Convopage
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Love putting my Peloton bike in the most striking area of my ultra-modern $3 million house
3,909 replies and sub-replies as of Sep 17 2019
I had my carpenter build a $9,000 finished wood riser for my Peloton bike in my glass-enclosed zen garden/home gym
I put my Peloton bike in the center of the panoramic living room window in my New York penthouse
When we visited my parents for Christmas I had to put my Peloton bike right in the living room, they didn’t have a home gym or a conservatory or anything ugh
A good place for your Peloton bike is between your kitchen and your living room facing the cactus garden so you always remember virtual spin class
I took my Peloton bike to Europe and used it on the balcony of our $2,000/night Airbnb and honestly I felt like I was flying over London, you should try it
I have a Peloton at home, at work, and also one placed by the ocean-facing living room windows of our four bedroom beach cottage
Probably the worst thing about putting a Peloton bike in my spotless huge kitchen is when my dumb kid interrupts the workout. Where is Consuela? She has one job!
Sometimes I’ll move the Peloton bike into our gallery so I can spend time with my half gay husband while he reads Architectural Digest wearing combat boots
My bright and airy sunroom is a great place for the Peloton bike. I leave the arcadia door ajar so I feel like I’m actually riding a bicycle...outside!
My Peloton is in the living room because it’s my favorite work of art aside from the turquoise marble peacock I keep in the fireplace.
The picture windows at our chalet provide breathtaking views from the Peloton bike. In the living room set behind it, all you can see is the Peloton bike.
Sometimes I let the nanny ride my Peloton. But the solarium is my space, so she only can ride in the garage and only when she’s disciplining my children.
Last year we painstakingly remodeled a midcentury modern house in the hills, including furniture from the period. Then I put my Peloton bike right in the middle of the living room.
This is absolutely unacceptable Peloton placement. This appears to be a basement and not a solarium, conservatory, grotto, inglenook, or rumpus room.
In the mornings, after my housekeeper meticulously makes my bed, I like to ride my Peloton bike in the window of my high rise and literally look down my nose at people.
You might ask why the windows in front of these Pelotons are so small. Unfortunately space on the yacht is limited and the gym is near the waterline. We manage.
Some people tell me that I should put my living room here because of the amazing view. I have to question their priorities. Who on earth spends more time on their couch than on their Peloton bike?
My husband says it’s a fire hazard to have the Peloton bike blocking the doors from the living room to the veranda. He doesn’t understand that the Peloton bike will be the first thing I save.
I put the Peloton bike in the kitchen of our loft so I can get a workout and also cook the vegan three-bean tortilla soup recipe I downloaded from Goop.
Ironic that “Peloton” means a group of cyclists when my favorite way to cycle is alone in the guest house living room at our Brentwood mansion.
Our architect suggested a Peloton nook for our pied-à-terre. They do not belong in nooks. They belong where an observatory would be, if you didn’t own a Peloton.
We fired him.
you started this last night and when I RTed this morning it somehow only had ~800 RTs so I'm claiming ground-floor status on this one
I've gained 4k followers so the exodus this next week or so will be hilarious
I am in awe of how fast it is rising, I feel like we need a chart of how many followers you lose after each tweet this week.
the funny thing is, old school followers of yours know this 100% what's happened in Casa Heywood.
god your mentions must be just fucking awful and full of "jokes"
I was about to ask how many followers this got you and how many you were going to lose when they realize this is an AZ dive bar account
Almost five thousand today. I may never gain another follower.
You can never stop.
Pandora's box has already been opened and there was a Peloton bike inside beside the Japanese zen garden.
I've seen a wide variety of accounts I follow retweeting this today too. Truly an eclectic mix. And you made it trending for the US! Congrats. Is this your most viral post so far?
No I had one earlier this month about gender reveals that I had to delete because it was getting ridiculous and I don’t have a SoundCloud
As one of those new followers, please please repost the gender reveal one. 😀
I used the gender reveal tweet in a presentation to clients. It played.
Do I owe you royalties if they make a big purchase now that you deleted it?
You really should apply as a Peloton salesman! You could make zillions!🤣
You’re wrong! I just followed you. Not a verified account though...sorry!
I'm in!
gained me🙋🏼♀️
Annnd done.
Make that 4K plus one
Crying laughing. My family thinks I’m insane. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'm gonna hang around awhile hoping to be both amused and offended
These were great, thanks. I always hated those commercials.
What kind of peasant puts their peloton or status on the ground floor? Lol. Jk 😂
dying😂🤣 read these pelotweets
Nowadays, Frank Lloyd Wright would’ve designed exclusively for a Peloton loving clientele.
Way to rack up the followers!Yera JEENYUS!
If you’re not already a comedy writer, congratulations on the new job(s) offered to you. #comedygold
Lol, I thought these were tweets by @jack I could honestly believe that.
inglenook?
I have a 10-speed in my garage. Does that count?
Sincerely glad that someone's taken the time to take the piss out of these ridiculous adverts
Ha! Says a lot about the gap between the Peloton-class and the middle-class.
Funniest thing I’ve read today.
Really glad to confirm that I'm too poor for a Peloton. I'll just keep eating frozen burritos while hanging clothes on my elliptical.
An elliptical is trash, it's a notch below the pathetic "total body gym"
I hope they send you a Peloton
Best. Feed. Ever.
Thread of the year
I put Schwinn stickers on my Peloton because I don’t want anyone knowing I have that kind of money!
Why did I read all of these?! 😂 for a good laugh.
I am literally the demographic that Peloton is marketing to and my first thought on seeing their commercial was this is elitist crap.
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hahaha this is amazing
I keep my Peloton out in the barn as several of the cows have started working out between milkings. Milk production has climbed as they become contented from the exercise.
This is genius. Thank you for a great Monday laugh.
And a follow!
Those could all be roller shutter doors
😂 Okay, I'm here for architectural suggestions. Bring it, tweeps.
Genius. And this gets you a follow 😊
Anyone else having trouble balancing their Peloton on a hammock between two endangered Pennantia Baylisiana trees? I sometimes worry my wife will fall onto our Rodin sculpture garden below.
Fantastic!
Is this account solely about your so highly affordable everyone's got one peloton bike?
It is now. It used to mostly be about sports and dive bars
Dude I'm following! Lmao
I like to keep mine in pristine condition, in its natural environs, surrounded by nameless, faceless cutouts of people wearing sexy gear. Also, it's classy to have a few lying about, in case friends drop by.
Too high!
6 ft 9 inch Peleton room? Nice.
entire thread is hysterical
This is hilarious
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That was worth every minute of my life it took to read. Officially ☠
OMG 😂🤣😂🤣 How about a Peloton pace line.
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This thread is genius! Thank you
I'm guessing when you discovered one in your garage with your name on it, an obvious Christmas present, that you would wake up at 2:30 a.m. to sneak out every night and ride it?
Brilliant!!!!!
Well played!
Epic thread.... 🧵 👍🏻 #WellPlayed
Yeah, clearly a better architect would've fired themselves. #sorry
whatever this thread is it will be a touchstone for future anthropologists
I would spend up to three (3) hours per day reading these.
Lol, I just bought a Peloton work out shirt and let people’s imaginations run wild about where I live!
All this moving around should have gotten a real bike :)
- follow the peloton threads from @ClueHeywood 😂
My 1998 Schwinn Peloton free to hang out with his girlfriend at the water front.
Rather than spend $ 238 million on a New York Condo I spent $239 million so I could fit my Peloton in properly.
This thread made my day! Who wouldn’t make their Peloton the focal point of any room?
OMG, these type of tweets are why I originally joined Twitter. I stayed for the politics. If not for Trump, I believe our Twitter feeds would be filled with more just like this. Just one more thing Trump ruined for us.
And cats. Lots more cats. In fact, if trump hadn't ruined it, cats would've taken over Twitter by now. I don't mean their pictures and videos...they would actually be in charge.
You mean they're not already in charge?
😂😂 We always said my eldest boy (avi) would be downright dangerous if he ever managed to procure opposable thumbs.
And then one day, he destroyed a laptop by spilling a full mug of hot cocoa on the keyboard. I think he didn't like the screensaver.
Our 2.
That's great! So focused. 😹
I had one who was absolutely fascinated by helicopters on tv. Would sit and stare at them, in news reports or in movies, and as soon as it was gone, he was too. My current three seem to have no interest in such frivolities.
This deserves a follow. 😂😂
Brilliant!
I have a limited edition 1987 Peloton for sale if anyone is interested.
So good.
These suggestions are so bourgeois–none of the riders have airpods.
I have a young billionaire social media magnate friend who hand-carried his Peloton across a rice paddy over a bridge made of the dead bodies of massacred Rohingya so that he could spend a week cycling and meditating at a swanky rural Buddhist temple.
This thread made my day.
If you had a Peloton, you would have an "observatory", a "solarium" and maybe a "kitchen", but if you don't have a "Pelotorium", you should move.
one question though - why are only the ultra fit triathlete looking women's riding? None of those models have given birth
These women don’t birth their children themselves. They have people for that.
Thank you for saving me $3000!
You do realize that the REAL Peloton enthusiast moves their Peloton to their alcoves for better acoustics right? Do you even #Peloton bro?
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this thread. 😁
I don't know. Might not be enough natural light
I want you to know I read every single one and now I just feel like buying a Peloton bike as an art piece
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As a Peloton®️ owner, I can tell they are merely upper middle class based on their usage of imperial and not metric. How proletariat. 🙄
This is stupid.
The post, not the ad.
Unhappy hipsters.
Share the Peloton
I'm dying here. 🤣😂🤣
Bravo, just when I thought memes were going to down the drain, a meme angel among us has arisen. And also, I think the best place to have the bike is sitting dead center in a gym, where they bought it and placed it for me.
No peloton but I do have K9 conditioning equipment and a 1970 Schwinn Cotton Picker stratigraphy placed in the living room.
This thread is brilliant. Tweets of the day without a doubt.
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Thanks for the laughs! Very much needed today. Pure greatness
When you are forced to mingle with us common folks, do you bring a gazebo for safe distance?
This is beautiful.
I'm still mad from when they used the friggin' Ramones for the music in one of their ads.
Notice how everyone in a #peloton ad is already thin and trim and young
Those bikes definitely have a weight limit of 130lbs max!
Feel like y’all would enjoy this.
Those are funny. I keep mine in the Billiards room like any salt-of-the-earth person would.
scroll up. I think you'll enjoy this thread lol
Enjoy doesn't cut it. I've hired a programmer to create a loop of these tweets onto my 400 ft TV wall at my winter home in Keywest where I ride my Paleton not facing the sunset over Cuba.
😂😂😂😂😂
You appear to be an expert. Can you tell me if a Peloton bike will look good in my panic room? It's more cramped than than your yacht - though better appointed.
You should have one in there, you never know how long you have to wait for the all clear
You are hilarious. I think I love you!
Be careful though -too much might cause dehydration and I don’t know if there’s enough room in your panic room for all the Swell bottles you’re going to need.
😂😂😂😂 This thread made my day
It also means “big balls” in Spanish 😜
Really. All the prices included. 🙄🙄🙄🙄...
I mean it IS Brentwood afterall 💁🏻♀️
Haha excellent thread
I love this brand because in Spanish, peloton means "guy with big balls".
Well played.
OJ might not have done it if he had had a Peloton. The energy it releases is real mind soothing and places one in a spiritual place.
OJ should have been driving a Ford Escape instead of a Bronco.
Is there a clothes hanging feature on the handle bars? My recumbent bike was inadequate in that regard. I do not have a Consuela I’m afraid.
Thing is, if you can afford a Peloton bike, you probably have a house just like one of these.
That Peloton looks like those exercise bikes you see at every yard sale!
Bruh why aren’t you tagging them this is amazing
How much does a good mid-teir Peloton cost?
if you have to ask...
Checking Craigslist for a used Peloton right now.
These are so funny..
Oh man, I don't even own a Peloton, just some ordinary stationary bike from Amazon next to all my son's toys and an old couch.
What should I do to fix this embarrassing problem?
The mine field of toys meant to maim me on a daily basis already screams “This dude is a professional athlete” enough as it is.
We don’t always need the icing on the cake.
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You make me want one now, but only if I’m going to have all the adventures like you lol
Beautiful.
Thank you for ALL of this!
Nailed it. 🤣
Honestly I thought you were wealthy until I saw not once trace of an AirPod... disgust
These are so true!!! I always see a Peloton van when I cut through the swanky neighborhoods. The VC money being poured into this must be insane.
You are the hero I’ve been waiting for 🙌🏻🙌🏻
best twitter thread
Lame... mine didn’t come with a penthouse view #reality #nottheirdemographic
No commercial for you.
ok, 1) This was super funny. 2) There will be offendeds. 3)Can I see how you travel with it on top of your G-Class?😂😂😂
Brilliant takedown.
Help! I need tips on getting my Peloton on to my helicopter so I can cycle while I overlook the “non- Peloton owners” as I make my way to my summer home in the Hamptons. Tips?
Not even the leader of the cyclists, but part of the big group.
Can’t believe those idiots aren’t marketing a $3000 indoor cycling bike to middle class America
Life comes at your fast. One minute you are driven to twitter exile for just trying to solve murders, the next you are an international twitter sensation!
It’s a beautiful ride
I use my Peloton bikes as door stoppers at every last one of my homes, yachts,penthouses, and island cottages because I get enough exercise stepping on the throats of contractors I hire, my employees, my customers,and the rest of the little people I despise. What’s in YOUR wallet
You have a ton of Peleton bikes.
Perfect for the anti-social group bicyclist.
where’s yours? 😂
Fitness cycling is best with a group of competitive friends, each riding a Peloton fitness cycle! Really!
With all this talk about walls lately, you've inspired me. What if we build a electrified fence and rig it to generators powered by our Peloton bikes? That way each and every mansion owning American can give back in their own very small way?
Peloton non!
Thank you for this tweet. Their commercials are the worst
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This is the phoniness of America. Poor schmucks coming in the caravan thinks this is the American lifestyle.
You are slaying. As an avid (outdoors! On roads!) cyclist, you can only imagine my cackle-laughs at each brilliant post here.
I just drooled seeing that bike.
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Darrin Stephens of McMann & Tate worked hard on that Peloton campaign dammit!
Thanks for the guffaws! Sometimes, I type LOL & don't really mean it, but I truly LOL'd at ur Peloton series.
This is my favorite 😆
Like where all the trailer park peloton’s at??!! Lol
I was very close to exercising outside today but my @onepeloton called to me from the study and asked me to stay reclusive.
They’re all very clever. Thanks!
this is funny
This has certainly filled the void left by Beto Blog ban.
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Hey, @lovinlifemarie or lovingPelotonmarie, this thread is so damn 🤣😂🤣
Put my Peleton next to the rabbit hutch so the bunnies could see they aren’t the only ones busy.
I used to put my Peloton bike at the top of my stairs so I felt like I was on the top of a mountain. Until it vibrated over the edge w me on it. So now I’m back using my old Matrix, until it’s fixed. But will never ride again without proper protection.
When I finally get my peloton bike I’m gonna parallel park that beautiful bitch between my Chuck Norris Total Gym and my VHS collection of Sweating to the Oldies!!!
This Peloton placement is throwing off the room’s Feng Shui. Better hire a consultant.
Never knew i needed to mute Peloton Bike.
I'm almost done ok
It’s not ok. Stay indoors, i see what patios do to you.
I am dead
This may be his finest work, other than the 68 Coors Lights
Wait! Where?
The resemblance to my own life and homes is uncanny.
Yer ona roll!!!
this thread lmao!
Incredible! So you don't care if I put the Peloton where the coffee table is in the living room! Alternatively, I could move the kitchen table to the hallway and post up there too. Whatever you think.
Never leave the table when you’re on a heater
Says the guy who leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair.....
Is there a local Peloton riders club in my area?How would I get in touch with them?
They’re going to reach out to you now and give you a free Peloton. Prepare thyself. 😬
Thanks for the laugh.
I didn’t see a single one being used as a clothes rack. You are so out of touch! ;)
Three bean tortilla soup with Pelaton?
You will become immortal.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😎
This thread is 🔥
It's NOT a "bike," you barbarian! 😏
So true
And if anyone was serious about using these bikes they would get the fit right
The ones in the pics are set up to go 5 mins to the shops
“soup recipe I downloaded from Goop”. Someday that kid of hers is gonna slit her throat for a bag of Doritos and a Hot Pocket.....
Great thread, funny.
Thank you for your service
This is so unrealistic.
There is no space for a cool down with a glass of merlot.
😂😂😂😂
WELL DONE. 👏👏
This Peloton thread is hilarious. I’m going to install one at the top of my converted Alaska lighthouse so I can watch for Russian Submarines while I workout.😋
'veganism is elitist meme'
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and get your home and auto bundle from @progressiveinsu
That’s so nice of you to lend your peloton out to all these people.
OMG THIS IS THE LIFESTYLE I ASPIRE TO HAVE! 😂😂
Griswold neighbors?
feeling so Gwyneth today!
Lol but I would gladly take one in my nice average house. 😍
But is it gluten, dairy and soy free and the beans grown locally?
I put mine in the back of my pickup truck and have Jeeves drive me around the grounds.
😂😂😂 love it
Oh My God....Goop...make me gag....LOL !
Do you cook while riding?
I just snort laughed my way thru this thread. Bravo.
Ooooh. That looks like a decent recipe!
Did you steam your Vage First?
Only with the finest of jade eggs.
