in that window thinking it would inspire me to exercise. I'm that stupid. Thank God I'm poor...
I pray to the Goddesses every day, while I commune on my peloton, thanking them that you are poor. Blessed be, my sister.
(No comment)
Now I really want one and that view I just left an amazing view on the Smoky’s.
It's totally like flying with E.T. over the treetops.
You’re making me want to order one. The turquoise peacock that is
Just there to remind us that brown liquor is keto
Hell yeah baby!!! My first full Peloton boner!!! Whooo!!!!
(No comment)
The peacock is actually his god.
You forgot the caption for this one. This is 100% real by the way "Peloton owner Steve Martocci says he plans to move his bike to an empty water tower this summer, just so he can project the videos onto the 18-foot cylindrical walls."
Water tower for Peloton > water tower for water #winning
Looks like Patrick Bateman's apartment.
That liquor cart, though!
What is this in USD? Asking for a friend.…
if you have to ask...
I didn’t know mark ruffalo has one!
Lost it at turquoise peacock
His face tells me he’s already hit that fully-stocked mini bar.
And if you knew what Peloton implies in Spanish—it just makes these tweets and pics all the more hilarious!
I can also easily access the fully laden bar while I’m spinning my brains out half in the bag !
Is there another place to put your turquoise marble peacock? I mean WTH?
Frankly, this guy looks like he has worse troubles as those irons in that orange thing appear to be working their way up his arse. Could that be the source of the angst on his face?
That guy parties.
That cart of booze though...
Hey you need my painting to go with it @JCVCreates
Yooo even the dude in this picture laughed at that.😂
Is this @robdelaney trying to cycle away from his sons Fnord and Krales?
Those peacocks make great fire starters! Really!
Looks like he’s watching The Good Place on his display. It’s very funny.
who is this man? he is not your husband
Is that a TV set above the fireplace? That's the weirdest part of this, tbh
Its the up-cycled bar-cart from Flea Market Flip! A steal at ONLY $650!
Okay it's official. You're my new favorite account to follow, love your Tales From the Peloton-iverse appearing on my TL in the last hour.
OMG 😆😆
Sure has a lot of booze in there, on a wheeled cart for those wild nights too!
hahaha this is brilliant!
I remember, one time, at Peloton Camp...
I think the peacock you had in your fireplace when you took this picture was a bad idea 😂
I’m also REALLY happy and well-adjusted...
What?! That's where I keep mine!
This is just making me want a peloton
Look at the way he’s laughing to himself. He must be really happy on that Peloton bike.
Uh oh looks like the unkempt hubbo has distastefully tossed his Lexus SUV keys on the couch. But perhaps he just is anxious to read the important thick books on the coffee table.
They are important vintage books that I bought at pottery barn
Nah, she broke into the house using keys she found on the street, just to ride the peleton bike.
OMG, someone else calls it an 'arcadia door'. I feel validated.
This is the SUPER FANCY version that does not even need a plug
I knew you were from AZ before I checked your bio. Dead giveaway? “Arcadia door” 🌵✨🌞
yep. Can't call it a sliding glass door. Doesn't have that Arcadia cache.
Not too ajar though. That would be careless.
Right next to a $2000 Crate and Barrel Petrie sofa. Don't ask me how I know that 👀👀
Not fresh air! 😂
The commercial that makes me die inside is the one where her kids wake up smiling as she finishes his workout, not during her workout screaming that she stop and make them breakfast....I guess if I buy one my kids wouldn't be as shitty 🤔 #richpeoplehaveeverything
Too bad about that hole in the ceiling from that one time I stood up 😏
In nice weather, I have the help bring my Peloton bike outdoors, so I can enjoy the flowers & fresh air. When it rains, I just have them bring it back inside to one of my simulated flora environments. I have a desert zone & 5 separate tropical zones.
In other words, the bike is over priced and disproportionately caters to ultra wealthy individuals as a status symbol.
I`ll be sure to wave as I ride by !
Architectural Digest is actually where I get my inspiration for various places to put my Peloton Bike
Exactly. Stunning new places to put my exercise equipment in.
Which half? Above the waist (desire) or below (action)?
This might be your best one, specifically because of this monster wearing combat boots and a blazer in (ostensibly) his own house.
Maybe later I'll photoshop some sort of depraved pornograpgy onto her little screen.
That’s the inspiration she needed
Tom has been such an inspiration to many of us.
This is the winner
Jeff Goldblum's wife can do as she pleases buddy
Anything except draw his gaze, apparently. Although he may actually have compound eyes still...
Dude that's her fathe- no, probably not, huh?
Slacker husbands in the background are one of my favorite things about these ads, maybe more than the improbably pretty surroundings.
That’s ridiculous! Everyone knows half gay, combat booted husbands read Dwell.
Interestingly this is the only one I've seen the power cord in so far.
this one's epic! 😂😂💜
(No comment)
I think you meant bisexual? But also, congrats on having a bisexual husband. I hear those are super rare. They're currently undervalued and a great investment.
Aw. Thanks. I think your profile pic is rad.