So sad! Is the au pair is on holiday?
A friend sent these to me and I'm crying. Thank you @ClueHeywood. You are saving our souls with your #Peloton roasts.
Amazing man! Great work!
Omg this is the best 😂😂😂
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Awesome tweets bro!!!! That shitz priceless.
Hilarious. I'm literally crying reading these tweets
Me too!!!!!
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So good
Don’t forget to take your $90 “Balls In the Air” vitamins with. No pun. They actually exist.
Balls in the Air
This antioxidant-rich (beta-carotene, vitamin C, and vitamin E) regimen plays defense so you can play offense, ensuring that all systems not only run...
shop.goop.com
great account.
LOL! hey I kinda want that life too!
I attached wheels and an electric motor to my peloton with hydrogen backup motor so I can multi task overachieving like a true winner
This is so me, but mine have clothes. lol
Bruhhh. Where are the power cords!!!
My Pelotons are all one time use then I throw them out off the balcony
I like that the loft also has a loft.
Goop! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I laughed so hard my vagina egg fell out
That’s really weird. I’m kind o glad you can’t reproduce now
I just did a few quasi standing "push ups" by holding onto the handle of my oven while warming up some tortillas, so we're totally on the same page.
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I love everyone here. Bahahahahaaa
My morning spin on my Peloton is all the motivation my neighbors need to get up and out in the morning.
thank you for your service
Clue paints his masterpiece
Mine is next to windows so I can make my neighbors feel bad about being lazy.
Absolutely brilliant thread
Ditto...thanks for retweeting this gem Smug.
I don't think you can top this thread. God-damned hilarious.
Congrats Clue! Yer trending!
*Only thing
This is everything.
This is the exact reason why Twitter sucks... who cares, why is this trending and how is it news worthy? Get your stuff together Twitter...
Haha if i could afford a peloton I’d put it on the roof of my new electric Tesla and ride it around town w the music blasting at 5am to let everyone that “I’ve arrived”
Would you hook it up to the battery for clean energy?
The battery runs off her self important chi
You win.
We don't give a shit about your overpriced bicycle!
You’re killing me!! 😂
Hahahahahajajajajajajajakaka!
Perhaps he understands COMPLETELY
My favorite, pretty sure I agree
Wow, I have these doors in my house!
I don't know if at 40 years old.....I've ever agreed with anything more than this thread....
You forgot to mention...
*wig and extensions not incl..
This is my favorite!!! 😆
I am dying at these tweets!!! Damn right I’ll save my peloton first!!!!
I’m not alone!
No girl, you’re not alone!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼
Me too!!
Favorite one was with an actual bike hanging up on the wall next to the Peloton Bike.
Your husband's reading of Architectural Digest has definitely helped him 😂
Wow, this is so me ....and there is nothing wrong with that at all !
Nothing like having a floor to ceiling window with an amazing view over the city but staring at an iPad-sized image of an isolated desert road while you exercise.
Blocked and reported to @onepeloton
No please, my summer villa is still under construction
You could have easily found a suitably picturesque space on your yacht, or private jet, or winter chalet. No excuse for laziness. Tell your staff to do better.
I laughed so hard at every single one of these.
Why bother putting a TV screen on the thing when you put it infront of an amazing view?
Could we be related?
Personally I hate cluttering my beautiful home with my Peleton, which is why I had to sell my apartment and buy a home with a 2 car garage, just to have enough room for our his and her peletons
you put...you put your Peleton in a GARAGE?
I prefer to think of it as my peleton sanctuary. The previous family did use it for cars. I just street park my jag.
oh my god yes. This is it: when one has surpassed the ethereal peloton to be enshrouded with the gold aura emanating from the fabled Yellow Jersey of Wellness
Skyline wasn’t cutting it - I opt for the dusty road between Mesquite Nevada and St George Utah every day of the week.
i do believe this would be the peloton room... the living room is downstairs?
You can tell that commercial targets women. If it were targeted at guys, the Peloton in all of those pictures would be facing a 72"+ flat screen TV with Dolby Surroundsound speaker system blasting basketball. And there would be 2 cup holders w/ craft beers in each.
What couch?
How long per day do you spend on it? Nice looking bike BTW.
Pretty sure they tortured Morpheus in that room.
FAKE! This is not a @onepeloton -- but rather something from the same guy that designed the Peloton bike. It deserves to be in the basement, next to an unused rowing machine. Imposter.
Exclusive: SoulCycle and Peloton Designer Eric Villency Debuts a Revolutionary New Fitness Bike
Eric Villency, creator of the SoulCycle and Peloton fitness bikes, unveils a new, more advanced model made in collaboration with Chicago's Studio Three.
forbes.com
IDENTITY THEFT IS NO JOKE
The only time I’d buy @onepeloton is if I’ve☝️ this view.
You had me at Peloton 👏
is there no thread on the special shoes you need to buy for these pelotons
Losers. That’s who.
That fence seems a lil low
what is this pleb bike and why isn’t it even a Cervello C5? what a fred, honestly
Finishing the sentence for you... Who on earth spends more time on their couch than on their Peloton bike when they can have an immense view they don’t use blocked by the big horkin’ TV which obstructs said view anyway?
What do I do with company?
Who can't ride and talk at the same time?
I have a similar placement in the NY pied-a-terre, but I had auto-dimming windows installed so the glare from outside didn’t make the screen hard to see. Do it, you’ll thank me.
It brings me joy.
It.
Alone.
Brings me joy.
Sadly on my recent trip to keynote at Davis I was unable to take mine because of a space limitation on the flight. If you know anyone who wants to buy a slightiy used Gulfstream G4 please tell me. Thx.
I actually found a place, in real life, that put their #Peloton in front of the window facing the beach.
#MissionBeach
You might enjoy Mark and the idiotic Chevrolet commercials..
If "Real People" Commercials Were Real Life - CHEVY Malibu Ad
What if those annoying "Real people. Not Actors" commercials were actually real life? original video for reference https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW7i-oUHvA0
youtube.com
This is terrorism.
And yet, they are all focused on the damn screen, view and risers not needed.
Dan Snyder had a yacht built around his Peloton.
This is my Fav
You might ask why the windows in front of these Pelotons are so small. Unfortunately space on the yacht is limited and the gym is near the waterline. We manage.
Thoughts and prayers 🙄🤣
Sounds like you are really roughing it. Time for a new Yacht?
Thoughts and Prayers
This is my favorite - didn’t see where it was going based on the picture. 😂😂😂😂
Suffer the children.
We manage 😂😂😂😂
My favorite so far!
First world problems. 😂
This one made me laugh hard
I’m loving this #peloton thread. There’s a @onepeloton shop opposite my office in Marylebone High Street and it always seems empty?
You didn’t say we would be looking at poor peoples peleton setups in this thread.
😂😂😂 I could really just cry... The sacrifices... So sad.
If you don’t have an Eames chair for a guest to watch you on your Peloton you have failed at life.
@SonshiCom And I thought that padded Target folding chair was IT.
Hilarious 😂 😂😂
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Fuck you peloton! Ahahahaha.
My husband’s Peleton may be in the basement by small window, but we do have an authentic McDonald’s Hamburglar to keep it safe and inspire him to pedal faster.
You are hilarious!! Made my day🌝
😂 we manage
Best one...because very unexpected 😂
“We manage.” 😂😂😂
Passionate about Biking in place
I laughed so hard at this I snorted. Then woke my husband up. #welldone
I have that problem too!!! Or I try to hold the laughter in and start shaking so bad because I’m laughing so hard that I wake him up by shaking part of him!
If you were on a Peloton, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
how is your yacht visibility?
You might ask why the window in front of our Peloton is so small. Unfortunately, space in the house is limited so we shoved this horse in our garage/gym.
I identify with the people in Peloton commercials because I, like them, live in the house from Ex Machina
I love that this guy is wearing the special locking bike shoes....in his own bedroom
Can't speak for that guy, and I don't have a peleton, but I do wear the stupid shorts when I ride on a trainer, indoors. They have a butt pad, and prevent chafing.
As I wear those stupid shorts, be glad I spare you and ride indoors sometimes.
“Architectural corners? Those are for the simple poors.”
All these fitness models have the “oh god i think im gonna puke deep breaths deep breaths” look down pat
I have a Peloton but I’d really like the ones in all the promotional pictures where you don’t need to plug it in to a power outlet for the screen to work
Duh. The rich get the wireless peloton with air charging.
Damn those rich people !! Are they the ones who’s cars they show in the adverts in the mountains with no snow over them aswell ?
Those are the ones. Their cars melt the snow ahead of them.
Must be the same people in toothpaste commercials who never look like rabid dogs with foam coming out their mouths, but somehow keep all the foam civilized inside their mouths.
And who never have the dried morning slob around their face - oh wait is that just me !!
You didn’t get the Giligan edition that is pedal powered.
They're powered by the envy of people who can't afford one
It has to be plugged in?! Guess I’ll be staying with my rigged up cheapo bike with an iPad and Peloton app longer than I thought 🤔
those models are designed to convert the ambient CO2 and smug into electricity. It is smug, right ... ? that haze concentrated around L.A. county 🤔🤔 😏
@AnthonyLiuzza
YES!! Bravo 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💪🏼😏
Wait. They're NOT powered by something renewable like... say... human pedaling? 🤨
I was thinking the same thing.
You mean you don't have the pedal-powered edition?
Holy crap! I just had to look at the whole thread again. You're so right!!!
The top of the range models are powered by pedal power. They come supplied with a mexican chap who has his own bike and cycles away in the garage (out of sight) and the electricity generated is sent to the main bike via wifi. #nowyouknow
this is you
i would never ever buy this. Nordic Trac 4.0 is like all other Nordic Tracs before...not for me
What's that knob on the bike? Also, what does that red thing do?
Sweat would warp the hardwood floors, for reals... He should put it on a Persian rug....
Why is it these people using the Peloton don't look like they need it? Where are the 320-pound slobs who care barely drag their carcasses of the couch? Why aren't they using it in their living room in Armpit Falls WV in a shack, littered with beer cans and candy wrappers?
Armpit Falls gave me the best laugh!
Well he’s currently in hospital having his left leg amputated due to diabetes... but I’m sure when he’s out he’ll one leg it on the Peleton..
Because they don’t have $3,000 to spend on one. And I think their weight may exceed its weight limit.
While on a conference call.
I had a Peloton once. My dog decided to lift his leg on it. BOOM! Eight guys with laser guns dropped out of the sky and busted through all my windows at once like Minority Report. Long story short I’m no longer allowed to own a Peloton 🤷♀️
No way man, this dude is only staying at the top 5* hotels that include a Peloton by the giant bay windows overlooking downtown.
It’s not plugged in!
"Look at those plebs biking *to work*! Instead of pretending to bike before taking the towncar to the spa!"
And drip sweat all over my hand-scraped teak-inlaid white oak floors imported from Indonesia and Bavaria.
Dude these are exceptional
Riding my Peleton bike with my view of Avengers Tower is really inspiring. I hope Thor notices me one day.
Whoever you are, you’re my favourite person on Twitter
I have a killer view. Unbelievable. I prefer to stare at a screen with a virtual spin class.
When do you work?
People? Last I checked PEOPLE had money. Those are peasants...
*continues enjoying a life free of paying a fair share in taxes*
Now that i’m interacting with you, this is being fed to me. FWIW, my wife @Schmittastic really wants a Peloton bike 😂
Oops, there goes $2100!
Is this an actual excerpt from American Psycho??? 😭
i imagine this is how you have your Peloton bike setup 😝
This thread made my day, you hit on the exact reasons why those Peloton commercials bugged me lol. Really enjoyed watching them get roasted!
"Wew den Peweton, yew smeshed et!" 😑
you’re the only reason I know what this is. Love you bro!
(No comment)
Crying
maybe I should clean up the toy room so our bike stands!
This Peleton should be rescued, and given to a better owner. I have a well lit atrium, but with no stationary object in it's center, much like a hole in my heart.
Here’s mine. Stunning view of my sump pump cabinet and old ratty furniture collection.
Dat Kirby, doe
Hank, you really should open your blinds so your Peleton can soak up the sun.
It’s in the basement. That window opens to a escape pit in case of fire!
The horror Hank, the horror. #FreeHanksPeloton
Is that a Kirby vacuum cleaner? If so, WINNER!
Mine’s in my basement, too.😂😂😂
If only that lamp were a Christmas Story Major Award lamp....
There's a window in front of it, and no doubt the washer and dryer are just behind it, making it easier to hang clothes on
Is that...the circuit breaker? Riding the peloton and being able to be right there in case a fuse blows is peak convenience
But I had to hardwire my Peloton into the breaker box because with all of the hours I spend on it, it consumes more energy than any one outlet could possibly supply.
which one of you is this? UNACCEPTABLE
I had to look up"inglenook"smarty pants!
damn. real life
I only peloton outside
What's more important, the Peloton or the Peloton placement?
If you have to ask....
lol...
Honestly it seems more like the photo of the Peloton in your amazing house, is all that matters.
Don't let the UPS delivery person leave, cause it's going back!
GD communism
If your Peloton overlook does not meet Washingtonian Magazine’s definition of breathtaking then you have voided the warranty and your Peloton is subject to repossession by the manufacturer.
"RUMPUS ROOM" makes me giggle 🤣
Wait. It doesn't come with a floor to ceiling glassed penthouse?
And not looking out over the canyon, ski slope, or ocean
I would put mine anywhere it would fit
Oh my God, is that a rumpus room??!
IT’S FACING THE BREAKER!! THIS SO UNPELOTONIAN!!
Please!! DELETE DELETE!! Very difficult for me to see beloved Peloton treated in this manner!! I most go rest now...
Where I film porn movies and then take a break on my peloton.
Hmm...must be circuit training
“inglenook” 😂
The only time this is acceptable is while it’s hiding, and being secretly ridden by the giftee, and awaiting to be given as a gift and then placed in the proper spot.
That Peloton bike should be confiscated by the Overpriced and Overprivileged Police Squad (‘OOPS!’) for an unacceptable usage & placement infraction. #shameful 😂
Rumpus
Room.
😵
No way to live.
Gross
Tres ghetto
(No comment)
Someone actually bought one!?
We had our human staff put the Peloton in the basement near the litter box. That way they’re forced to actually clean it if they want their workout to be a less ‘aromatic’ experience.
Those cats faces though!!!! 😺😺 😄💕
"Sigh... WHY doesn't our human have a solarium to put this thing in? Why is it in our space?
Why didn't they spend all that money on cat treats for us? Or a Cat Genie? Or a solarium? Did we mention treats for us??
OMG those cats are so sarcastic about fitness goals
Facing the breaker panel!
What kind of animals are these?
Yes, you should hang something, a painting or false picture with a view.
How do you ride that thing looking at a wall
(No comment)
I at least have mine facing out and not directly at the wall, but I do have it placed in the corner very similar to this.
Plus if you shake your sweat onto that breaker box it could short out your Peloton requiring you to go outside.
Is the view, gasp, a fuse box? Not an ocean sunset or wooded glen?
I have been texting Peloton corporate for years telling them that they need to raise their prices, just so "riff raff" like this doesn't have a chance to tarnish their good name.
Plus I don't want to own an exercise bike "normal" people can afford, ew!
this entire thread 😹😹😹
Haha i love this and saw it a while back!! 🤣 but I am never on twitter (unless IG is down 🤣) and missed you sending it to me till now!!
I'm pretending I understand Twitter.
Which is where the damn thing will end up after 1 use.....
That’s because it’s a stolen Peloton.
Obviously some cheap Chinese knockoff. Where the hell are the impossibly lean fit and chipper women and chiseled six-pack men joyously picking up the pace with a stupid smile on their faces?
...next to an electrical box...😲
Inglenook! LOL!
Cannot stop laughing at rumpus room!! I can't afford anything more than the digital app so i prop my tablet up on a folding table in front of my Amazon special generic bike and try not to hit the blinds covering the window to my left when I grab my TJ Maxx weights. #fancy
Sounds like me when I do yoga!🤣
Did you really get an Amazon bike?
This person probs wears earphones..... WITH WIRES! 😱
It could be a rumpus room, maybe.
(Possibly sensitive)
Terrible and offensive Photoshop job; everyone knows the Peloton bike casts no shadow!
The government should confiscate the bike and throw you in jail. No Peloton bike should be forced to live like this!
This is only acceotable if the butler is assembling it for you in the basement before carrying it up to the solarium.
I'm a midwesterner, so if I could afford $2000+ for a bike that doesn't go anywhere, I would put it in the basement where it'd be sure to be damaged by the annual spring flooding. Nothing says bougie like bragging to your neighbors about insurance payouts.
If you can't devote an entire solarium to a single Peloton, then don't even bother.
I don’t own a Peloton bike. Looking for “rumpus room” ideas on Pinterest...
I don't have enough rooms to start inventing new names for rooms.
Accoutrement!
Like a nice rug it really ties the room together
Promo code “Clue”?
Also wondering how they managed to turn the screen on without plugging the bike in?
I’m laughing so hard, I just spent 90 minutes on my Peloton in my shitty basement.
Notice the cord that plugs in the bike which no one tells you about.
"Then I put my Peloton bike right in the middle of it." #classic
I’m dying omg hlep 😭
For Gods sakes. “Mid century modern” is a goddam ranch house. 🙄
Perfect!
"won't it scratch the floors?"
"I'm more worried the floors might scratch my Peloton"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It ties the whole room together and gives it that "d'Ouchy" vibe that is so difficult to achieve without just the right piece.
That would be a good third of Palo Alto Eichlers.
This thread is gold. Apparently, they plastered over the fireplace when they meticulously remodeled the midcentury modern.
My Peloton bike is considered "minimalist."
Gorgeous. Nice work hiding the power cord. I assume that your architect upgraded the floor with inductive charging 100% sourced from conflict-free solar panels. That’s the route we went...
This thread is beyond funny. Well done
I don't even know who you are anymore
I was going to show a picture of our Peloton bike but my wife backed over the unpacked box with our Lambo on the way to Dunkin Donuts.
(No comment)
This reminds me of the McConaughey “boner” thread by @Mobute
Clue this is incredible
My fave
I’ve been laughing my ass off all night at these. Refreshing everyone 10 minutes. Keep it going!!
Sometimes, they have to learn the Peloton way.
Opened up Twitter to this thread. Not quite sure how I feel about it. I want to ask you wtf you are doing with your life then I thought back to Friday when I sent my sister a steady stream of Blue Ivy memes...carry on Clu @joepriceesq
Great topic tonight bud. Perfect piñata to blast. 💥 🍭
Did you put it in her pooper tho?
this one is my favourite purely because there's an actual bike right there and she could take that little shit for a ride too, it'd maybe make him play up less because he's actually doing something interesting.
it doesn't have pedals on it.... but an indoor trainer would be cheaper.
It has click pedals, so you need special shoes.
I know what those pedals are, they just didn't look like they were attached from the angle & size of photo.
In front of an actual bike!
like a $10k bike too
This definitely looks like @JessicaChobot. Guessing the bike hanging belongs to her husband, @blairherter.
Gotta get him an updated photo. I've a few bikes that are way cooler than that one and, ya know, internet points and stuff
I can’t breathe OMG 🤣🤣🤣
Hey @JessicaChobot apparently you're the nanny? 🤣🤣
Is it her? I thought it might be! 😭
Yeah, she's on @blairherter's bike. So rude! 🤣
Jessica owns everything...I just use some things more than she does;)
HA I meant the tweet in that thread was rude, not Jess using the bike. Lets be serious, she's the boss over there.
I wanna know what they bought from @canyon_bikes with that bag in the corner.
🧙♀️🙇🙈
Absolutely creepy
Yay they'll let me work out -nanny
Poor little boy. He knows the beating starts when the bike exercise is over.
Like I'm going to let Nana ruin my goal stats as top dog. I would have to ride an extra 30 minutes a day to offset her slow ass.
Sometimes I punish her by making her ride the real bike ...outside.
Wait don’t do my girl @JessicaChobot like that. 😂
Damn nannies
But Mommy I want to ride a real bike!
Gotta keep the nanny tight
you made it, nanny!
You just savaged peloton! This thread need to be unrolled and pinned somewhere
just get some rollers for the Specialized on the wall.
the bike on the wall doesn't seem to have pedals, though, so maybe the peloton is best there.
This is the best one so far!
LOL, this is the best one -- and for the ad agency, WHY was this a good idea😂?!
this wasn't an ad but I couldn't pass it up
The real bicycle having on the wall is pure inspiration, I’d imagine. You go!
No comment on real bike hanging on wall or did I miss something?
The actual fucking bike just hanging on the wall is my absolute favorite part of this whole thread
Sometimes I work out in front of my old real bike to shame it's uselessness
OMG. I didn't even notice the small child at first. WTAH, Peloton?
If you zoom in that's the same orange umbrella stand the guy with the turquoise peacock uses
HAHAHAHAHAHA
...white people disciplining kids???
Lol for a split second I thought that Peloton was poppin a wheelie, as a disciplinary measure
What’s that thing on the wall behind her?
Is that Courtney Love
Or a tired Angelina Jolie
ahh...
“No. I don’t know what that is on the wall. I’m sure it’s one of my pieces of priceless art.”
Never noticed the child recresting Blair Witch final scene.
😂😂😂 You absolutely deserve an award for these tweets.
that specialized bike, though
I vote this is the best one. I cackled
The one with he child in time out
I love that the actual mountain bike is hanging behind the peleton
Is this @JessicaChobot ?
Seconded. @JessicaChobot - thatchu?
Aw gawd, good one! That's so nice of you.
My fav. Thing about this one is the @iamspecialized bike on the wall and the @canyon_bikes bag on the ground... in case anyone wants to actually ride a bike 🚲
Dang she looks exhausted on that Peloton bike.
Dude, can't get enough of these, cracking me up! 😂
p.s. the vegan one was the best
Forget the real bike on the wall I will just ride this fake one.
That poor boy looks like he is about to be victim to the Blair Witch. 😧
What have I just read?
Marketing mate. #marketing
Photo briefs are wild.
I see an actual bicycle has been shot, stuffed and mounted for display on the wall.
Our exclusive Peloton to Tesla direct charging system is back in stock! v2.0 features our new "valet" mode, now household staff can pedal and charge but cannot access any features of your Peloton or car
Why didnt you go to the Royal Rumble?
Decent tickets were $130 each and its now on hour five of storylines I wouldn’t know much less care about. It would’ve been a novelty thing and the novelty would’ve worn off by now.
I gotta tell you, I was really looking forward to the tweets.
Yeah I know. The people watching would’ve been incredible. But I’d be so bored after a while.
Sounds like a 30 for 30
What if I told you
That one man at the Royal Rumble
Cared more about entrant number 71
Than entrant number 30
what if I told you
the real Royal Rumble
took place in Clue Heywood's stomach
"All you can see" is this magnificently beautiful wonder of mankind ingenuity? Don't you mean you GET to see the Peloton bike?!?!
As the Pelotonic screen clearly states, this is what the Wu Tang would want me to do.
Peloton is for the children
So much better to see the woods you NEVER ski in...
Also, has anyone seen my Wu Tang records?
This is my favorite... Because I love that view and yes, I'd have a useless exercise implement in that window thinking it would inspire me to exercise. I'm that stupid. Thank God I'm poor...
I pray to the Goddesses every day, while I commune on my peloton, thanking them that you are poor. Blessed be, my sister.
😬😬😬😬🥶🥶🥶🥶
GET OUT AND SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Now I really want one and that view I just left an amazing view on the Smoky’s.
It's totally like flying with E.T. over the treetops.
Peloton: like riding a bike, but without the scenery or solitude and with the added bonus of making whatever room you put it in smell like a sweat sock
Peloton in Davos?
😂😂😂 I can't even 😂😂😂
Such a brilliant way to improve your view from the living room set!
That bar cart sucks
Just there to remind us that brown liquor is keto
Hell yeah baby!!! My first full Peloton boner!!! Whooo!!!!
The peacock is actually his god.
That's ceramic!
That made my giggle
You forgot the caption for this one. This is 100% real by the way "Peloton owner Steve Martocci says he plans to move his bike to an empty water tower this summer, just so he can project the videos onto the 18-foot cylindrical walls."
Water tower for Peloton > water tower for water #winning
Looks like Patrick Bateman's apartment.
That liquor cart, though!
What is this in USD? Asking for a friend.
fourseasonsliverpool.co.uk/product/retro-…
if you have to ask...
I didn’t know mark ruffalo has one!
Lost it at turquoise peacock
His face tells me he’s already hit that fully-stocked mini bar.
And if you knew what Peloton implies in Spanish—it just makes these tweets and pics all the more hilarious!
I can also easily access the fully laden bar while I’m spinning my brains out half in the bag !
Is there another place to put your turquoise marble peacock? I mean WTH?
Frankly, this guy looks like he has worse troubles as those irons in that orange thing appear to be working their way up his arse. Could that be the source of the angst on his face?
That guy parties.
That cart of booze though...
Yooo even the dude in this picture laughed at that.😂
Is this @robdelaney trying to cycle away from his sons Fnord and Krales?
Those peacocks make great fire starters! Really!
Looks like he’s watching The Good Place on his display. It’s very funny.
who is this man? he is not your husband
Is that a TV set above the fireplace? That's the weirdest part of this, tbh
Its the up-cycled bar-cart from Flea Market Flip! A steal at ONLY $650!
Okay it's official. You're my new favorite account to follow, love your Tales From the Peloton-iverse appearing on my TL in the last hour.
OMG 😆😆
Sure has a lot of booze in there, on a wheeled cart for those wild nights too!
hahaha this is brilliant!
I remember, one time, at Peloton Camp...
I think the peacock you had in your fireplace when you took this picture was a bad idea 😂
This is just making me want a peloton
Look at the way he’s laughing to himself. He must be really happy on that Peloton bike.
I totally have that peacock statue! I bought it at At Home!
Could you also please roast them for their embarrassing “launch” in Canada?
Wow! Manitoba—peloton capital of Canada :)
You go, @onepeloton, Rock that Canadian shipping!
I’m dead.
The peacock 😂😂😂
Dont forget about cooling down with one of the THOUSANDS OF BOTTLES OF BOOZE on that tiny booze cart
The smell
Uh oh looks like the unkempt hubbo has distastefully tossed his Lexus SUV keys on the couch. But perhaps he just is anxious to read the important thick books on the coffee table.
They are important vintage books that I bought at pottery barn
Nah, she broke into the house using keys she found on the street, just to ride the peleton bike.
Hahaha like a poor!
OMG, someone else calls it an 'arcadia door'. I feel validated.
This is the SUPER FANCY version that does not even need a plug
I knew you were from AZ before I checked your bio. Dead giveaway? “Arcadia door” 🌵✨🌞
yep. Can't call it a sliding glass door. Doesn't have that Arcadia cache.
Right next to a $2000 Crate and Barrel Petrie sofa. Don't ask me how I know that 👀👀
Not fresh air! 😂
The commercial that makes me die inside is the one where her kids wake up smiling as she finishes his workout, not during her workout screaming that she stop and make them breakfast....I guess if I buy one my kids wouldn't be as shitty 🤔 #richpeoplehaveeverything
The nanny already fed the kiddos, silly!!
Too bad about that hole in the ceiling from that one time I stood up 😏
In other words, the bike is over priced and disproportionately caters to ultra wealthy individuals as a status symbol.
I`ll be sure to wave as I ride by !
This level of haterism got exhausting a few tweets ago
Peloton is evidence that we are losing our minds as a society.
Looks great. Enjoy the ride.
Its a beautiful day outside for a bike ride, on my Peloton.
where do you have yours setup?
In the spare bedroom of the rented house
Lmao i mean anyone who can afford one of those probably lives like that😂😂😂
Architectural Digest is actually where I get my inspiration for various places to put my Peloton Bike
Exactly. Stunning new places to put my exercise equipment in.
Maybe later I'll photoshop some sort of depraved pornograpgy onto her little screen.
That’s the inspiration she needed
Tom has been such an inspiration to many of us.
This is the winner
Jeff Goldblum's wife can do as she pleases buddy
Right??!
Anything except draw his gaze, apparently. Although he may actually have compound eyes still...
Slacker husbands in the background are one of my favorite things about these ads, maybe more than the improbably pretty surroundings.
That’s ridiculous! Everyone knows half gay, combat booted husbands read Dwell.
Interestingly this is the only one I've seen the power cord in so far.
this one's epic! 😂😂💜
(No comment)
You are a gem
Its close, but this one is the best of the thread.
You mean: Will have Consuela move...
This is a really fun thread, Clue
Seems like you have a problem with Jeff Goldblum???
Thats jeff goldblum pal
Indoors! On a rug! Right next to my off-white sectional! Get your Jeff Goldblum looking ass outta here with your boots on!
lololol
Half gay...I think u mean bike curious
Nah, dude. He's Randy Rainbow gay
isn't that Jeff Goldblum?
yes and half gay is a reference to The Life Aquatic, my Peloton jokes have layers man
I need another cup of coffee and will reread thoughtfully
That is 100% Alistair Hennessey
I’m following you Clue so that I may improve my life
😂😂😂😂😂 I’m so here for this. Thank you!
I knew it!! Should have been part hay though, not half.
Everyone gets a Glock.
Lmao wow. 🤣
This is the best one
Bravo
Woah, woah, woah. I like AD.
Omg...😂😂😂😂
I love you. I truly do.
He has 4 layers on, while she's in tights.
Or he's Jeff Goldblum
Jesus Christ
This one got me! HAHAHAHA
ok, I kinda giggled at this one. "half gay" is awesome.
Is the background of app a Doom scenario? Nice motivation!
You're killing me here! 🤣😂🤣
Actually I think that's Jeff Goldblum
$3k bespoke combat boots from London.
My god, this is good.
This when was my favorite
I’m dying reading these comments. Funniest thread ever...
My friend has a Peloton bike positioned right on the precipice of his outside Japanese garden and I put that thing right between my legs and rubbed my stank all over it.
I'm looking forward to the influx of Pelotons on craigslist once the final payment is made. "Used once. $4995"
Are we sure that isn't Jeff Goldblum?
Lmao, that's what I was thinking 😂
this thread omg so funny
That's actually a one room pop-up gym where the gentleman is patiently waiting for his turn on their timeshare peloton bike.
Your lack of trendy peloton knowledge is appalling.
dont appreciate you throwing shade at jeff goldblum like that.
this one is my fav
That's her Dad. She's my (coastal) gf.
What does that ladder behind your couch go up to?
the library
That’s not her husband. It’s Jeff Goldblum.
I’m not retweeting this because you didn’t refer to the husband as bi-sexual. ‘Half-gay’ is a slur much like ‘half-dead’ is. I am serious.
Pro tip: Don’t hate on the boots-he has it going on like a false tax return. I’m serious
What’s the non-problematic way to refer to someone who is equally dead and alive?
Of course he reads Architectural Digest. He's looking for ideas on where to put the Peleton.
Is this anyone's aspirational household?
I think it is if you're like, you know, a yuppie or whatever we call this cohort these days.
I sure hope not. A clearer picture of "parallel play" was probably never planned.
What is she watching on that screen? Someone squatting?
Dog, is that Jeff Goldblum? I didn't know he had halfsies of a Peloton!
I thought he was reading peer reviews about his acting on Trivago commercials?
He's bisexual, and you were fine with that when you married him, you passive-agressive endorphin junky.
I just hate that word so I made up the other one
It’s subtly different from bisexual. Very useful word.
Which half - top or bottom?
Whoa! They actually bothered to plug this one into a power outlet 😂
If she doesn’t have a mat or towel under that bike to protect her wide-plank walnut floors from sweat damage, I’m cancelling her insurance
She should get some Quick-Step laminate.
I’m at work and laughing out loud. This is especially awkward since I’m HR. Someone should call me.. about myself.
The best HR is a fun HR. 😁😅🥳
I'm done.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😅
Wait, which half?
you have to try to find out
Best. Thread. Ever. Thank you for the reprieve.
*half gay 😭😭😭
I’m crying
Literally just spit out coffee 😂😂😂
(No comment)
Wait when did you marry Jeff Goldblum
...wait that's Jeff Goldblum right?
Har dee har, in an entirely pejorative thread, “half-gay” sure reads like a backhanded slur. Do better.
you really understand satire don’t you
sorry, did peloton call someone half-gay first, as if it’s either a) a thing to be mocked or b) a thing at all
you have a peloton don’t you
I’m deeply offended as well. Everyone knows it’s called half a fag.
That’s Kyle in the ad
this could be us while we wait for @PessJercival to get back from her trombolise lessons but you playin
Bahahaha
That is not Jeff Goldblum and my God, did they murder Muffkins and use her as a couch rug???
I can’t even You are amazing 😉
I so seldom comment anywhere, but this little riff, in context with the entire thread, was brilliant. 😂🤣
Half gay husband looks like Jeff Goldblum. 😭
😂😂 these buffoons in the ads are something else!
I had no idea Jeff @jeffreygoldbIum was doing Peloton ads.
Ok - This one WINS!
You mean that's not Jeff Goldblum?
Hey! That's @jeffreygoldbIum you're making fun of...!! Foul!
This one
lmfaooooooo
You "half gay" husband looks like Jeff Goldblum.
Half?
LOL HAHAHA
With Peloton bike you can seamlessly swap out spouses and throw pillows.
She got the second half of the gay husband 🤣😂🤣
This one wins the Internet. We are done now.
Best one!
Don't be jelly.
Her husbands model is being developed in Peleton board rooms right now
🙌🏼🙌🏼😂😂🤣🤣💀
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Honestly though @JoJOBrien11 "my half-gay husband" is a future you statement and I'm dead
c'mon. You know Jeff Goldblum doesn't like architecture. #lowblow
this feed 🤣😂
Is the gay half the one reading "Architectural Digest"? Or it the half wearing combat boots?
Which part is the gay part? Combat boots or AD?
😂 U’re killing me
Her: “(Pant) I want (pant) a divorce (pant), Tristan.”
Him: “Mmm-Kay.” “So, sushi tonight or Indian?”
Under rated tweet
Still giggling....
I thought that was Jeff Goldblum
They were so preoccupied with if they could put the Peloton in the basement they didn't stop to think if they *should*.
Could be! Or is this your evil twin with a preference for debatable shoewear @jeffreygoldbIum? twitter.com/ClueHeywood/st…
Sometimes I’ll move the Peloton bike into our gallery so I can spend time with my half gay husband while he reads Architectural Digest wearing combat boots
Ha! Great minds! I said the same thing!
It's not working. He looks too metrosexual. I know! Combat boots! Yeah.
This tweet and this entire thread 😂
I know where you can put your Peloton.