Its close, but this one is the best of the thread.
You mean: Will have Consuela move...
This is a really fun thread, Clue
Seems like you have a problem with Jeff Goldblum???
Thats jeff goldblum pal
Indoors! On a rug! Right next to my off-white sectional! Get your Jeff Goldblum looking ass outta here with your boots on!
Half gay...I think u mean bike curious
Nah, dude. He's Randy Rainbow gay
isn't that Jeff Goldblum?
yes and half gay is a reference to The Life Aquatic, my Peloton jokes have layers man
I need another cup of coffee and will reread thoughtfully
That is 100% Alistair Hennessey
I’m following you Clue so that I may improve my life
😂😂😂😂😂 I’m so here for this. Thank you!
I knew it!! Should have been part hay though, not half.
Everyone gets a Glock.
Lmao wow. 🤣
This is the best one Bravo
Woah, woah, woah. I like AD.
Omg...😂😂😂😂 I love you. I truly do.
Bwahahahaha 😂
He has 4 layers on, while she's in tights.
This one got me! HAHAHAHA
ok, I kinda giggled at this one. "half gay" is awesome.
Is the background of app a Doom scenario? Nice motivation!
You're killing me here! 🤣😂🤣
Actually I think that's Jeff Goldblum
$3k bespoke combat boots from London.
My god, this is good.
This when was my favorite
I’m dying reading these comments. Funniest thread ever...
My friend has a Peloton bike positioned right on the precipice of his outside Japanese garden and I put that thing right between my legs and rubbed my stank all over it.
I'm looking forward to the influx of Pelotons on craigslist once the final payment is made. "Used once. $4995"
Are we sure that isn't Jeff Goldblum?
Lmao, that's what I was thinking 😂
this thread omg so funny
That's actually a one room pop-up gym where the gentleman is patiently waiting for his turn on their timeshare peloton bike. Your lack of trendy peloton knowledge is appalling.
dont appreciate you throwing shade at jeff goldblum like that.
(No comment)
That's her Dad. She's my (coastal) gf.
What does that ladder behind your couch go up to?
That’s not her husband. It’s Jeff Goldblum.
I’m not retweeting this because you didn’t refer to the husband as bi-sexual. ‘Half-gay’ is a slur much like ‘half-dead’ is. I am serious. Pro tip: Don’t hate on the boots-he has it going on like a false tax return. I’m serious
What’s the non-problematic way to refer to someone who is equally dead and alive?
Of course he reads Architectural Digest. He's looking for ideas on where to put the Peleton.
Is this anyone's aspirational household?
I think it is if you're like, you know, a yuppie or whatever we call this cohort these days.
I sure hope not. A clearer picture of "parallel play" was probably never planned.
What is she watching on that screen? Someone squatting?
Dog, is that Jeff Goldblum? I didn't know he had halfsies of a Peloton!
I thought he was reading peer reviews about his acting on Trivago commercials?
He's bisexual, and you were fine with that when you married him, you passive-agressive endorphin junky.
I just hate that word so I made up the other one
It’s subtly different from bisexual. Very useful word.
Which half - top or bottom?
Whoa! They actually bothered to plug this one into a power outlet 😂
If she doesn’t have a mat or towel under that bike to protect her wide-plank walnut floors from sweat damage, I’m cancelling her insurance
She should get some Quick-Step laminate.
I’m at work and laughing out loud. This is especially awkward since I’m HR. Someone should call me.. about myself.
The best HR is a fun HR. 😁😅🥳
I'm done. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😅
you have to try to find out
Best. Thread. Ever. Thank you for the reprieve.
*half gay 😭😭😭
Literally just spit out coffee 😂😂😂
Wait when did you marry Jeff Goldblum
...wait that's Jeff Goldblum right?
Har dee har, in an entirely pejorative thread, “half-gay” sure reads like a backhanded slur. Do better.
you really understand satire don’t you
sorry, did peloton call someone half-gay first, as if it’s either a) a thing to be mocked or b) a thing at all
you have a peloton don’t you
He literally can’t do better. Of all the posts in the thread, this was the most liked. By a mile. Take your virtue signaling elsewhere.
this could be us while we wait for @PessJercival to get back from her trombolise lessons but you playin
Did your husband pluck you out of the intro to psychology class he was teaching at Vassar?
I’m ⚰️⚰️⚰️
That is not Jeff Goldblum and my God, did they murder Muffkins and use her as a couch rug???
Half gay husband needs his own sitcom
I can’t even You are amazing 😉
I so seldom comment anywhere, but this little riff, in context with the entire thread, was brilliant. 😂🤣
Half gay husband looks like Jeff Goldblum. 😭
😂😂 these buffoons in the ads are something else!
I had no idea Jeff @jeffreygoldbIum was doing Peloton ads.
You mean that's not Jeff Goldblum?
Hey! That's @jeffreygoldbIum you're making fun of...!! Foul! that Jeff Goldblum???
You "half gay" husband looks like Jeff Goldblum.