Half gay🤣😂🤣😂
Is it bad that I aspire to be this husband? 😂😂😂
When they come for the Peloton owners
This is the .Apartments.com / Pelaton crossover Marvel has been trying to get Jeff Goldblum to do for years
I thought I was the only one wealthy enough to cycle on my Peleton whilst Jeff Goldblum read The Economist to me.
@KSkoviraNC5 have you seen this thread? I’m dying 🤣🤣🤣 this one is my favorite.
THIS is real life man
Seems better than working out in the hellscape that Mid Atlantic winters have become. Cody’s abs makes up for the surrounding decor.
Consuelo! With an O!!! There is no such name as @#$%&€¿ Consuela!!!!!
Sorry, pet peeve. Carry on.
Yo se! the mistake was part of the joke!
🤣but people actually think it's a real name 😔
Anyway, hilarious thread!
That is part of the joke.
Yeah I think that's been clarified by OP but thanks for your input!✌
Bizarre (if not negligent) that you don’t have a Peloton bike for your kid. Ours is right in front of our 70inch QLED 4K so our 6 year old can watch YouTube videos of other people riding their Peloton bikes.
At only $2300 a pop (and a basically free subscription of $460 per year), it just makes sense to put one in every room. Plus, you don't have to listen to Consuela moaning about being pregnant every time you want it moved to another room.
You can't make heaven
You didn’t just say that!?!?
She just applied at Trumps golf course
Is there anything that doesn't make you think of Trump?
Ok this is the funniest one! 😂😂
Good one 😊
No she probably has 3 since you pay her minimum wage.
Hey Consuela! Escort Todd Jr. to the iPad suite and fetch me my Air Pods! #Gracias
(No comment)
Balling 😂
Consuela????!!!! Racist
Ok, you have to stop. I have a charlie horse in my solar plexus.
Hahaha!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. im pretty sure youre my new favorite twitter account
he's still at it 😂😂
Consuela
Ok, this made me cackle!!
hahahahaha.
So accurate
Haha seriously. The whole thread is hilarious.
Your ‘dumb’ kid probably wants some attention for a change; perhaps read a little book together or some other one-on-one time with you 🤗
Why Consuela #TomBrokaw
(Possibly sensitive)
I came here for THIS!
😂😂😂 Epic f’n thread! Bravo. Thx for sharing @GreggAlan702
hahahahaha this thread I’m dying
omg lmaooooooooo mine is just in my boring loft feelsbadman wheres my CONSERVATORY
Pics please‼️‼️😝
This is the best thread on the internet. Mazal tov.
And I chant build that wall! While I employ an illegal to be my nanny lol
Conseula!!!
Princess consuela banana hammock 😂
Brilliant and well done (and finally, this Peloton craze has to be one of the more obnoxious manifestations of a particularly American sickness...)
Right?? 😂😂😂
I like this one for you lol
Consuela!!! Biahahahahahahahhaa
Omg I just guffawed
😂😂😂😂Probably the best thus far
#YouHadOneJob
I think this is my favorite.
I’m dead
Ouchieeeee 😂
Lmbooooo
lol stop with these haha
Is it wrong that I can’t stop laughing at this one?
Consuela is fixing a flat tire on her old Schwinn.
Poor Consuela!😭
The other one crashed dad's interview with @BBC
Does Zwift get any advertising done in the US? It is actually good if people want to bike and get fit.
Never heard of it
With it you put a bike on a trainer. And it's not as expensive. Peloton seems to be targeted towards idiots. Plus they threatened to sue someone for using the word Peloton.
Put one in a pub and color me intrigued. Not a hipster pub, though.
Ok. I'll come clean. My peloton is used as a clothes drying rack.
This is not a joke, Beats. I am deadly serious about my Peloton bike placement.
Where his dad’s chair used to be.
Jesus Christ!
Your callousness is bested only by your inspiring devotion to your Peloton. Don’t stop.
How long have you worked for Peleton or been paid by them to market their product?
I don't think they're gonna like this...
Will they pay me to take it down? :)
Road to Perdition vibe.
I hate the outdoors
This is a hilarious thread! #PeletonLife
Minus the view, in any home this generic room looks like it should be filled with off-season Christmas decorations, bulk paper products, and bags that need to be taken to Goodwill.
I also peddle with one leg.
Can you actually *see* the ocean from that ‘ocean-facing’ beach cottage, or do you have to imagine it from the sliver you can catch a glimpse of through the windows? 😉
People on the bus keep staring at me bc this thread has me dying. 😂😂😂 (I'm also listening to that song from the Peleton ad on loop so I can get my super healthy materialistic inner beast all hyped, which means I have no idea how loud I'm giggling.)
Gotta gave the Peloton pants to get a complete workout.
“The au pair was making my holistic vegan kale vodka smoothie too...”
wow, imagine a four-bedroom beach cottage (square footage, please?) for my bungalow life. 🏡
, please read this entire thread, you’ll 💀
I just saw this and I’m dying lol
Please stop - I can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard 😂😂😂 - guess I’ll get a home equity loan and get a peloton....not sure about my view though
This actually looks like their most affordable and practical scenario yet.
why do you have so many marketing pictures of Peloton bikes?
Because I have committed to the Peloton lifestyle
respect
Can’t say this company doesn’t know exactly who can, and also, who can’t afford their product.
Next take it to Berlin, you can literally position it to seem like you’re uniting East & West like Hasselhoff!
Let me be clear, you'll feel like you're flying over London because you will be staring intently at the workout that has a video of a London flyover. The fact that the airbnb has a birds-eye view of the Thames is irrelevant, Peloton-wise
This one's friggin too funny. 😂😂
Sure let me go out back and grab a few thousand off the money tree and ill get right on that, lol.
Coming to America vibe.
This is new level of stupid.
They call it satire on Twitter. 😂😂😂 Or funny AF.
Any one who knows me, knows not to bring up anything related to exercise even jokingly, people die long lingering deaths because of this stupid hobby. No exercise, eat ice cream every day, heart attack in sleep, done.
You ARE my father, Harbant! 🤣
Well, like my grandma told me, my wisdom is like a drop of oil in a pond, just give it time and it will cover all of it, not to any depth, but cover it any ways. I always smuggled a ton of candy to her, she was super diabetic, but died happy at age of 61.
Good news- my dad will be 80 this summer. He told me long ago to shoot him if he ever reaches this age but I'm thinking he may have second thoughts.
Just show up with a gun for some real fun.
My cholesterol is 134 and BP 88/132 so over the years, I have moved my target from 45 to 65 to 85 to errrr.... 110 ??
If scientist come up with anti wife pill, I could live past my target, o ther wise she tells me, today you are a dead man every day and one of these days I might just find that one last straw
Shoot first ask questions last. Being that he's older he'll probably appreciate succumbing to such an old school quote and the irony of it all.
*This is a joke don't 🔫 your 👴...unless you really want to.
Lol- that's golden right there. In all honesty, I hope he makes it to his 80th so I at least have the choice. 😉
Take it to the next level, take him with you handgun shopping, let him pick one and never tell him what it's for.
Brilliant mate!
lmaooooo those damn bikes i’m always seeing over here that remind me i’m poor
(No comment)
Is that not San Francisco?
Pretty sure that’s the Shard in the background but either one works
You’re way ahead of all of us.
Right?
Dying!🤣
AD & Lifestyle Stylist for this brand rn.
This was my first thought upon reading this thread too but the marketing was intentional and unmistakable... I think they knew exactly the demographic they were after and the image they wanted to portray. Now it’s come home to roost 😂
Of course! That’s why I chose that gif. 😉 And knowing the industry, sometimes ADs have to follow exactly what clients tell them to do. It’s not always pretty. 😬
Absolutely. I’m in tv post production and in previous jobs I’ve been asked (read: forced) to do some utterly ridiculous things at the bidding of marketing departments. “I’m just here to execute your ideas” we say, as they beam with pride, not knowing we’re laughing at them
I would, but don't have the money. :-) Happy that someone can do that.
I have no clue (phun intended) who you are, but hey, at least you are having fun. All the best, and keep on cycling.
You should tots do this!!
Tots!! 😂
Ok. But your 15 minutes; BRILLIANTLY DONE. Hashtag goals.
I was debating which app was funnier IG or Twitter n after this yup twitter.
and to think you made us rent actual bikes.
The Air Bnb in Cologne would've been the perfect spot for this
read these tweets — crying
So cool! I carried mine up the stairs if the CN Tower in Toronto, 144 flights, 1776 steps, then placed it on the glass floor and I felt like Harry Potter playing quidditch.
Top trolling... 👍👏😻
Soooooo delicious.
Solid juice drinking game in the background. Definitely kale heavy.
This woman doesn’t actually pedal; she’s doing crunches
Hubby’s taking a training break in the background with the latest #TB12 concussion water. Only $20/liter but totally worth it.
..... with a rail thin model....
So glad I paid extra for the male model. Totally worth it.
The smell of sweat helps to suppress your appetite too.
If I had a wife who looked like a Barbie I'd pose her like that too
Best place for your #peloton bike is under your rear and between your feet.
Next to your $15k doors of course
Also, it gives you a break from looking at the Zen garden on the $9000 wooden riser upstairs.
Looks like this fam needs two - they have to take turns hydrating and cycling? How gauche.
I'd have said a good place would be between yer legs
Check it out.
this is fantastic. I don't think our Peloton placement would be acceptable here.
A good place for your peloton is in the Hudson River. Get off your fat behind and walk/run.
Bet those are virtual cacti too?
Hey if you ever think of getting a new one I would gladly accept your handmedowns. I would even drive to NYC to it up. I always wanted one, bt can’t afford it🤣
I like to wait for my super hot, super athletic wife to finish her ride, then, instead of following her to my glass shower with waterfalls and 90 jets of high pressured water, I ride until I cant feel my thighs
The guy in the back is like "she's on the damn bike again"
Lmao ya make it annoying so you gotta remember
Hopefully the maid will clean up all the sweat after the ride.
I don't know who you are but I'm pretty sure you are my spirit animal! I laughed way too hard for someone who can't even afford to watch the peloton commercials!
It's 10:00am on Tuesday at your parents house and you both need to pelton before they wake up
In the nicest part of your nice house, duh
In this commercial they’re always near large windows with the drapes open. As your driving by their house “Oh look at Todd working out again for everyone to see 🙄”
Peloton Bike TV Commercial | On To The Next
No matter what you do or where you are, Peloton delivers your next challenge to your home daily with live studio cycling classes. To learn more, take a class...
youtube.com
Those commercials stress me out
the idea of buying a zillion dollar machine for that just gives me even more stress lol
To be fair, that space is probably occupied by your silver bullet empties.
Risky Business vibe.
Put it where the Xmas tree would be. Decorate with tinsel. Who needs a useless Xmas tree, anyway.
My aunt did that with the Harley frame her son left in the living room.
They really lean in to the 50-Shades-of-Grey aesthetic.
Peasants
The ghetto.
LOL “Conservatory” 😂
Ugh, why are they so poor?
Looks like we have a soulmate @fml_sh
Clue Heywood, you need to build your parents an addition for your Peloton.
THEY need to build it. I don’t care if they’re on a fixed income.
OMG stop...these are killing me!!! This is the funniest thing and I have a lot of work to get done and it is distracting me because I have to keep looking at this feed over and over because it is so hilarious!!!
This is clearly Joel’s parents house in Risky Business. This must be his sister.
Ugh! How inconvenient....... Don't ever go back!
Reading these, and the Pelaton commercial comes on. Just beautiful timing. (Also I would let this girl place her Pelaton at my parents house too)
These tweets are HILARIOUS and I’m dying
I put the $10.00 bike I bought at goodwill in the back shed that the dog sleeps in....lol
😂 “or a conservatory”😂😂
I'd much rather have been in the conservatory of my parents summer home with my Peloton.
I'm a Peleton watcher, Peleton watcher, here comes one now
The best is how these rooms are seemingly solely for the peloton and no other use/purpose. Wild how living the peloton lifestyle really just changes your priorities, man
If it doesn’t change your lifestyle then why even HAVE a Peloton bike?
Shit.. guess I have a pelo-ton to learn before I’m ready to dedicate my life to the cycle
But bah - you poors don’t have an exotic setup for your Peloton like these beautiful rich people. So just stay fat & poor, you can’t afford our bike anyway.
When is the last time you rode a bike?
I have a beach cruiser that I ride to bars! It’s Arcadia man
This one makes me itchy. I just keep imagining the headline, after she trips getting off this thing and falls left
Matrix vibe.
This may be the best thing I’ve ever seen on this website
I just read the entire thread and I'm literally crying with laughter
It would have been brilliant with just one or two but it kept on giving!
WHERE IS CONSUELA
It's been ages since I put on my stylish blazer and combat boots and sat down to enjoy an Architectural Digest
Our home is very much lacking in turquoise marble peacocks
* fireplace
Wow, only $9000 for the wood riser? Must’ve gone with cedar or pine. I prefer African Blackwood or Pink Ivory.
You too? I thought I was the only one!
God, the remake of Conspiracy Theory looks terrible.
Totes Black Panther!
Mines a gold gymmer
... and stare at the video screen
When did you order the light snow?
I would love a Peloton as much as the next guy, but this can’t be any more accurate 😂😂
Yall know they be watching her undress since she doesn't have blinds or curtains. She likes it.
the only thing that beats the view out the window is the view of my instructor encouraging me to go harder
suggestion for your next trip to NY
Well, you should turn the lights on! Nobody can see u in the dark..... & I wouldn't want to ride my real bike around NYC@ night either!
That CGI snow though, did it come with it?
this thread is hysterical
I was thinking about getting a stationary bike from goodwill and motivating my self with Richard Simmons betamax tapes.
As one is wont to do.
Not shown, the Nordictrack and Bowflex with towels draped all over them in the corner.
How better for your neighbors to know your dedication to fitness.
Is this the one behind the Piggly Wiggly?
I notice there's no railing around it.
Barriers are bad feng shui
I hate every Peloton commercial because no one needs that over priced bike. You all need to get a moving bike and roll yourself
to KFC...you don’t have friends, that why you have friends on a screen....Maybe I went a little overboard...just venting..love u.
vent away. Clue deserves the death penalty for buying a Peloton.
So...revolution at six-thirty a.m. sharp, tomorrow?
I'll get the guillotine ready.
Pro tip. Have it done while at you’re at Davos so you don’t have to see the workers
Retro-Peloton
...Oh!! That's the model that DOESNT come with the monitor. $7,999?
Works best with a Zenith 19” CRT console
19”???
Rich boy!
You gave $9000 for that riser? I would build you one for half that, can I come clean your house for $1000?
Straight cash homi
You overpaid...
On to the next one, on to the next one. Lol
I could have built that for like 3K. Lets not use that dude next time lol
Best thread! Can't stop laughing!
By the age of 33, you should have: a lawyer, an accountant, an orthodontist, and a carpenter
Thank you for this thread. Amazing.
Oh , you too
U over paid 😳
Is that you @justjanedoee 🤣
Where?
One of the best threads I’ve seen on Twitter
(No comment)
$9,000 for a wooden box? This sounded like a good price to you?
Such is the rate that a world-class cabinet maker demands.
(No comment)
I had @Gritty build me this for you
read through this threat 🤣
Wait which one? I can't see a specific thread.
You paid how much for $150 in material and maybe 10 hours of carpenter work??
$9000 for that? How in the world did you get rich?
How the top 5% live... 🙄
That is a monumental growth of a machine that promises no upgrade in game statistics other than hopeful promises that will lead his/her journey
I think I recognize you from my Facebook news feed.
Doesn’t it cost cheaper to go with a real bike and meet real people?
why would you want to do that?
Just sayin
NINE GRAND FOR A WOODEN BOX?! Some people have more money than sense.
Omg SO worth it!!!
I’ve read this entire thread three times, and each time it’s just as funny as the last. Thank you
I particularly like the "half-gay husband reading AD wearing combat boots". Gotta love those stylists 😉
I screen-shotted that one it was so funny
I am crying at this feed. It makes me want a Pelaton. But most importantly, where’s my penthouse in the hills with a view for proper placement? I need this JUST to house my Pelaton.
I used to work for Peloton until I sued them and won. They wouldn’t let me take lunches or use the restroom. In fact the majority of homes we delivered to 8/10 were mansions. One home had a stream running through it. These pictures are what I saw in homes every day.
Said Bill Clinton
Does anyone speak slang in spanish??? Slang-ish? "Peloton," is slang for "dumb ass" and thus, fitting for the contraption. Love the thread..just adds to the mania.
I place my 1 of 4 peletons. In my temp controlled imported Spanish brick wine cellar. Looks great next to my Chateau Petrus collection.
Awesome feed
I have a wealthy friend who owns two. One in her lovely manse and another in her lovely beach manse. She has never failed to mention her peloton when I see her. Never. She doesnt always tell me how her kids are doing but she always tells me how wonderful her peloton is.
You need new friends Jerry.
🤨
I don’t actually want to hear about her kids. But I think she’s trying to convince me to get a peloton.
Only if you have the perfect scenic room.
Tell ya what...some advice: Get a new home worthy of the Peloton,
THEN buy a Peloton FOR it.
🤨
This is what kind of carpentry I'm Trynna do after going to WGTC
Still not the same as the real bike riding experience in the real nature
For $9000 it must have been reclaimed pine wood. No respectable snob would settle on anything less than $20k. 😉
Glad I’m not the only one that noticed this travesty. A $9k platform is hardly worthy of supporting a Peleton.
That's what the company gets when they sell their bikes to poor people 😉
Why this is barely a step above wooden pallets built for shipping. The horror.
As a cyclist (mountain biker), my beef with this ad is that it’s inside AT ALL. You have gorgeous woods through your window. Get outside! Shit.
It was IMPERATIVE to put it fully-visible in the center of my curtainless floor-to-ceiling all-windows room. THIS IS THE ONLY LIFE. Granted it meant moving my display cases of crowns, jewels, only-worn-once Versace gowns, and diamond encrusted dildos..but we all make sacrifices.
this is the best thing I saw all day
You forgot the private jet.
Then you hired Jill DeJong to ride it for you while you took photos.
This is Peloton
Agency: Partners & Spade Production Company: Reset Directors: Andre Stringer Editor: Arcade Edit / Brad Waskewich Composer - Steve Lynch Music company: Echol...
youtube.com
You need to step up your Peloton game.
I’d have to sell both kidneys
In Aspen, Colorado, the multi-billionaires put a Peloton in every room of their "ranch houses."
Here’s a two Peloton Platform household for sure 😂 😑 Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas held another wedding reception with friends and family
Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas held another wedding reception with friends and family
The newlyweds continued their wedding celebrations with another reception, this time with loved ones with a "Southern feast" in North Carolina.
twitter.com
Jesus Christ, the serious responses. I can't even......
Ok but have you heard that riding your bike in nature is free???
Don’t you know that if you ride an actual bike, in nature, OUTSIDE, it’s almost impossible to keep the 29” monitor on the handlebars? Plus, the peasants can see you when you make fun of them.
One lives in the penthouse. One owns “outside”.
I don't need a peloton. I have a beautiful landscape state with friendly bike lines, splendid beaches sidewalks and magnificent weather to run a marathon.Guess what!?...it's free all year around.
Ugh.. 🙄
And so the two ends of the insufferable spectrum meet, creating the circle of life.
Music to my ears.😉
You are saying me right now!!! Outstanding...
Is this the set from Ex Machina?
Yeah that's cool, but will it make the incredible pain in your ass disappear after riding it?
That's what I wanna know.
🤨
where did you put yours? 😌✨
Not quite sure you are doing it right
this thread is incredible.
Are your first names Hasn't Gotta?
That’s so great, unfortunately I had to sell my Peloton platform to pay my mortgage.
read Joe this thread
What is wrong with you?
I can see my posh cousin living in Cayman Islands on this bike.
Peleton is probably throwing a shit fit over this lol. Just as they are free to promote and market us this overpriced POS, clue is free to make fun of it and we fkn love it
You have pelotones.
The carpenter you keep on retainer, just for jobs like this.
USB of course. Duh. 😂 But there might be a battery powered version. Or solar. Which means putting it into the 4 season sunroom. 🤔
this you?
I'm so glad I'm not the only person who's epically annoyed by these douchey commercials.
I feel like if federal workers just sold one maybe two of their Peloton bikes they could be okay for a week or so
Yeah but the joy of Peloton last a lifetime. They can just take out bridge loans on their back pay or figure out an elaborate options arbitrage to pay rent.
So true! Times like these you just have to be creative
An excellent opportunity to serve the community. Peleton PnP. My understanding is there is a journal(?) staff refer to, ‘List of Craigs’, to find such things.
I got a $50 bike at a wholesale club and downloaded peloton app for tablet, same idea less money
If you have that much money, why doesn't your slave ride you around on his bike?
Lol @jimrome brought his to Atlanta for the Super Bowl
Peloton equipment is for the 1%
Who hasn't?
Because it is no longer safe to ride outside. Cyclist in a glass cage.
I put my bicycle with two wheels on the street and move myself to work and back, and it saves me $1000 a year in subway fare and another $1000 on gym membership!
👆Luddite! 😂🚴♂️
Clueless.
(No comment)
I remember this from the product placement in Ex Machina
How about getting a real bike that isn't bolted down, grab a helmet and take a ride out doors for christs sake.
I have a Pelotron. It's electric so I don't have to peddle at all. I also had a cup holder and a cafeteria tray installed.
I have literally thought that Peloton sells a "scenery projector" to go with the GO NOWHERE bike.
Seriously the most pretentious commercial on tv and ultimately its not a thorough workout.
Not a thorough workout! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah ok.
I’m just jealous 😒😕
Alas, poor Nordic Trak.
(No comment)
$9k for a wood platform is pretty steep!
Hmmm reminiscent of Jillian Michaels' Nordic tracking in Renata's foyer from Big Little Lies.
It's a big expensive machine, but you tell me where else I can achieve the feel of walking up this exact slope.
mine is in the corner of my tv room. does that count?! ;-)
Shhhh. They might repo it if they find out 😉
It better have a quilt, coat or blanket hanging on it!😁
Buys peloton. Proceeds to fight against street improvements that make it easier to use bikes as a transportation mode. #bancars
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
I built a house around my Peloton.
As you do.
Like Duh!
Obvs
None of those ads show any fans or airflow around those bikes. I hope those people have lots of towels on the floor because there will be sweat EVERYWHERE.
They don’t sweat. They perspire
I have like 4 fans on my, I open all the windows in winter and I still roast on my trainer.
You're all barbarians. Peloton riders don't sweat nor perspire. They GLISTEN in the sunlight, like the sheen on a cherub's wing. AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!
Horses sweat. Men perspire. Women glow. Ask any Southern lady
Secondly, they don’t prespire. (Had to complete my favorite CEWIII quote whether you had intended to start it or not)
They neither sweat nor perspire, they glow.
Wrong. The glisten.
The judges would also have accepted “glisten”.
They get "moist"
I prefer it when they’re wet
Yes, Khaleesi. It is known.
I glow like a horse.
Consuela dabs the sweat away so gently.
they glisten.
My grandmother told me the way it used to be said was"I feel the heat."
the men fart.
And the men thunder.
Can’t you hear? Can’t you hear their thunder?
You better run.
You better take cover 👍🏼😂
Men@work!
Oh, now that is a glorious response. 👏👏 #vegemitesandwich
Precisely. said the man from down under.
And... we’ve reached the dick joke. Strong work, from Peloton to a talking penis in just seven replies. #manfromdownunder
😇
Years of practice.
Finally! Someone got it.
We call it farting.
@cavallokane They're too cool to sweat or perspire they condensate!
@cavallokane They glisten.
@cavallokane And here I was thinking they were just for posing and taking pictures.... you actually have to ride the thing? I thought that was part of Consuelas's job.
@cavallokane They dew.
@cavallokane I’m far too wealthy to perspire, I glow.
Hahahahahaha! Not sure anyone got this.
You better run, you better take cover.
Well, that went down under quickly.
WHO got Vegemite all over my Peloton?!?! CONSUELA!!!!!!
That may be why the little boy is in the corner while Consuela is pedaling away in the garage.
Yaaaassss!!
Glisten
....and possibly glisten!
Glisten
Glisten. Ladies glisten.
"I get use out of my Lulu hemp based ergo absorber towlette while I indulge in my post ride green glow smoothie. Consuela always follows behind me to clean the floor around my Pelonton. Only after I leave the room. She mops too loudly."
did you get that from Goop? Gwyneth says they are the best
“Look, only if I can package it with my fish oil. I’m not a savage. Ugh. Twitter is getting so Snapchat circa 2018.”
No, we mist.
They GLOW
Horses sweat, women glisten.
Or glisten.
Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies glow...... you needed to know that so your towel supply is adequate
This is the correct reference/reply.
Correction...glisten. They glisten.
The people my parents worked for 100% for real told us that once. Mom was the housekeeper/cook and Dad was the gardener
Silly, horses sweat. Men perspire. Women glow.
No, as a female once told me, they "glisten".
and inspire ...🤣
Nope. They “sparkle”.
They don’t perspire either. They glaze! 😬
I glisten. 🤷🏻♀️
Winchester!
...And in the second place... They don't perspire.
Women don’t sweat, we “glisten”.
Sweat or perspire, sooner or later, them puddles will develop an odor.......
Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies feel the heat.
Towels? On the floor?? But my sweat butler takes care of that sort of stuff..
Nonsense. The sweat is stored atop their sculpted cheekbones.
Rich people don't sweat.
they "glow".
Correction. They don’t sweat... they honey....
Also, thanks to their carefully-regulated gluten-free organic diet, their perspiration actually smells like lilacs, as opposed to the funk of rotting musty undead shart-monsters that the rest of us poor slobs excrete.
You should write greeting cards. 👌
Thank you! Well, I AM a writer...just not in the glamorous, fast-paced, high-octane, rewarding world of the greeting card industry! 😎
Dear reader, copse, whiporwill.
Please incorporate as much as possible. Thank you!
Work out so hard you sweat? Ew.
Horses sweat.
Men perspire.
Women are all a-glow.
Get it right.
smells awesome in there, i am sure
Peloton owners don’t sweat. They have people for that.
No, that's when Consuela comes out with the ostrich feather fan.
I sweat like a hippo on my off-brand Chinese exercise bike that's located in my dark basement.
Ha ha ha, jokes on you. Sweat is only a condition that affects poor people. Peloton owners Botox their entire bodies to avoid such matters.
They also don't show the very real cable that needs to have an outlet.
This is like looking at homes w amazing views, when the stagers put the couch facing the views, like sure, I guess we could have our backs to the TV??
There’s a mat for that.
Or even mats!
Yes!! I taught spinning for years...put that in my house?? NEVER!! It’s sweat central.
It’s called misting......
And? It doesn’t take Consuela all day to wash the 7 bathrooms!
Um, hello? They hire personal sweat-dabbers to keep them from dripping on the floor. They're kind of like maids, but with only one job.
In the South, we sparkle
Consuela will clean it up
Yep! 30 minutes on my trainer and I’m sweating like a whore in church.
It's called a sheen. It makes us glow with health and prosperity.
They don’t use towels. They use ultra breathable materials.
It's funny how no one in the Pelaton ads...
Actually needs a Pelaton.
Seventy per fucking cent.
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This is so so good. My wife worked for a family who had one and they kept theirs in the workout corner of there garage, where these kinds of things belong, rather than prominently featured next to their dining room table like the buffoons in these ads
You’re married to Consuela?
LMAOOOOOO
I just peed 😂😂
Consuela, please clean this up!
Noooh, Noh...
ROFLOL!!! 👏👏😂😂😂
This conversation is a gift. This is why I’m on twitter while I ride my Peloton bike.
She can't, she needs more lemon pledge.
Great gif? Lol’d
I’m Consuela! Thought I’d forever get away from that name that took me FOREVER to learn how to spell!🙄😑Now, I hv to dust & polish that freakin Peloton twice a day!
I need more lemon pledge
On your Peloton bike????!!!!😨😨😨
On your boyfriend?
It's ok, Consuela will get it.... :-)
Clean up in the conservatory with towel please
Wins for this year!!!
575 likes in 3 hours.
You rock.
Nooo noooo
bahahahaaa!
For the win!!!
Hey, she's amazing.
Hahaha!!!!
twitter.....wins.... every....single....day
Omggg. 😂😂😂
Lol 😂. I laughed so hard my cat ran out of the room
Bwhaha!
Here’s your 🍪! You win! 😂
Thank you for making my bad day go away.
Trying not to wake my husband with my laughter. Your reply is the cherry on top of this marvellous thread.
LMAO made me laugh the most of anything in this thread.
Omg. So funny!!!!!!!!
You win! Best response so far!
that's the 1st question you have????
HAHAHHA
Oh, so good 😂😂😂
*laughs heartily into salad*
The vast majority of them become hangers approximately 3 weeks after they are purchased or gifted.
No. Your Peloton should ONLY be in a garage if it's a Christmas gift for your wife and you're trying (and failing) to hide it from her.
Proud buffoon here, happy (?) to have ours next to the dining room table. Lots of tree huggers have intentionally small homes that make it necessary to be content with eyesores in common areas.
I thought you kept it in the garage for a month before Christmas so your wife can slip out of bed when she thinks you’re asleep, get a work out in, and then slip back into bed reeking of BO that you ignore?
read this lolol
*Their
You need more lemon pledge?
I have mine in my manhattan living room in the corner looking out at the streets while I use it. Not a big deal... We own homes, we can do whatever we want with them.
Please use #ad ty
This is brilliant work. OUTSTANDING.
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Peloton guy
They run about 2-3k relax the backgrounds don’t matter
Damn this is the best thing I’ve ever seen
Pelaton to Columbus!
the thread here 😂
Hilarious haha so true. We need to upgrade
its like owning a baby grand piano, but for condo-dwelling yuppies.
That's kind of ironic because I put my Peloton on top of my baby grand piano.
I've hired a pianist to play my favorites like "Livin' On A Prayer" and "Baby Got Back"
Liberace eat your heart out.
That is not his favorite part.
Omg hilarious😂😂
I was doing ok in this thread until this. Now I’m laughing so hard my spleen hurts. But not enough to keep me off a Peloton bike if, you know, I had one. 🤣
another top thread
Jay Z approves
I use mine to help combat feelings of yachtlessness.
If only I was a top 0.001 percenter I rage ! Internally of course.
If I was a top .001 percenter my Peloton would pedal itself.
Respect! 👊🏼
My small garage-sized stealth startup is disrupting the entire gamified stationary bike market! Peloton geeks hate us. Our patent pending technology allows anyone to use a power drill to pedal their Peloton bike. Start hacking your social media health stats now!
But that doesn’t help me with my yachtlessness disorder- please help
Joke among my triathlete friends who LOVE talking about how awesome and techy their bikes are; "yeah but you still have to pedal it though"
If you were a top .001 percenter, Consuela would just pedal it for you
No, if you were in the top .001% you could pay other people to pedal it for you. In diapers - so they wouldn’t try the old “bathroom break” excuse...
I in fact do have others pedal for me. In their own damn houses. My living room is, ahem, stationary bike-free.
Top 0.01 percenter is enough. There's 32,000 of those, so greater chance you were born there!
Whilst listening to Yacht Rock🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵
It's ok, you can identify as a .001%
Alas, if I not for my Peloton bike workouts, I would be investing that time raising Yachtlessness Awareness.
It’s a terrible affliction
Yaahaahaaa
Better than breaking your hip after being forced to ride an actual bike after having one of your yachts go rogue taking your peloton with it. Count your blessings and quit yer bitchin'.
I use mine as a clothes valet.
Literally laughed out loud
K, next album is going to be called “Feelings of Yachtlesness” #yachtless
Sounds depressing
Naw it’s ‘meta’. Don’t worry, yourself and Plankington Videobykes.com are getting an infinitely small royalty split that cant be described in human numbers.
Can put it it my yacht GoFundMe account
Raise yachtlessness awareness ! Donate a yacht to the less fortunate (me). I will need one large enough for a Peloton though.
I just realized for the first time that I, too, am yachtless. Is there a government program I can sign up for?
New favorite word and and predicament depleting my self worth: #yachtlessness
check the thread
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As a Peloton owner with it in the boring corner of my bedroom, this is the most hilarious and accurate thread ever. 🤣
I'm so envious of these people. I can't afford a house big enough for a Peloton and I'm reduced to riding a real bike in the out of doors.
Horrible! Ryan, I don't know how you can live like this.
NOBODY should be reduced to riding an actual bicycle. And outdoors, no less. What have we come to????
Wow, @ryanthink; how brave of you to tell your story.
You poor thing. Vow that you will never let the unfortunate reality that you're destined to be a have-not who can't afford a Pelaton impact your sense of self! YOU GOT THIS!
Maybe a Go-Fund-Me page?
Absolutely! Ryan's story is truly heartbreaking. Surely we can all redeem a few of our stock options and contribute to ensure he can workout with dignity.
And why is it called working OUT?? OUT IS BAD!! Especially when it refers to OUTDOORS. I think we should officially change it to "working IN."
I ride my actual bicycle outdoors.
But I own the whole island so we’re good.
I will call, email, and tweet my representatives and all members of the @GOP to keep @ryanthink in their thoughts and prayers. That'll make his unbearable living situation all better.
You have a Politically Correct room. Cool.
Or is it a Progressive Conservative room. Not so cool.
I bet it's the Pizza Cooking room. Or the Parental Collaboration room. But on the other hand, it could be the Pessimistic Colonialist room.
But our speculations are so much more fun and interesting!😁
Didn't GM discontinue you a few years ago ?
Progressive Conservative? That’s like having a transmission setting of “forward reverse”—the roar is deafening, but the vehicle goes nowhere.
I was thinking of getting one of those for winter. Now I'm not so sure.
Go for it. That is, assuming you can live with the life-altering shame of never having victoriously driven a Peloton in the spacious and austere living room of your high rise penthouse whilst surveying your urban kingdom below. #Peloton #marketing
Wow! I too have one of those rear-wheel bike frames! It's in a box...in the basement....and it was already there when I bought the house. But, still....worlds collide, man. Worlds collide.
You must reject it, for it's a trap, laid cleverly and designed to quash your dreams of ever knowing the glory of a Peloton. Resist its siren song, warrior. RESIST!
That comment gets you a like and a follow.
I can't 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm excited for the PureFlix adaptation already.
Outdoor exercise is for the meek.
Unless it's a picture perfect autumn day in Central Park and all the peasants and ugly people have been cleared out. Consuela picks us up so we don't actually have to cycle on the streets.
The Netherlands. You have come to the Netherlands.