"I like to sit and read while my trophy wife rides the peloton. I motivate her by reminding her, she isn't getting any younger, rapturous."
With Peloton bike you can seamlessly swap out spouses and throw pillows.
This one wins the Internet. We are done now.
Don't be jelly.
Her husbands model is being developed in Peleton board rooms right now
Honestly though @JoJOBrien11 "my half-gay husband" is a future you statement and I'm dead
c'mon. You know Jeff Goldblum doesn't like architecture. #lowblow
this feed 🤣😂
Is the gay half the one reading "Architectural Digest"? Or it the half wearing combat boots?
Which part is the gay part? Combat boots or AD?
😂 U’re killing me
Her: “(Pant) I want (pant) a divorce (pant), Tristan.” Him: “Mmm-Kay.” “So, sushi tonight or Indian?”
Under rated tweet
I thought that was Jeff Goldblum
It's not working. He looks too metrosexual. I know! Combat boots! Yeah.
This tweet and this entire thread 😂
I know where you can put your Peloton.
THIS is real life man
Seems better than working out in the hellscape that Mid Atlantic winters have become. Cody’s abs makes up for the surrounding decor.
Consuelo! With an O!!! There is no such name as @#$%&€¿ Consuela!!!!! Sorry, pet peeve. Carry on.
Yo se! the mistake was part of the joke!
🤣but people actually think it's a real name 😔 Anyway, hilarious thread!
That is part of the joke.
Yeah I think that's been clarified by OP but thanks for your input!✌
Bizarre (if not negligent) that you don’t have a Peloton bike for your kid. Ours is right in front of our 70inch QLED 4K so our 6 year old can watch YouTube videos of other people riding their Peloton bikes.
At only $2300 a pop (and a basically free subscription of $460 per year), it just makes sense to put one in every room. Plus, you don't have to listen to Consuela moaning about being pregnant every time you want it moved to another room.
You can't make heaven
You didn’t just say that!?!?
She just applied at Trumps golf course
Is there anything that doesn't make you think of Trump?
Ok this is the funniest one! 😂😂
No she probably has 3 since you pay her minimum wage.
Hey Consuela! Escort Todd Jr. to the iPad suite and fetch me my Air Pods! #Gracias
Although all are funny THIS one is the best 🤣🤣🤣
Consuela????!!!! Racist
Ok, you have to stop. I have a charlie horse in my solar plexus.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. im pretty sure youre my new favorite twitter account
he's still at it 😂😂
Funniest one, IMO.
Ok, this made me cackle!!
Haha seriously. The whole thread is hilarious.
Your ‘dumb’ kid probably wants some attention for a change; perhaps read a little book together or some other one-on-one time with you 🤗
(Possibly sensitive)
😂😂😂 Epic f’n thread! Bravo. Thx for sharing @GreggAlan702
hahahahaha this thread I’m dying
omg lmaooooooooo mine is just in my boring loft feelsbadman wheres my CONSERVATORY
Pics please‼️‼️😝
This is the best thread on the internet. Mazal tov.
And I chant build that wall! While I employ an illegal to be my nanny lol
Brilliant and well done (and finally, this Peloton craze has to be one of the more obnoxious manifestations of a particularly American sickness...)
I like this one for you lol
Consuela!!! Biahahahahahahahhaa
😂😂😂😂Probably the best thus far #YouHadOneJob
the kid just took a dump in the lemonade pitcher.
I think this is my favorite.
Does Zwift get any advertising done in the US? It is actually good if people want to bike and get fit.
Never heard of it
With it you put a bike on a trainer. And it's not as expensive. Peloton seems to be targeted towards idiots. Plus they threatened to sue someone for using the word Peloton.
Put one in a pub and color me intrigued. Not a hipster pub, though.
Ok. I'll come clean. My peloton is used as a clothes drying rack.
I love this thread
This is not a joke, Beats. I am deadly serious about my Peloton bike placement.
Perfect spot is a walk in shower. 2 birds, 1 stone
Now all i can think about is if Frasier got a Peloton, where would it go in his condo?
Where his dad’s chair used to be.
Your callousness is bested only by your inspiring devotion to your Peloton. Don’t stop.
How long have you worked for Peleton or been paid by them to market their product?
I don't think they're gonna like this...
Will they pay me to take it down? :)
Road to Perdition vibe.
I hate the outdoors
This is a hilarious thread! #PeletonLife
Minus the view, in any home this generic room looks like it should be filled with off-season Christmas decorations, bulk paper products, and bags that need to be taken to Goodwill.
I also peddle with one leg.
Can you actually *see* the ocean from that ‘ocean-facing’ beach cottage, or do you have to imagine it from the sliver you can catch a glimpse of through the windows? 😉
People on the bus keep staring at me bc this thread has me dying. 😂😂😂 (I'm also listening to that song from the Peleton ad on loop so I can get my super healthy materialistic inner beast all hyped, which means I have no idea how loud I'm giggling.)
Gotta gave the Peloton pants to get a complete workout.
“The au pair was making my holistic vegan kale vodka smoothie too...”
wow, imagine a four-bedroom beach cottage (square footage, please?) for my bungalow life. 🏡
why do you have so many marketing pictures of Peloton bikes?
Because I have committed to the Peloton lifestyle
It’s his passion.
Can’t say this company doesn’t know exactly who can, and also, who can’t afford their product.
but have you doubled your money and made it stack yet?
Next take it to Berlin, you can literally position it to seem like you’re uniting East & West like Hasselhoff!
You made me read about Peloton bikes and this fucking guy, oh boy
Let me be clear, you'll feel like you're flying over London because you will be staring intently at the workout that has a video of a London flyover. The fact that the airbnb has a birds-eye view of the Thames is irrelevant, Peloton-wise
This one's friggin too funny. 😂😂
Sure let me go out back and grab a few thousand off the money tree and ill get right on that, lol.
My real bike can ride up a virtual mountain and thru a volcano. Your Peloton, in reality, is an expensive clothes rack
Coming to America vibe.
This is new level of stupid.
They call it satire on Twitter. 😂😂😂 Or funny AF.
Any one who knows me, knows not to bring up anything related to exercise even jokingly, people die long lingering deaths because of this stupid hobby. No exercise, eat ice cream every day, heart attack in sleep, done.
You ARE my father, Harbant! 🤣
Well, like my grandma told me, my wisdom is like a drop of oil in a pond, just give it time and it will cover all of it, not to any depth, but cover it any ways. I always smuggled a ton of candy to her, she was super diabetic, but died happy at age of 61.
Good news- my dad will be 80 this summer. He told me long ago to shoot him if he ever reaches this age but I'm thinking he may have second thoughts.
Just show up with a gun for some real fun.
My cholesterol is 134 and BP 88/132 so over the years, I have moved my target from 45 to 65 to 85 to errrr.... 110 ??
If scientist come up with anti wife pill, I could live past my target, o ther wise she tells me, today you are a dead man every day and one of these days I might just find that one last straw
Shoot first ask questions last. Being that he's older he'll probably appreciate succumbing to such an old school quote and the irony of it all. *This is a joke don't 🔫 your 👴...unless you really want to.
Lol- that's golden right there. In all honesty, I hope he makes it to his 80th so I at least have the choice. 😉
Take it to the next level, take him with you handgun shopping, let him pick one and never tell him what it's for.
lmaooooo those damn bikes i’m always seeing over here that remind me i’m poor
Is that not San Francisco?
Pretty sure that’s the Shard in the background but either one works
You’re way ahead of all of us.
The BEST thread Ever!!!
AD & Lifestyle Stylist for this brand rn.
I would, but don't have the money. :-) Happy that someone can do that. I have no clue (phun intended) who you are, but hey, at least you are having fun. All the best, and keep on cycling.
You should tots do this!!
Tots!! 😂
Ok. But your 15 minutes; BRILLIANTLY DONE. Hashtag goals.
I was debating which app was funnier IG or Twitter n after this yup twitter.
and to think you made us rent actual bikes.
Solid juice drinking game in the background. Definitely kale heavy.
This woman doesn’t actually pedal; she’s doing crunches
Hubby’s taking a training break in the background with the latest #TB12 concussion water. Only $20/liter but totally worth it.
..... with a rail thin model....
So glad I paid extra for the male model. Totally worth it.
The smell of sweat helps to suppress your appetite too.
If I had a wife who looked like a Barbie I'd pose her like that too
Best place for your #peloton bike is under your rear and between your feet.
Next to your $15k doors of course
Also, it gives you a break from looking at the Zen garden on the $9000 wooden riser upstairs.
Looks like this fam needs two - they have to take turns hydrating and cycling? How gauche.
I'd have said a good place would be between yer legs
this is fantastic. I don't think our Peloton placement would be acceptable here.
A good place for your peloton is in the Hudson River. Get off your fat behind and walk/run.
Bet those are virtual cacti too?
Hey if you ever think of getting a new one I would gladly accept your handmedowns. I would even drive to NYC to it up. I always wanted one, bt can’t afford it🤣
I like to wait for my super hot, super athletic wife to finish her ride, then, instead of following her to my glass shower with waterfalls and 90 jets of high pressured water, I ride until I cant feel my thighs
The guy in the back is like "she's on the damn bike again"
Lmao ya make it annoying so you gotta remember
That’s my favorite thing about the peloton fad: where ya gonna put it? Hmmm?
In the nicest part of your nice house, duh
In this commercial they’re always near large windows with the drapes open. As your driving by their house “Oh look at Todd working out again for everyone to see 🙄”
Peloton Bike TV Commercial | On To The Next
No matter what you do or where you are, Peloton delivers your next challenge to your home daily with live studio cycling classes. To learn more, take a class...
That’s so silly. That’s what instagram is for
Those commercials stress me out
*bUt YoU cAn SpIn YoUr StReSs AwAy*
the idea of buying a zillion dollar machine for that just gives me even more stress lol
To be fair, that space is probably occupied by your silver bullet empties.
Risky Business vibe.