Come unto, as per the brilliance above.😂
will fix this and all other societal ills. Vote Democrat in 2020!
Way to piss on a fun thread. #ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveNiceThings
You don't think the #WillieWanker is fun?
Lmao poor people ride bikes because they have to. Rich people ride bikes because they WANT to. Also the more practical it is, the poorer you are. The more useless and absurd it is, the wealthier you are. Rich people love to coming up with pointless activities
Everything is, really. So sad for them.
Omg... I've been having fun dogging Peloton and I just realized a guy I used to know is in the commercial. On the Peloton. In the living room. #CoincidenceOrConspiracyToMakeMeFeelBad?
Seriously? You have to show him this thread 😂
I can't. I doubt he even remembers me. But how dang funny is that???
I mean...do the raccoons chase you?? How horrid!
Ryan there is a support group for people like you. We are all here for you. I too suffered the indignity of having to ride a bike outside and I feel great now. Keep you head up you are not alone. God bless.
Thoughts and prayers. 🙏🏽
Thoughts and prayers.
You mean, out in the weather? 'Gasp'
How gouache!
Peasant
That is not who we are!
Sounds like you're a prime candidate for a GoFundMe account to cover the cost of a Peleton bike and to build a solarium to put it in. You shouldn't have to suffer like this.
Or rather to get another bike to head outdoors even more?
I’m immediately setting up a GoFundMe for @ryanthink. In a civilized society no one should be forced to live that way.
The struggle is real.
I've got a support for this very thing! We're there for you @ryanthink
So thats what Trump meant by "American Carnage".
I get it now.
Would much rather be out on bike!
Ryan, I'm so, so sorry. I hope you can ride it at night.
(Sniffs derisively)
Savage!
Thoughts and prayers for you my man. 🤣
I slum it in the basement on Zwift.
Thoughts and prayers to you Ryan, I am sure it’s not easy
Wait, how do you watch the online class then?
A "real bike"? Is that like a poor person's Peloton?
Let go of your pain. Admit you own avocado appliances and a phone with numbers that spin around. It's OK, Ryan. Also, where is the "out of doors". GPS coordinates ...?
Peasant!!! 😸😸😸
Unfortunately, you live in Canada. If you lived in the UK the goverment would assist you in providing a bigger house so as to meet your basic human rights and should your need not be met a whole army of offended people will start a Twitter campaign
Ugh, gross. Can you and your poverty relocate away from my tweet, before your sad, poor person vibe contaminates my being?
Living the good life Ryan!!! 🚴🏼♂️
One works: intervention
This is my favorite thing on Twitter today! Brilliant.
Well done!
I'm more of a toilet guy myself. Me and my hot date in the minimalist toilet/living space.
So does my sister Janis. Cycling is her "passion," if you didn't already know.
Quiet! She’s blasting her quads!
Shhh. you're ruining her workout.
Actually, she’s in a meeting...
Winner 🏆🏆🏆
Wish I could like this 1000 times
Don't ruin her workout!
Sometimes I stream mountain rides on my 110 inch Ultra HDTV and imagine I am on a mission trip in Haiti. Very Uplifting!
This whole thread is hilarious 😂
The best clothes hanger yet
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this thread 😂
Mine is in my craft room, but I do love it 😍
These are hilarious!
I’m not trying to be funny, this is really where I put all my Peloton bikes
Perfection. Congrats on the hotspots and to your realtor.
Don’t forget the carpenter.
I want to take this time to thank @ClueHeywood If not for his miraculous tweetage I would not be sitting here with hundreds of likes. Though I don't know him... I still don't want to. Thaaaanks
are those real ads?
Hat tip, Clue. Well done... 👍🏼👍🏼
It’s good to see that the little people are enjoying Pelotons too. Very cute nooks!
Making it all the more humorous, my man.
It looks like a great place to hang clothes off of..
Does Consuela have a sister?
She's got 4 hermanas, all stunning, and all completely unavailable until they finish flushing the sand from Burning Man out of nine of Clue's Pelotons.
Where are the wires, though??
This totally makes up for Magary dying and thereby failing to give us the Williams & Sonoma takedown.
So you have a peloton of Pelotons???
Brilliant
This is awesome! I see the commercials every day and can’t quite figure out if Peloton is just a bike, or maybe you’re supposed to watch with other people, like a virtual Soul Cycle? I’m so confused, but you’re hilarious!
It's a subscription service. You do your workouts with a live class streamed on the screen. But honestly it just seems like a very expensive cult to me 😩 They advertise way too much! This thread is hilarious
So the classes are live? I figured it would be some sort of streaming workout so you can workout when you’re able.
Not that I have one, but a colleague of mine has one and says you can have a “buddy” to compete with in real time on a FaceTime sort of thing.🤷♀️
"Asking for a friend"
There's a schedule of live classes every day (you pay a monthly fee to access) then as far as I know you can also pull up on-demand classes too. It's not a terrible idea if you can afford such a thing (I can't) I just find it bizarre how much they advertise - must cost a fortune
It's totally hilarious. Been thinking for months as the commercial comes on TV, its a gawking stationary bike and a tablet
Plus nobody drinks water. Where is the water holder?
You magic man, look at what you spun here. Deliciousness.
Easy does it - That's the kind of compliment that'll get you a restraining order.
Said the pile of Wonton goodness.
But does your half-gay husband really wear combat boots to read Architectural Digest? C’mon?
Hysterical! I've been thinking along similar lines every time I see those ads. Personally I keep my 1970s Motebecane at a friend's house because I don't have room for it in my attic garret.
Hats off to you! Hysterical!🤣
You’re the target market. Who else could afford those things.
Thanks 4 sharing views of your humble domiciles.
Being a peasant I guess I’ll have to stick to riding a bike outdoors, I’ll try to stay out of your way. If I fail feel free 2 nudge me off the road with your Range Rover
Some people are so basic. So basic that they only have one Peloton bike, or gasp, no Peloton bike. Plebes.
This is an example of true parody. The term parody is almost always misused in the context of "fair use." You've hit the concept squarely on the nose. If i were teaching copyright law i would use your piece as an example of true parody.
My favorite tweet is the "half-gay husband"! Not sure if anyone needs a #peloton if they have a half gay husband in the house!
Be kind - she's only ranked 54th. If she gets a taste of Serena money, perhaps then she'll grock the Tao of Peloton.
Let me know where you are donating your extra Pelotons. I could use one.
You cut right through all their bullshit. You must have used a @Gillette blade
Likewise
The shittiest thing about my life is that I am not you.
Yeah, but which one is the best ride and wifi?😊
Living. Your best life. And sharing it with us.
The turquoise peacock 🦚😂 Props to your interior decorator(s)
Do you buy in bulk?
Well personally, I was just so pleased to see some ppl still have their nannies discipline their children!
Mine is in my bedroom. It's under all my dirty laundry .
“...put all my Peloton bikes.”
It gives me ideas for mine.
Clearly, cycling is your passion and Consuela needs to be let go.
Oh dear. I’ve been in tears reading this thread. Thank you for being you 🤣😂🤣😂
You are one funny sob.🤣
Ah but you don’t really...just yr dream
You are a peasant. If your Peloton bikes don't have their own homes, you obviously don't deserve them.
Very funny
Not trying to be funny? We are all in stitches! And your replies are even funnier! Please stop before you give me an aneurysm! I need to lie in a darkened room!
I love putting my Peloton in the closet where I keep my Kareem Abdul-Jabbar airplane pilot sport coats.
And my curated set of black punk rock tees. *buzzcocks* always makes me laugh.
And yes, that missing 2.5" of wallpaper in the bottom of my open closet annoys the f*ck out of me too.
you dont wallpaper over baseboards...
or put baseboards in closets.....
if i had a closet like that i would
And not sweating at all on the floor after a grueling 45 minute ride
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You win all the internet awards possible for January 27-28, 2019. Absolutely fantastic.
Disagree. This takes all of January. I predict this won't be unseated until at least June.
Hilarious thread!
this is great. Read the whole thread
this thread.
already informed me.
Gonna have to pass if it won't fit into the Bugatti Veyron...
EOM
this thread 😂
this is gold.
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This is the best thing I’ve read in at least 7 days. I’m laughing like a hyena.
My wife and I ride our matching Peleton bikes in separate rooms of our West Side NYC apartment. We love staying healthy together!
you look well over 200lbs mr healthy
Funny, you don't really look like a douchebag :)
Sad bastards. Try giving her one mate. #peleton
So full disclosure, I do actually own one of these (because riding outside in New England in the winter sucks), but I never got why they put them in huge picture windows and shit. The whole point is you're supposed to be watching the screen.
But your life is now so perfect, you want one in the window so all the neighbors, passerbys, and drones can see the perfection!
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this thread ha
It took me way too long to figure out this was satire.
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omg this thread
Can you do Wayfair next?
why are they called "peloton" are they supposed to be named the Finnish word for "fearless" i need an answer
In cycling races a peloton is a group or pack of riders.
sorry but to me a Peloton is one stationary bike placed in front of a picture window overlooking a mountain range.
fair, we didn't all decide to major in Finnish language/cultural studies on a fucked up whim
...are they fearless
The name for a group of people on bikes is a peloton. (The pricey indoor bikes are still dumb)
ok BUT ARE THEY FEARLESS
Is it really? I read it as a Spanish slang term for “baldy”
Yeah, if you watch the Tour de France or domestics, they will talk about who is at the front of the peloton.
Well that’s just so cool! Live and learn!
My building has them, and I am legit terrified to use them.
Specifically, it is the French word for the main group of riders in a bicycle race.
thoughtco.com/french-cycling…
I know. TMI.
How to Talk About the Tour de France in French
Whether you love cycling or just watching competitions like the Tour de France, here are some useful French cycling terms to know.
thoughtco.com
yeah I think I said that I learned that when I went to fetch the screencap of the definition of peloton in Finnish from wiktionary
yes you did
As someone not familiar with wiktionary, that implied assumption was not noted.
Thanks!
Live and learn!
no i mean i literally said as much in a tweet
i mean peloton looks like it could be a word in quite a few languages i just assumed Finnish because i'm more familiar with it than Spanish
but it appears the cycling term comes from French because of course it does. feel free to follow my dunce twitter account for more language facts and other assorted hell nuggets
I love hell nuggets 😍
also the k in pelko disappears when you add -ton (or one of many other suffixes) because of consonant gradation. just fucks right off
The Spanish word for baldy is Pelon. My friends call me that all the time. Lol
Candidate for 70% tax rate?
lol this thread.
I'm cackling
mother of god this is phenomenal
This is the best thread on twitter. Peloton is for twits. Same kind of people that spend 10 minutes giving Instructions to the Starbucks “barista”
I have never spent more than 5 seconds ordering my coffee. So there.
Fair enough. I won’t burst your bubble. I don’t like the brand. At all. A better alternative is to get a road bike and a Wahoo Kickr. Fall in love with cycling as it was meant to be. I’m not buying shit for 2gs with no power meter
What is a road bike?
A regular bike. Like a Tour de France type geometry
Can you get them in the US or only in France?
Canonnondale.com
Made in the USA. Amazing machines
What size screens do they have on them?
They don’t. It’s a regular bike.
You ride it outside. In the winter you pair it with a trainer (google wahoo kickr) and use a program callled Zwift
How do you know what to do if there isn’t a screen and an instructor?
There are about 600 different workouts in the system that tell you EXACTLY what to do. Cadence power etc, all agains a super realistic game like background. Also a tonne of group rides.
I’m not really looking to tonne. More in the bulking phase. Also is this safe? Do many people ride these two wheel bicycles outside?
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This whole thread!
Hahaha! That's it, I'm moving my Peloton to my kitchen. My basement isn't pretentious enough!
It better have enormous glass Windows sir, or else it's still unacceptable.
I'm putting mine on my front porch so all the neighbors can see me.
Ours is in the basement between the liquor cabinet and sofa table. Not quite as sexy as those other photos, but at least I don’t have clothes hanging on it....today....
unacceptable
On the plus side, it’s easier to drink to blot out the pain.
Bacardio
I think an intervention/rescue my be in order! Smh...
You have definitely underplayed its role as a clothes hanger.
Mine doubles as the world’s most expensive clothing hanger
You should ride it.
Or, you know, an actual bike.
We named ours “Mt. Laundrymore” 🚲 🧺
We’ve all been there.
dude, you just became super famous because of Peloton bikes....they should actually pay you for all this advertisement!
I would go and ask for some compensation ! 😎🤣
So your tactic is placement? Place all your chosen food into your mouth, for when later you're ritualism will manifest toward what manner of unknown delight is awaiting? Plausible enough. Becomes a religion for you working out while you become your food. Practice #Idolatry much?
Plus you can easily reach behind you for that Scotch & soda!
No soda. Just large rocks of ice. Don’t want to delute that good scotch!!
Better yet, ditch the ice and get those stones you can chill!
Ah yes the normal set up for the poors and those sad unfortinates that have to raise their children without a nanny or au pair.
I don’t know you and based off your Peloton placement im@happy about that
You let it block access to the booze? What are you thinking?
Liquor cabinet opens from the front! No access issues. 😉
where is the one in the white house located? maybe the Lincoln bedroom?
That is no way to live.
Easy access to booze is a requirement if I’m going to engage in Pelotoning.
*reported*
The POG* will have it repossessed for substandard placement. *Peloton Owners Group
Do not the Peloton marketing team find out. It is clearly designed to work best in front of a massive window!!
But the question is do you ride one handed with a rocks glass full of bourbon? Because that sir is winning.
Drink in hand depends on which scenic ride I am taking:
Columbia Gourge - nice Pinot Noir
Italian countryside - delightful Chianti
Streets of Paris - Kentucky Bourbon to show those Frenchies what is really good!
Give Pennsylvania Rye a shot sometime. @WigleWhiskey makes a single barrel rye that is beyond outstanding.
Love a good rye!! Especially in a Manhattan. Thanks for the tip
I’m impressed you have a liquor cabinet. Nice.
You also don’t look like you’ve used it...ever 😂
Ouch.
Yeah, I don’t use it as much as I should.
However, as a point of reference, I have used it more times this month than Arkansas won football games in 2018. 😉
Was this the 3rd or 4th time this month? 😂
Plus it’s close to the booze!
What the hell. This is disrespectful to the Peloton culture. Did the instruction manual teach you nothing about the proper placement of the most important item you will ever own?
I’m a rebel..
Damn that’s one fine reference. I salute you sir.
That's totally what my exercise equipment gets used for!
has a better product
No commercial for you !
I’m the “before” for their BEFORE vs AFTER pics.
You have it all wrong! You should have it facing the liquor cabinet. You should be chasing your goals not racing away from them!
Nice job Mark. All progress is progress.
My home office #Peloton. Because it’s too damn heavy to move upstairs to a better spot. Been here for two years. Those little 2 front wheels? Yeah ... they’re useless.
But I do ❤️ it. Ugly cord and all.
high end!
How much does one of those cost?
Too much.
Do you even get it?
Why even bother staying in shape? You should want to die ASAP
If you're not drinking heavily while riding your Peloton, you're NOT living your best life
I judge exercise equipment according to how many pieces of clothing it displays.
Cats loved mine. Perfect bird watching perch.
With lots of double sided tape I secured one of their comfy beds to the top of the display. (Relented and eventually replaced with a much less expensive and useful ugly cat tree).
You should design a hose to the liquor that reaches your @onepeloton so when you’re on it you can also have your favorite brown liquor cocktail.
WTF? where's the ice machine?
My first glance I read “bedroom between the liquor cabinet“ and went, huh?
You can donate it to me- Id use that every day. #helpmeimpoor
But how do you get to your liquor
Door in the front. 😉
Yaaaas! Priorities!
Excellent placement, you need plenty of refreshments during the ride
Still 👀 like it is in a nice space
You were tired of people doing this to your big picture window when they saw your Peloton, right?
Where do you think @3YearLetterman keeps his peloton? Near the waterbed?
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I ride my Peloton while an ultra-intense Matthew McConaughey plays billiards, contemplates life and drives away in his Lincoln.
as the other partygoers peek in from the next room, discussing in hushed tones his profound autism
FINALLY that commercial explained!
Commercial, docudrama, whatevs
I was wondering if anyone younger than 70 goes for a Lincoln ? So not the demographics they are targeting with that add 😀
maybe that's the point, trying to change their target market? I wonder if it's successful in doing that?
@dadcobbed For the past week, the fact that I’m apparently in that commercial’s target demo has made me feel bad about myself.
Work those tribble references.
As someone with Autism, it is left to me to break it to you that his behavior is more indicative of Narcissism
I really hate that commercial. What an egotistical show-off; that borderline sociopathic shithead character knew he was being watched the whole time
Guys like me and Matthew McConaughey pause and grin before we hit the power button on our dash.
Jim Carrey doing Matthew McConaughey on SNL was about the last funny thing from him or on it. But I don't care who you are, that was funny.
And make a weird noise before they start the car.
I like to imagine MM playing billiards inside of that Lincoln.
Ahahaha 😂😂😂😂
... and engages the auto-pilot /self-driving feature to get back home because the sun is coming up and the cocaine and liquor he had earlier still hasn't worn off.
Before or after he jumped into your pool fully clothed?
OMG ! Cant stand those ads and they keep multiplying...
That's perfect it combines my hatred for both of those ridiculous commercials ,Winner!