Put it where the Xmas tree would be. Decorate with tinsel. Who needs a useless Xmas tree, anyway.
My aunt did that with the Harley frame her son left in the living room.
They really lean in to the 50-Shades-of-Grey aesthetic.
LOL “Conservatory” 😂
Ugh, why are they so poor?
Wow! Talk about slumming it.
Looks like we have a soulmate @fml_sh
Clue Heywood, you need to build your parents an addition for your Peloton.
THEY need to build it. I don’t care if they’re on a fixed income.
OMG stop...these are killing me!!! This is the funniest thing and I have a lot of work to get done and it is distracting me because I have to keep looking at this feed over and over because it is so hilarious!!!
I used my parents peloton when i visited
This is clearly Joel’s parents house in Risky Business. This must be his sister.
Ugh! How inconvenient....... Don't ever go back!
Reading these, and the Pelaton commercial comes on. Just beautiful timing. (Also I would let this girl place her Pelaton at my parents house too)
These tweets are HILARIOUS and I’m dying
I put the $10.00 bike I bought at goodwill in the back shed that the dog sleeps
I'm a Peleton watcher, Peleton watcher, here comes one now
The best is how these rooms are seemingly solely for the peloton and no other use/purpose. Wild how living the peloton lifestyle really just changes your priorities, man
If it doesn’t change your lifestyle then why even HAVE a Peloton bike?
Shit.. guess I have a pelo-ton to learn before I’m ready to dedicate my life to the cycle
But bah - you poors don’t have an exotic setup for your Peloton like these beautiful rich people. So just stay fat & poor, you can’t afford our bike anyway.
When is the last time you rode a bike?
I have a beach cruiser that I ride to bars! It’s Arcadia man
This one makes me itchy. I just keep imagining the headline, after she trips getting off this thing and falls left
This may be the best thing I’ve ever seen on this website
I just read the entire thread and I'm literally crying with laughter
It would have been brilliant with just one or two but it kept on giving!
It's been ages since I put on my stylish blazer and combat boots and sat down to enjoy an Architectural Digest
Our home is very much lacking in turquoise marble peacocks
I loved this so much. Made my day
Wow, only $9000 for the wood riser? Must’ve gone with cedar or pine. I prefer African Blackwood or Pink Ivory.
You too? I thought I was the only one!
God, the remake of Conspiracy Theory looks terrible.
Totes Black Panther!
Mines a gold gymmer
... and stare at the video screen
When did you order the light snow?
I would love a Peloton as much as the next guy, but this can’t be any more accurate 😂😂
Yall know they be watching her undress since she doesn't have blinds or curtains. She likes it.
the only thing that beats the view out the window is the view of my instructor encouraging me to go harder
suggestion for your next trip to NY
Well, you should turn the lights on! Nobody can see u in the dark..... & I wouldn't want to ride my real bike around NYC@ night either!
That CGI snow though, did it come with it?
this thread is hysterical
Not shown, the Nordictrack and Bowflex with towels draped all over them in the corner.
And a view of London from my penthouse too
How better for your neighbors to know your dedication to fitness.
Is this the one behind the Piggly Wiggly?
I notice there's no railing around it.
Barriers are bad feng shui
I hate every Peloton commercial because no one needs that over priced bike. You all need to get a moving bike and roll yourself to don’t have friends, that why you have friends on a screen....Maybe I went a little overboard...just u.
vent away. Clue deserves the death penalty for buying a Peloton.
So...revolution at six-thirty a.m. sharp, tomorrow?
I'll get the guillotine ready.
#imdead I put my 1984 “peloton” in my basement next to my 28 yr old sons Xbox -he still won’t move out
Pro tip. Have it done while at you’re at Davos so you don’t have to see the workers
I put mine in front of the tv.
...Oh!! That's the model that DOESNT come with the monitor. $7,999?
Works best with a Zenith 19” CRT console
19”??? Rich boy!
You gave $9000 for that riser? I would build you one for half that, can I come clean your house for $1000?
Straight cash homi
On to the next one, on to the next one. Lol
I could have built that for like 3K. Lets not use that dude next time lol
Best thread! Can't stop laughing!
This one's pedestal is too low, you peasant.
By the age of 33, you should have: a lawyer, an accountant, an orthodontist, and a carpenter
Thank you for this thread. Amazing.
U over paid 😳
One of the best threads I’ve seen on Twitter
$9,000 for a wooden box? This sounded like a good price to you?
Such is the rate that a world-class cabinet maker demands.
read through this threat 🤣
You paid how much for $150 in material and maybe 10 hours of carpenter work??
$9000 for that? How in the world did you get rich?
How the top 5% live... 🙄
That is a monumental growth of a machine that promises no upgrade in game statistics other than hopeful promises that will lead his/her journey
I think I recognize you from my Facebook news feed.
Doesn’t it cost cheaper to go with a real bike and meet real people?
why would you want to do that?
NINE GRAND FOR A WOODEN BOX?! Some people have more money than sense.
I’ve read this entire thread three times, and each time it’s just as funny as the last. Thank you
I particularly like the "half-gay husband reading AD wearing combat boots". Gotta love those stylists 😉
I screen-shotted that one it was so funny
I am crying at this feed. It makes me want a Pelaton. But most importantly, where’s my penthouse in the hills with a view for proper placement? I need this JUST to house my Pelaton.
I used to work for Peloton until I sued them and won. They wouldn’t let me take lunches or use the restroom. In fact the majority of homes we delivered to 8/10 were mansions. One home had a stream running through it. These pictures are what I saw in homes every day.
Said Bill Clinton
Does anyone speak slang in spanish??? Slang-ish? "Peloton," is slang for "dumb ass" and thus, fitting for the contraption. Love the thread..just adds to the mania.
I place my 1 of 4 peletons. In my temp controlled imported Spanish brick wine cellar. Looks great next to my Chateau Petrus collection. Awesome feed
I have a wealthy friend who owns two. One in her lovely manse and another in her lovely beach manse. She has never failed to mention her peloton when I see her. Never. She doesnt always tell me how her kids are doing but she always tells me how wonderful her peloton is.
You need new friends Jerry. 🤨
I don’t actually want to hear about her kids. But I think she’s trying to convince me to get a peloton.
Only if you have the perfect scenic room. Tell ya what...some advice: Get a new home worthy of the Peloton, THEN buy a Peloton FOR it. 🤨
This is what kind of carpentry I'm Trynna do after going to WGTC
Still not the same as the real bike riding experience in the real nature
For $9000 it must have been reclaimed pine wood. No respectable snob would settle on anything less than $20k. 😉
Glad I’m not the only one that noticed this travesty. A $9k platform is hardly worthy of supporting a Peleton.
That's what the company gets when they sell their bikes to poor people 😉
Why this is barely a step above wooden pallets built for shipping. The horror.
As a cyclist (mountain biker), my beef with this ad is that it’s inside AT ALL. You have gorgeous woods through your window. Get outside! Shit.
It was IMPERATIVE to put it fully-visible in the center of my curtainless floor-to-ceiling all-windows room. THIS IS THE ONLY LIFE. Granted it meant moving my display cases of crowns, jewels, only-worn-once Versace gowns, and diamond encrusted dildos..but we all make sacrifices.
this is the best thing I saw all day
You forgot the private jet.
You need to step up your Peloton game.
I’d have to sell both kidneys
king troll
In Aspen, Colorado, the multi-billionaires put a Peloton in every room of their "ranch houses."
Jesus Christ, the serious responses. I can't even......
I don't need a peloton. I have a beautiful landscape state with friendly bike lines, splendid beaches sidewalks and magnificent weather to run a marathon.Guess what!?'s free all year around.
You are saying me right now!!! Outstanding...
You overpaid BIG TIME
Is this the set from Ex Machina?
Yeah that's cool, but will it make the incredible pain in your ass disappear after riding it? That's what I wanna know. 🤨
where did you put yours? 😌✨
Not quite sure you are doing it right
this thread is incredible.
Are your first names Hasn't Gotta?
That’s so great, unfortunately I had to sell my Peloton platform to pay my mortgage.
read Joe this thread
What is wrong with you?
I can see my posh cousin living in Cayman Islands on this bike.
Peleton is probably throwing a shit fit over this lol. Just as they are free to promote and market us this overpriced POS, clue is free to make fun of it and we fkn love it
You have pelotones.
The carpenter you keep on retainer, just for jobs like this.
Where does one plug this Peloton in all of these settings?
USB of course. Duh. 😂 But there might be a battery powered version. Or solar. Which means putting it into the 4 season sunroom. 🤔
I'm so glad I'm not the only person who's epically annoyed by these douchey commercials.
I feel like if federal workers just sold one maybe two of their Peloton bikes they could be okay for a week or so
I got a $50 bike at a wholesale club and downloaded peloton app for tablet, same idea less money
None of these Pelotons are plugged in.
If you have that much money, why doesn't your slave ride you around on his bike?
Lol @jimrome brought his to Atlanta for the Super Bowl
Wooden toys only, please. Only the finest for my offspring.
Peloton equipment is for the 1%
Because it is no longer safe to ride outside. Cyclist in a glass cage.
I put my bicycle with two wheels on the street and move myself to work and back, and it saves me $1000 a year in subway fare and another $1000 on gym membership!
I remember this from the product placement in Ex Machina
How about getting a real bike that isn't bolted down, grab a helmet and take a ride out doors for christs sake.
I hid my Peloton from my svelte, athletic wife until after Christmas not knowing she was secretly using it without my knowledge. Imagine my surprise when she looked ready for the Tour de France on Christmas morning.!
I have a Pelotron. It's electric so I don't have to peddle at all. I also had a cup holder and a cafeteria tray installed.
I have literally thought that Peloton sells a "scenery projector" to go with the GO NOWHERE bike. Seriously the most pretentious commercial on tv and ultimately its not a thorough workout.
I’m just jealous 😒😕
Alas, poor Nordic Trak.