I saw that McConaughey ad the other day. I turned to my wife to ask WTF did we just watch?!? I assumed he had threatened the other guests with the pool 🎱 cue, stole something from the house and drove off in their Lincoln. #SuperWeird
I keep wondering if he left his own party.
He did, he had been away from his Lincoln too long.
After making everyone watch him 6 times and finally succeeding his pool stunt, he realized how lonely he was and nothing would make him happier than riding his Peloton..
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😂😂😂
I've seen that before...
THAT FUCKING COMMERCIAL. My fave is the woman that says ”Whuh-Ah-uT?” In a voice that I swear is actually Matthew McConaughey’s. Sorry...I’ve been waiting for a chance to complain about that for some time now...
I also cannot stand the “whaaaat”. Like WTF is so crazy?? It doesn’t even seem like the right point in the conversation for that. No one else is exclaiming at that time. Ugh. I hate that commercial and I’m loving this thread of comments about it.
God... I hate that commercial more than anything. Thank you for this dose of confirmation bias.
And gets another Botox injection. Yikes, man...It’s ok to age!!
Unbelievable.
I’m glad someone else finds that ad annoying.
When McConaughey comes to my faux French chateau in the Texas Hill Country overlooking my 3,000 acre llama ranch, he plays bongos naked while I ride my Peloton on the 3rd floor deck contemplating life.
Sometimes I put my Peloton in the passenger side of Matthew McConaughey’s Lincoln while we ride on an empty interstate reserved for us.
And so I pedal while McConaughey drives and the stranger taps Bohemian Rhapsody with its dorsal fin and we all know Be Best is yet to come.
Peloton, for your everyday life.
I think this would be my favorite commercial.
OMG soooooo funny!
After he puts his contacts in, of course. Those ads kill me. 😂 They also leave me slightly terrified, when driving at night. He’s out there, somewhere, driving aimlessly, having insane, non-linear conversations, with himself. 😬
Alright alright alright.
Matthew McConaughey would gasp at this post. If you didn’t see he had a glass floor constructed over his pool with a wooden platform in the center solely for his Peloton. He realized this would help him stop his urges of trust falling into the pool while wearing expensive suits
Let’s leave Matty out of this please, thanks.
While people watch at a party.
Matthew McConaughey’s Lincoln is powered by Matthew McConaughey pedaling a Peloton.
What is w that commercial? I watch it am left ??????? 🤔
And picks his nose, rubbing the booger between index finger and thumb?
You have, like, three too many Peloton bikes.
😂 this thread
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Right, and sweat all over those ultra expensive tropical hardwood floors
You could ride outside, Peloton-boy.
go through this thread 😂
I am so wealthy that I pay someone to ride my @onepeloton. 🤣🚴♀️
Of course this is a liberal 👆🏿#LiberalHypocrisy
The best yet!
Now this is funny 😆
I bought a Peloton just so I have other people in my life to interact with because of my crippling agoraphobia.
lol just lol if you don't have Enrique ride your peloton for you
It’s the new “pool boy” that u just sit back and admire!
And I pay another lowly individual to sweat for me!
let’s look at those peasants and laugh
@SiefertSkip 😂😂😂
@SiefertSkip 💀😂😂😭😭🤣🤣
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😂😂😂😂😂
That’s fucking Peletonception right there.
Poor Conseula. I feel she would rather not do that
👍🏽🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟😺
And the winner is🤣
I don’t sweat on my @onepeloton , I glisten. The shimmer matches the pattern on my $500 yoga pants...
One of my brothers’ acquaintances asked me why I’d didn’t just but a regular exercise bike and hang an 80” tv on the wall. He said it would’ve been “cheaper”.
Poor people just don’t understand. 🙄
I mean, my peloton is easily worth the extra $5,000+subscription fees.
Best comment!! Hilarious!
Do you get the positive health benefits though? Hehe! Here’s hoping!
Best comment of the day.
The best!
This is a direct quote from @jonfavs
Witness the subtle psychological attack on your self worth by modern marketing in which they try to make you feel like a failure just to get you to buy their product.
Great thread.
Hilarious.
Dirty Money on Netflix or just general horribleness?
Thank you for this. Sincerely.
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Wonderful. I didn't know I needed this thread, but having seen it, I did need it badly. 😂
This thread is amazing
Me too! It’s a great morning pick me up.
I can’t ride one without a scenic view!
this entire thread is fucking hilarious. can someone send me the contact info for the carpenter? you can't find those wood risers around here for that cheap a price.
I have a Peloton bike on each of my ten yachts. Consuelo holds my towel so I don’t glisten unto the teak floors.
better keep Consuelo's feet in the stirrups.
🤣🤣 best
Uh - why are all nannies Latinas in this thread?? "Consuelo holds my towel" ?? Come on 🙄
Because lots of the pretentious folks we're mocking hire Latino nannies and maids, maybe? Stop looking for outrage.
Looking for outrage? 😂 Not "outraged" and simply asking a question. Not hard to point out when I see a name like this more than once in the thread. There ARE other races of nannies that rich/pretentious people hire ✋🏽
Sweetheart I'm not going to argue with you about this. You went looking for outraged and didn't find, any just own it. 👌
No, you're right..most nannies in the US are named Gwyneth.... SJWs need not apply....
Yep and all of them are named Consuelo/a!! Have a great day!
ppl are mocking rich white privilege and the casual racism and hypocrisy (we support the wall but don't take away our staff!) that goes with being of that (lack of) class
"unto" is perfect and even if it's a typo it's still perfect
Exactly what I thought 😂🤣
Glisten unto is absolutely the name of ariana grande 's next album
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm dying
Name of Amy's sex tape.
"glisten" too! omg, I have actual tears of laughter
Only Peleton owners leak "unto." The rest of us are so insufficient and inferior.
Consuelo, though — Consuela’s twin brother?
Consuela trabaja en la casa y Consuelo trabaja al yate.
Ach so, klar, sehr logisch.
🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Does Betsy deVos own a Peloton for each yacht too? I figure you two know each other.
Isn’t saying Consuelo here racist? Or does that not apply because she’s a liberal? I am not on top of all the rules
I fucked Consuelo on a Peloton strapped to the back of a flatbed truck while speeding recklessly down hwy 101
Phew!!
My towel holder's named Esmeralda... The yacht is called is "The yacht that houses Consuela the Peleton'. or YCP for short. Btw..my offspring are only allowed on YCP because their tiny hands can get in the crevices to clean when Esmeralda can't..
why it gotta be consuelo? lol
Not glisten, tho! 🤣
Use your peloton Matt! ...Peasant
I have never been on a yacht, Would you invite me on to one of your yachts? That would make me so happy.
I bet those teak floors are difficult to clean when you take a piss as they do in the real peloton 😀
Is this Betsy De Vos's alternative account?
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Read the thread it’s hilarious
Did you see this thread?
HAHAHHA
I thought you might appreciate that! #howadvertisingworks
The more I read, the harder I laughed!
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Love this. Also, try posting a 3 star or less review on the @onepeloton website. It will be quickly deleted.
I feel as if that should constitute false advertising.
Agreed. There are many Forum comments online about them deleting less than glowing posts.
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fantastic...what happens when tone def brand lives too long in their bubble. Although their target demo probably slurps with a straw.
A reusable metal straw
YETI...of course!
But not the type to have the Yeti sticker on the car. They gave it to Consuela so she can raise her status
Is that the Peloton Betsy Devos fell off of?
This thread and @RandyRainbow will get me through Monday.
Yes: this thread by @ClueHeywood , @RandyRainbow, and a winning lottery ticket! #MondayMotivation #LifeMotivation
I thought the exact same thing yesterday when watching the ad, I’m like who are they marketing to?
The same people from the Christmas GMC Denali commerical where the husband buys two fully loaded Yukons on a whim for Christmas....
Thank you, I treasure that thread!
Too funny.
Why is this happening
Don't you ever stop. I could read your Peloton ads all day long.
Too bad it doesn't have wheels :(
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Someone has too much time on their hands.
This gets a follow. Bravo! Well done.
I thought you'd appreciate this thread 😂
this is absolutely amazing!
Lucky you not for peleton but house.
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I'm so happy you're not embarrassed by your small collection of Peloton Bikes.
OMG LOL!!!
Absolutely golden
That ad song, tho. "freeze! Somebody put me up some curtains, please!"
I also hire models to just peddle away on it, just in case anyone is looking. God forbid I even touch that thing. Everyone knows the rule is: if your not super fit. Don’t even think abt getting on there. No can do
Haha, after a while we begin to see the ridiculousness of modern media advertising.
this thread lol
Brilliant!
Loved putting my Peloton on...
Craigslist
Wait! I need it. I am completely left out at girls brunch as I do not have one to discuss. I mean I don't need to actually ride it. Just talk about it.
@That_Dumb_Wall You can have mine. It’s shit.
Wow, Craigslist must be way different where you’re from if there’s a Peloton bike buying crowd on yours.
@That_Dumb_Wall I know right
@digitalteeeej @That_Dumb_Wall Wonder how many “Is this available?” or “Is this negotiable?” comments he got for that one?
@That_Dumb_Wall "When could I come try it out?"
@digitalteeeej @That_Dumb_Wall “Do you deliver?” “Can you hold it for me? I’d come get it right now, but I don’t get paid till Friday.”
@digitalteeeej Dude - I wish I could afford one. It was sarcasm. Who the hell needs a $2500 bike that goes no where?
@That_Dumb_Wall @digitalteeeej We are just joking around my man. We are cracking on Craigslist, not you.
@That_Dumb_Wall The real question is were you able to trade it for a used weed whacker or massage with hand release? If not perhaps consider adding “interesting trades considered” in your listing. Pro tip
Pelotons are the new baby grand piano
Hall of Fame tweet!
I will work harder and then buy a Peloton bike, but only if I’m
good looking enough
I thought you would enjoy this thread.
Fucking brilliant!!!!
Wow, one of the best take downs of an over priced piece of marketing wank, soy garbage, snob appeal, little used, keeping up, crap equipment manufacturers ever.
Thanks @ClueHeywood!
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I wish I had one of these bikes
I’m so rich I don’t even care that it blocks the spectacular view.
It IS the spectacular view.
Just hire someone to move the view!
So glad I kept on going after the first two tweets - where my only thought was "Christ, what a douchebag".
This is fucking amazing 😂👏
Let's be real here. The kind of person who would buy a $2,000 version of a $200-$300 product absolutely lives in a ultra-modern $3 million house.
I was on my regular bike just rolling arnd and looking at things when BOOM! I realized it was not a peloton and I threw it over a bridge and now I am a tall, rich and fit. Thanks peloton. And f you stupid normal bike.
Peloton is the only way to go! What are you going to do with a stupid, good-for-nothing, regular bike???
Hilarious thread
Absolutely bloody hilarious, thanks for the laughs......and I’d never heard of a Peleton bike until 5 mins ago 😂
Twitter win for the day.
I still deeply desire one of these things but a) I have to buy groceries and b) I really hate to work out...
I feel like hulu is judging my binge with these ads.
Is there a Handmaid's Tale spin class? No? I'll pass.
I'm appalled at all the Peloton Privilege on display here.
Has no one mentioned the music? My god, the music
I get it that some people like that kind of music. I do. What I don’t understand is WHY. #NailsOnChalkboard
Me, too.
I have an awesome view.
God I hate those commercials and am not surprised to know I'm not the only one.
Lmao this is hilarious!
One of my fav moments of SAG awards was Meghan Mullaly telling Emma Stone who turned 30, Hang in there soon you too can do your own reverse mortgage commercial.
This is hysterical! I plan to sell a several thousand of my Apple stocks during the next government shutdown and purchase one. What says you, Wilbur Ross?
Oh, this had me rolling 😂😂
This is hilarious.
For those who are wondering, this sums up why humanity is in deep 💩...
Love putting my Peloton Tread in the basement, for it leads to what is best in life. To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
Such a hater thread 😂
Thank you for expressing my own annoyance so hilariously.
holy moly those things cost two grand
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Get a clue.
Notice how NONE of them have power cords plugged in either
Are they not powered by money?
They’re powered by hubris, I think
It looks like a nice system and I was curious as to exactly how much it costs, as all the systems are overly expensive, so just wanted to see how bad it was. Even if I had that type of money to throw around, I would rather donate it then spend that type of money on a bike.
$3k minimum plus monthly class fees
Yeah, no.
Good grief, no
$2225, the treadmill is 4k. I pay $50 a month to workout at a gym that has a peloton bike and it's AMAZING.
Sorry, try me a different day
No. Buy a regular spin bike and a cheap WiFi tv. You can then subscribe to Peloton for monthly fee, freestanding. But that set up is a fraction ($500 or less for both?) the cost.
Also, you can ride in front of other TV.
What I do. Also, you can use other services w spin class.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
They are powered by the rider’s own sense of self-satisfaction.
The half gay husband one does.
I’m pretty sure they’re powered by smugness
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This is solid gold! Now, laughing that hard while battling the flu isn’t pretty....apparently, it’s not too late for some fake trendy resolutions🙄😷🤧
I pay someone to pay a model to spend literal hours on a regular bike and then I text them humiliating texts from my peloton in trump tower Toledo, Ohio. Fools!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"...they don't have a home gym, or a conservatory, or anything. Ugh."
I am deceased. Thank you, @ClueHeywood !
Thank you. I am just dying reading this thread. Now I can face whatever comes my way this week . . .
What a great thread!
Thank you for making me laugh so hard!
Almost as good as a Peloton work out. 🤣
I mean duh
Hilarious. Also, I love it when you’re mean to Will and try to help Grace with her love life!
Now my set-up feels inadequate. No hardwood floors or windows! What was I even thinking!
It is... And now that you mention it, I should probably move him a bit further away from the electronics.
People have weird shit.
Looking at this I am at once inspired and confused. I never thought to put my PlayStation near exercise equipment. I thought the little people running around on the screen were exercising for me.
And are you a redid DJ while doing both? That’s some mad talent.
* radio not redid
That mic tho
Ok, since two people have mentioned the mic... I'm trying to develop a system for working out while playing videogames thing. I've been doing it on YouTube (link in my profile), but YouTube's algorithm no longer supports long form "let's play" style videos, so no hits...
So instead, I'm moving it to Twitch, which is really more meant for that kind of thing. I walk uphill the whole time I play (usually 2-3 hours), and come up with ways to integrate bodyweight exercises into the game, like translating kill count into reps, things like that.
Socialist wanna take my Peloton.
lololol sorry.
I can't click back to see what you replied to - but once scrolling his profile I found the Peloton jokes. ROTFL....
They are too dang good
When I am 50 tears younger and weigh 105 lbs, I. too. will ride a Peloton bike.
At first, I thought that was a typo, but tears sounds accurate.
LOL Tears for the years! It was a typo, but it is accurate.🤣
If I measured my age in tears, it would certainly be much closer to how old I feel.
When I stop being bedbound due to 20 year disability I will find a way to buy a Peletron before a I even consider trying to buy a bedsit all of my own...
Where are you putting your Tread at?
OMG! That is exactly what I was picturing in my head too I’m so glad you did this thread. You put it right into what it really is—bullshit
Happy to see your Peloton work is earning you that national recognition you so richly deserve.
I've added like 2000 new followers from it. Boy will the next week bring a precipitous drop.
Once you set that bar, there's no going back.
You must be new here
If only you could find a way to link @PopTartsUS and @Hostess_Snacks you could be a rock star.
Make that 2001...
It’s ok. You keep riding your peloton. The masses will flock to you. They, too, have to learn the peloton way.
you just gotta "ride" the wave... get it?
Are you kidding? You’re up for the Congressional Medal of Honor.
2001.5 now
Who is this guy @Cardschatter darren?
Clue is a big Cardinals fan, a beer sommelier, and now he’s gone viral. We’re all very proud of him.
Ohhhhh ... ok? Never heard of him. But thanks 😁
this thread 😂
INSTANT FOLLOW!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣
you two would love this thread! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is absolutely the best thing I’ve read all day!
Yesssssssssss
These are awesome!
check out this masterpiece
Purr-fect
Dragging the shit out of Peloton, priceless.
genius thread
It’s basically an iPad on a glorified stationary bike. #smh
How glorified, you ask? Its back feet are aerodynamic wings.
You’re doing the Lord’s work with this thread. Thank you.
I must be Peloton-poor. I can only afford to keep mine in the garage next to my Juicero.
OMG... This thread. FWIW, I'm one of the unwashed Peloton masses who uses the $20 a month subscription on a $400 bike. The "real" Peloton owners look at me with a combination. Of pity and disdain.
I have an Amazon order on the way for all the things needed for this very setup but using a bike at the gym. I look forward to the pitiful looks...
This thread is nothing short of genius. Like, is there a Pulitzer for twitter? Because if so, wait for that 5am phone call, dude.
I know! Whenever a plunge into my gold coin filled Olympic swimming pool isn't enough to perk me up, I have my well-oiled servants carry me up the twelve stories to the solarium airy where my Peloton bike eagerly awaits a spin! Top of the world Ma!
omg thread
Brilliant, thank you
inarguably one of the most compelling Peloton-themed threads I've seen on Twitter all day
Who are these douchebags?
This made my day - thanks for the laugh!
More Peleton fun.
I’m confused by my own photo. The unfinished basement says my wife’s Peloton is rugged and outgoing. But it’s parked next to a rather expensive set up which says pass the Grey Poupon while I race for a mid-pack finish!
Unacceptable
Mtn bike on the trainer vs. Peloton - I like this one a lot! But do you Zwift and are your rides logged on Strava?