(No comment)
$9k for a wood platform is pretty steep!
Hmmm reminiscent of Jillian Michaels' Nordic tracking in Renata's foyer from Big Little Lies.
mine is in the corner of my tv room. does that count?! ;-)
Shhhh. They might repo it if they find out 😉
Buys peloton. Proceeds to fight against street improvements that make it easier to use bikes as a transportation mode. #bancars
I built a house around my Peloton.
None of those ads show any fans or airflow around those bikes. I hope those people have lots of towels on the floor because there will be sweat EVERYWHERE.
They don’t sweat. They perspire
I have like 4 fans on my, I open all the windows in winter and I still roast on my trainer.
You're all barbarians. Peloton riders don't sweat nor perspire. They GLISTEN in the sunlight, like the sheen on a cherub's wing. AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!
Horses sweat. Men perspire. Women glow. Ask any Southern lady
Secondly, they don’t prespire. (Had to complete my favorite CEWIII quote whether you had intended to start it or not)
They neither sweat nor perspire, they glow.
The ladies glow.
The judges would also have accepted “glisten”.
They get "moist"
I prefer it when they’re wet
Yes, Khaleesi. It is known.
Consuela dabs the sweat away so gently.
My grandmother told me the way it used to be said was"I feel the heat."
Yeah.... horses sweat.
And the men thunder.
Can’t you hear? Can’t you hear their thunder? You better run. You better take cover 👍🏼😂
Oh, now that is a glorious response. 👏👏 #vegemitesandwich
Precisely. said the man from down under.
And... we’ve reached the dick joke. Strong work, from Peloton to a talking penis in just seven replies. #manfromdownunder
😇 Years of practice.
....and possibly glisten!
Glisten. Ladies glisten.
Horses sweat, women glisten.
Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies glow...... you needed to know that so your towel supply is adequate
And they don't perspire.
This is the correct reference/reply.
Correction...glisten. They glisten.
The people my parents worked for 100% for real told us that once. Mom was the housekeeper/cook and Dad was the gardener
Silly, horses sweat. Men perspire. Women glow.
No, as a female once told me, they "glisten".
Nope. They “sparkle”.
Towels? On the floor?? But my sweat butler takes care of that sort of stuff..
Nonsense. The sweat is stored atop their sculpted cheekbones.
Rich people don't sweat.
Correct, they "perspire"....
Correction. They don’t sweat... they honey....
Also, thanks to their carefully-regulated gluten-free organic diet, their perspiration actually smells like lilacs, as opposed to the funk of rotting musty undead shart-monsters that the rest of us poor slobs excrete.
You should write greeting cards. 👌
Thank you! Well, I AM a writer...just not in the glamorous, fast-paced, high-octane, rewarding world of the greeting card industry! 😎
Dear reader, copse, whiporwill. Please incorporate as much as possible. Thank you!
Work out so hard you sweat? Ew.
only if they ride them
For when your living room doesn’t already smell like a gym
Horses sweat. Men perspire. Women are all a-glow. Get it right.
No, no. Pelaton People merely...glisten.
smells awesome in there, i am sure
Peloton owners don’t sweat. They have people for that.
No, that's when Consuela comes out with the ostrich feather fan.
Coñsuela. 👇🏻 🧽
Rich people don’t sweat!
I sweat like a hippo on my off-brand Chinese exercise bike that's located in my dark basement.
Ha ha ha, jokes on you. Sweat is only a condition that affects poor people. Peloton owners Botox their entire bodies to avoid such matters.
They also don't show the very real cable that needs to have an outlet. This is like looking at homes w amazing views, when the stagers put the couch facing the views, like sure, I guess we could have our backs to the TV??
There’s a mat for that.
Yes!! I taught spinning for years...put that in my house?? NEVER!! It’s sweat central.
If that is where your fitness model wife wants it, that is where it goes
They are the hottest ad models, no joke.
It's funny how no one in the Pelaton ads... Actually needs a Pelaton.
Seventy per fucking cent.
This is so so good. My wife worked for a family who had one and they kept theirs in the workout corner of there garage, where these kinds of things belong, rather than prominently featured next to their dining room table like the buffoons in these ads
You’re married to Consuela?
I just peed 😂😂
Consuela, please clean this up!
(Possibly sensitive)
Wins for this year!!!
575 likes in 3 hours. You rock.
Hey, she's amazing.
Lol 😂. I laughed so hard my cat ran out of the room
Here’s your 🍪! You win! 😂
Thank you for making my bad day go away.
That was the cast off last season Peloton.
*laughs heartily into salad*
The vast majority of them become hangers approximately 3 weeks after they are purchased or gifted.
No. Your Peloton should ONLY be in a garage if it's a Christmas gift for your wife and you're trying (and failing) to hide it from her.
Proud buffoon here, happy (?) to have ours next to the dining room table. Lots of tree huggers have intentionally small homes that make it necessary to be content with eyesores in common areas.
I thought you kept it in the garage for a month before Christmas so your wife can slip out of bed when she thinks you’re asleep, get a work out in, and then slip back into bed reeking of BO that you ignore?
This is brilliant work. OUTSTANDING.
They run about 2-3k relax the backgrounds don’t matter
Damn this is the best thing I’ve ever seen
Pelaton to Columbus!
the thread here 😂
Hilarious haha so true. We need to upgrade
its like owning a baby grand piano, but for condo-dwelling yuppies.
That's kind of ironic because I put my Peloton on top of my baby grand piano. I've hired a pianist to play my favorites like "Livin' On A Prayer" and "Baby Got Back"
Liberace eat your heart out.
That is not his favorite part.
Lmao!! Best
Omg hilarious😂😂
I use mine to help combat feelings of yachtlessness.
If only I was a top 0.001 percenter I rage ! Internally of course.
If I was a top .001 percenter my Peloton would pedal itself.
My small garage-sized stealth startup is disrupting the entire gamified stationary bike market! Peloton geeks hate us. Our patent pending technology allows anyone to use a power drill to pedal their Peloton bike. Start hacking your social media health stats now!
But that doesn’t help me with my yachtlessness disorder- please help
Joke among my triathlete friends who LOVE talking about how awesome and techy their bikes are; "yeah but you still have to pedal it though"
Whilst listening to Yacht Rock🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵
It's ok, you can identify as a .001%
Alas, if I not for my Peloton bike workouts, I would be investing that time raising Yachtlessness Awareness.
It’s a terrible affliction
Better than breaking your hip after being forced to ride an actual bike after having one of your yachts go rogue taking your peloton with it. Count your blessings and quit yer bitchin'.
I use mine as a clothes valet.
Literally laughed out loud
K, next album is going to be called “Feelings of Yachtlesness” #yachtless
Sounds depressing
These are all hilarious. So far these are my favorites.
(No comment)
As a Peloton owner with it in the boring corner of my bedroom, this is the most hilarious and accurate thread ever. 🤣
I'm so envious of these people. I can't afford a house big enough for a Peloton and I'm reduced to riding a real bike in the out of doors.
Horrible! Ryan, I don't know how you can live like this.
NOBODY should be reduced to riding an actual bicycle. And outdoors, no less. What have we come to????
Wow, @ryanthink; how brave of you to tell your story.
I ride a real bike set in one of those rear-wheel frames that we put in the PC room. Is that ok?
You poor thing. Vow that you will never let the unfortunate reality that you're destined to be a have-not who can't afford a Pelaton impact your sense of self! YOU GOT THIS!
Absolutely! Ryan's story is truly heartbreaking. Surely we can all redeem a few of our stock options and contribute to ensure he can workout with dignity.
And why is it called working OUT?? OUT IS BAD!! Especially when it refers to OUTDOORS. I think we should officially change it to "working IN."
I will call, email, and tweet my representatives and all members of the @GOP to keep @ryanthink in their thoughts and prayers. That'll make his unbearable living situation all better.
You have a Politically Correct room. Cool. Or is it a Progressive Conservative room. Not so cool.
I can't 😂😂😂😂😂
Outdoor exercise is for the meek.
Unless it's a picture perfect autumn day in Central Park and all the peasants and ugly people have been cleared out. Consuela picks us up so we don't actually have to cycle on the streets.
The Netherlands. You have come to the Netherlands.
Come unto, as per the brilliance above.😂
I the raccoons chase you?? How horrid!
Ryan there is a support group for people like you. We are all here for you. I too suffered the indignity of having to ride a bike outside and I feel great now. Keep you head up you are not alone. God bless.
Thoughts and prayers. 🙏🏽
Thoughts and prayers.
Sad, but can you do this?
You mean, out in the weather? 'Gasp'
That is not who we are!
Sounds like you're a prime candidate for a GoFundMe account to cover the cost of a Peleton bike and to build a solarium to put it in. You shouldn't have to suffer like this.
Or rather to get another bike to head outdoors even more?
I’m immediately setting up a GoFundMe for @ryanthink. In a civilized society no one should be forced to live that way.
The struggle is real.
I've got a support for this very thing! We're there for you @ryanthink
So thats what Trump meant by "American Carnage". I get it now.
Would much rather be out on bike!
Ryan, I'm so, so sorry. I hope you can ride it at night.
(Sniffs derisively) Savage!
Thoughts and prayers for you my man. 🤣
I slum it in the basement on Zwift.
Thoughts and prayers to you Ryan, I am sure it’s not easy
This is all amazing.
This is my favorite thing on Twitter today! Brilliant.
I'm more of a toilet guy myself. Me and my hot date in the minimalist toilet/living space.
So does my sister Janis. Cycling is her "passion," if you didn't already know.
Quiet! She’s blasting her quads!
Shhh. you're ruining her workout.
Actually, she’s in a meeting...
Winner 🏆🏆🏆
Wish I could like this 1000 times
Don't ruin her workout!
I'm blasting my abs laughing so hard. 🤣
Sometimes I stream mountain rides on my 110 inch Ultra HDTV and imagine I am on a mission trip in Haiti. Very Uplifting!