I can do better than that. Sometimes I run TrainerRoad behind Zwift at the same time!!! And would any of that exist if I didn’t sync it to strava?
you and I both know that if its not on Strava it never happened...
Doesn’t anybody else just ride a LeMond with a fan on while watching wrestling anymore?
I thought I was so fancy...
Wha? No Sufferfest?
Zwift on Strava—I think I had that as a kid. The pain was insignificant but the flatulence was awful.
How does one report this type of peleton abuse! I am sure they have a lawyer for this!
But that wahoo 👍
I'm surprised they have not yet repossessed your bike and banned you for life. This is disgusting.
Peloton used to power furnace. Impressive.
Do you plan on parking a keyboard in front?
Full suspension on a trainer? Does it lock out? If not that’s an impressive level of masochism.
It locks out to an extent. But there is some play in it. It’s fine for this time of year with long sustained intervals, before work. Just don’t sprint on it!!!
#ooc but how's the pedal bob on that setup? I feel like it'd bug me.
It’s not bad when you’re doing threshold intervals. I don’t always ride this bike on the trainer. But I’ve been indoors a lot this year, and I like doing intervals on the bike I will race in a few months.
That's a good point. Great bike, too, is that the xt/slx kit on it?
Thanks. It’s SRAM Eagle. This is, by far, the nicest bike I’ve ever owned.
yeah but your wife's shoes don't match her bike like yours do. #style
This is a horror.
Are we completely ignoring the child's stationary bike?
I thought that was an electronic keyboard and I almost died.
Does that suspension smooth out the bumps in your marriage?
great thread
epic Peloton trolling for you
Do you work for Peloton? Viral marketing takes many forms, satire being one of them.
I do not. But I’m an influencer now!
Your Coors light posts influence me more
Hopefully not to drink Coors Light.
Brand Ambassador. Next, companies will send you samples and you can put your “unboxings” on social media
To fkn funny.
You and the Virgin Mary.
When do you give your TED Talk?
If Peloton sends you one as a thank you, you're obliged to post an appropriate photo.
Yes. Yes you are. Are you ready to coordinate the next Fyre Festival?
I almost want to blow $3,000 after reading this, although I don’t have 3K, or a fancy place to set it up, so back to the gym I go.
hire this MAN!!!
For damn sure!
if he does, he has to tell us. true for cops and true for influencers.
you will find this funny
HahHa 😂 it’s legit
came in to rich shame you but decided you are my spirit animal instead
Last Christmas I gave chalets on Lake Como to 30 of my closest friends, and the only furnishings in them were Peloton bikes! We laughed and laughed!
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this will make you so happy. Also, you really would put your Peloton in the most beautiful place in the house.
Amazing how these pix resemble me, my spouse, and our various homes.
“They” will never understand us, Dorothy
Darling! Once your invited to uplevel to the BiocognitiveUplink® imlpant.... OMFG. You'll glow from head to toe... even little Archer's ADHD will evaporate as you literally transmit Bliss to those you adore..... Or agony to those you abhor... #PelatonLife
🤣Get Archer a mini-Peloton, that'll do it
Like all my billionaire friends, I use my Peloton bike to hang clothes my wife has told me to not throw on the floor (and that I have deemed not smelly enough to be washed) - saving my marriage and the planet, one piece of garment at a time, you see.
When you travel do you bring the choir along to do the cool chant while you ride? Gotta be multilingual to be able to chant in different countries
Hello, Pulitzer committee...we have a new nominee. Meet ClueHeywood.
Its like they were IN my homes. At least they got excellent photos of the Peloton. If it were in the shadows, I would just die.
Do you guys have multiple bikes or just make the help move the one back and forth? I kind of hate having to change settings...
You get it dot
The only thing they're missing is pics of our exotic animals, but I don't let the Bengals near my Peloton due to potential clawing damage
2 things puzzle me abt the ads: 1. So your living room now smells like a sweaty gym? 2. The one where she gets the bike all sweaty and nasty and then he rides it immediately afterwards.
your spouse is half-gay?
Not so much, but it's an excuse to post one of my favorites.
"Gettin' Bi" (feat. Pete Gardner) - "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"
BUY ON ITUNES: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/gettin-bi-feat.-pete-gardner/id1089699089?i=1089699094 Starring Pete Gardner Written by Adam Schlesinger "Ge...
youtube.com
unbelievable thread
Funniest thread
If only they followed the lifestyle
I see 2....have you begun a breeding program?
Don't forget to blast that music for the full effect🤣
I love this thread!
please read these lol
and he's officially back
This has wrecked my mentions.
"RIP my Mentions" -me, gravely, as they lower the casket of my husband, Jonathan Mentions
A like every second, son
You are a true genius. I am on the floor (after shifting my Peloton bike twelve degrees, thus aligning it with sunset over the Brooklyn Bridge). @DrMattColbeck
Do any of these people ever ride a real bike outside, as nature intended? Sorry #Peloton
I do. But I’m in Michigan so have to train inside 8 months of the year.
Is that you? We have fat tire bikes, so fun!
No, just a stock photo! Snow melts too quickly for a fat tire bike here in Colorado, except in the mountains (in which case I would rather ski anyway!)
We fat biked over Christmas, but it was super icy, so not great. They’re great in the sand on our trails.
Have you retweeted a #Peloton tweet? MY tribe is the angry cartilage-less seniors (although I can’t find a 501 C (3) whose charge is to petition Peloton) that can’t stand up on the pedals.
I love this thread so much!!
Brilliant thread!
This is hilarious 😂
Who cares?
By far my favorite thread of 2019. Bravo my good man.
Great thread 😂
Pelooootoooooon!
@OhwowValerie_
I’m glad people are taking notice at how ridiculous that commercial is lmao
This is amazing 😂😂😂
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It's definitely the best vantage point from which to manage a hedge fund.
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As a Peleton owner, the one thing they don’t show you in any promotional photos or videos is that the Peleton has to be plugged in. There’s a cord!
It’s still a stationary bike with an iPad hooked up, right?
No, its a Peloton.
What’s your username? (that is if you don’t mind sharing)
TFW I read a viral thread and see my favorite comic book artist in the replies.
Right!!!! Squeeeee
And that is why we twitter!
Not if you generate your own electricity from biking.
Yes! @vpostrel writes about how the cord is always erased from style shoots (see her great book The Power of Glamour)! Showing the cord destroys the glamour-magic. vpostrel.com/power-of-glamo…
Extension cord and gaffer’s tape 👍
You’re right but also, you never see tampons in porn. The cord isn’t sexy enough, it must be omitted. 🤷🏽♀️
You're powering the world, bro. You can drive your Tesla 100 feet for each our spent on the bike!
this is fantastic.
Mine is on our back porch overlooking a magnificent vista of suburban backyards. That it’s covered in 5” of snow helps with the cooling off period.
Thank you - this is my internal narrative every time I see one of these stupid commercials.
Love it
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So many weird places to put clothes hanger
you’ll enjoy this!
Clue has once again tapped into the cultural zeitgeist
This is going to end with him getting a Peloton bike for free and putting it in the bathroom of a bar in Scottsdale, Arizona
I've gained 3000 followers today and the exodus over the next week is going to be hilarious.
Fuck that, I'm here to stay
This is why you are my favorite fictional New York Yankee portrayed in a 1980's baseball comedy centered on the Cleveland Indians.
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You win!
I love this.
My brother has one (for his wife) and it usually sits at this window overlooking the Napa Valley... They know who they are selling to
Definitely #ConspicuousConsumptipn
read this entire thread
hahahaha
Hahaha I haven't seen an example of placing it next to out-of-date toys and unread books!
This thread is gold.
Ugh, their commercials are horrible. Awful cRap "music" and hideous contemporary homes.
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I use my Peloton for drinking games, I love it almost as much as my glass martini shaker
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decent thread! Breathless Village Woman alert!
Epic thread boss
and how you don't have a blue check mark boggles the mind.
This is a Peloton bike thread that @jonfavs and @jonlovett need to appreciate.
This thread @_Menjabin
So, can you explain the Peloton commercial over Christmas that appeared to have one as a present that the male or female or both used before Christmas Day? A used Peloton??
i sold my peloton because the music was entirely insufferable
Hey @TwitchyTeam your services are requested
Excellent work
I saw a comedian do a stand up routine and she said her niece called her sister's Nordic track the
#IgnordicTrack 😂
His placement of the Sonos sub only enhances the scene.
And placing it in the vicinity of the shitorial optimises the view of the peloton while discharging fecal matter
I’m assuming you have a second Peloton for easy access to the pinball machines.
Pinball! What do you have there?
Awesome! Thanks :)
Is that a Wizard of Oz pinball table I see back there?
Absolutely!
I like the throw rug in your bathroom
For the full effect.... 360propertyvideos.com/properties/415…
The pool in the background reminds me of the one on my Barbie townhouse I had when I was 8.
We need to talk about the mirrored wall behind the toilet.
Somebody went mirror crazy at some point, that’s for sure. Have had a few removed.
This home is soulless
I’ll be playing pinball, thanks.
You are Tim but I fear those 2kg dumbbells will slow you down ;-)
One thing you might consider: I am told those glass blocks on the bar in the adjoining room are so yesterday. Think about an update.
Oh, there are more glass blocks... they kinda work.
Yep, just pretentious enough without drifting into the I’m a rich douche look at my nice stuff lane😉
Close to the shitter. Good idea!
That seems like an extra wide toilet seat. Or am I meant to sit across instead of front to back
I keep my Peloton bike at the showroom. It's on display and everyday I go visit it. #alhillstopeviction
Good call my man. Let me know how many workouts they’ll give you before they ask you not to come back. I might give your strategy a try.
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It’s important to first paint, carpet and upholster everything white. Then place the bike.
Clue Heywood. Classic screen name!!!
This thread is great
After the rants about Peloton adds I thought you guys needed to see this thread.
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I’m the nanny but my boss has not one peloton but two (the bike and treadmill) in their off-limits library
Pro tip: that’s not a library
It’s the room that full of built in bookcases so that is the best description I can think of
As a self made(crime) millionaire I have my Peloton in the window of my Ritz Carlton residence in the Caymans. Here is my view. I bought the Camo model of Peloton.
Camo? Such wealth deserves the Stealth Peloton.
love it when my peloton doesn't need a cord to work, since that would interrupt the feng shui of the room.
this thread 😂
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My generic peloton is feeling a bit inferior this morning after reading this tweet. But also grateful that the lazy owner took the laundry off of it. #genericbikeshavefeelingsandstandardstoo
That dog tho 🤨
Awesome!!
Where.Are.The.Power.Cords?
Rarified atmospheres must generate 110V from well, nothing.
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Mine is on the roof of my house so my neighbors can be jealous every time they leave for their minimum wage jobs.
My Peleton bike transforms into a bot we call Goofy.
He is flogged when we get bored
What I'm dying to know is how much (and how did you get) the wireless version on some of these? I'm not talking about wifi, I'm talking about AC power.
The zen garden, cactus garden, beach, sunroom - that really starts to add up in options.
I suspect that Consuela is the one to ask. It appears that she is responsible for the trivial ‘details’ while her employer focuses on the more critical things such as placement in the appropriate room that offers the best view/environment. I for one am inspired.
I thought this thread was hilarious!
Where is Consuela? She better not be off with my half gay husband trying to get his boots off!😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
These are hilarious.
This thread 😂😂😂 The staging was well done. Beautiful locations haha
I only have a small colonial so I got a bike stand. I ride my bike in the basement.
Peasant
The horror...
well did you get a free bike or what
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Has the thread yet addressed that ZERO of these bikes are plugged in?
That’s because all of the hardwood floors are actually giant wireless charging stations.
Of course my plebeian self wouldn’t know anything about that 🤣🤣
I’ve been going through the whole thread wondering precisely that.
Pedal fast enough to generate the electricity to power it, then you won't need to plug it in.
Cycling is my passion
Amazing.
[90% have at least two items of clothes draped over them]
I love this thread
This whole thread is brilliant!
I couldn’t squeeze my Peloton in between the Ferrari and the Rolls so I just have Consuela mist me with water so it looks like I’ve broken a sweat.
Agreed, Lambo and Jags are my living room. The peloton is in a snow bank off the back porch.
Quality branding.
This is the best thing on the Internet today.
My Peloton is in a strip mall gym between the barber college and thrift store.
I have a Peloton bike on my Gulfstream G650 so that I can feel like I’m biking at 600mph while closing multimillion dollar business deals.
I have 4 Pelotons on my Airbus 380. I ride whichever Peloton is northmost at the time. Obviously I do this for feng shui to stay in harmony with the universe Since I don’t have to work I just travel the globe looking for new places to put my Pelotons. I pity the world 😀
This makes my day!!
Mine is in a pretty average guest room, but I pay Lance Armstrong to ride another one. Behind me. As it should be. Cycling luxury.
sweet of you...he probably needs the money #StayStrong
Every product photo I see for Peloton bikes instantly tells me to not bother looking into them because the photo screams "you can't afford this!"
As offensive as these adds are, not 1/100th as offensive as the Peloton is to my crotch. Hell. To. The. No.
read the thread haha
Can someone with the time to kill post one with two Pelotons in bathtubs out in wilderness like the Cialis commercials? Pleaaaaase!
Peloton? Priceless.
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Peloton is an actual conspiracy, don’t try to convince me otherwise
Thank you for this. So GD funny.
a thread for you
How about 100 bucks in a cheap ass bike and get the fuck outdoors and really earn the physique WTF
Dear lord you win
Did NOT disappoint. Well done. 👏🏽👏🏽 🤣 🤣
Oh, you only have ONE Peloton bike like the rest of the poors?
read the whole thing
I pr mine in my spinter van and Consuelo drives me thru the Hollywood Hills.
Thank you for this on a Monday
I put my peloton bike on a flat bed truck. I have my friend drive the truck while i work out so everyone knows im working out and i get to feel like im riding a real bike
But then why have a Peleton if you don’t post it on social media? #blasphemy
I feel you would enjoy this thread
Hardwood floors love it when you drip sweat on them in the same spot day after day after day after day...
And paying someone to ride it for me.
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Now following for more great interior design tips. I obviously need to fire my decorator.
Best thread of 2019. 🤘🍺
Sweet viral marketing campaign. Seems organic!
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This is amazing.
This is awesome
Best thread of the New Year! 😂
This made me lol 😂 @hannaforthewin
And I just ride our old Schwinn stationary bike while watching Ari Melber. I’ll never be cool like the nice folks in those ads. Sob..
Thank you, thank you, thank you. That was f**king hilarious.
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Great thread! I was on this, as part of the entire morning routine of the Gods, a while back.
I’m Perfect and This is My Morning Routine – Pickle Fork – Medium
You Can’t Do All of This, But You Should If You Want to Be Happy
medium.com
threadla
*giggles* Great thread!
I’m a spin instructor and LOVE these tweets 🤣 My husband wants a Peloton but now I know it’s just your lifestyle he wants. If he was on twitter he’d love this 🤣🤣
This is the single greatest humble-bragging virtual-signalling subtweet ever. Perfection.
It was?
How was it? 🤔
In all seriousness there are so many other bikes, half the cost or less, that are way better. It’s all marketing.
Don’t tell @ewarren.
I mean... same.. yeah.
First person I thought of when I saw this. Like anyone has 3 million after buying a Peleton. 😹
read this whole thread and comments 😂
$3 million house? That’s all? Hold my 2010 Chateau Petrus while I ride my Peloton.
I thought you would enjoy this
this is incredible
I just put my Peloton in the laundry room. It can hold 2 pairs of jeans, several merino wool sweaters, and lots of other small items... A picture would be embarrassing...
I’ve thought the same thing when I see those commercials!!
Ours is in front of the pet bed, so I can watch the cats nap while I ride 🤣
But of course, mid-century modern decorations are near it, do you think I’m some sort of animal?
I love how you have your expensive Peloton bike next to your Target artwork on the wall. #classic #iknowbecuaseihavethatpicture
There’s probably like 5 of them up there! 🤣
Oh I like that mirror!
You know where to get it
Yay! Another $300 1 bag trip to Targét in my future 🤗😂
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Nope. Too plebeian. Aspire. Do better. ;-)
Yes! That’s been what I’ve been saying. Terrible marketing gimmick.
This thread is excellent 😂 I cycle every day to commute and I have a much better view as I spot seals and herons and swans on the towpath that I use . Fairly targeted marketing and nothing inclusive about this ad campaign . Exercise is for everyone, major self own 🙄
These are so good. Spot on.
This is amazing 😂 cc @codymclain @cathrynlavery
lol, had the same thought seeing their commercial. My setup isn't glamorous but it works
I like the fan, so you can feel like you're actually moving 🚵♂️
This thread is 💯
It’s an exercise bike!!!!
, you think Sal ever checks Twitter?
This thread is amazing
Check this thread out @BlairTCI 😂😂😂
As an actual cyclist, the fact that they call those things Pelotons is hilarious. Yay for being average!
this thread 😂
This is so good....@TheRealShutz
Lol! I though I was the only one!!!!
show us your set ups
Best Tweet of the year!
This is THE weirdest flex I’ve EVER seen but ok
Agree. My bike saved my life. Cute for a laugh but by hope it doesn’t turn people off to what it offers.
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These must be the mid-tier models. Old money keeps theirs in the spa.
Outstanding!!
Give us a break, its an extremely over priced exercise bike with bells and whistles. Woop tee doo! Rich people!
I keep my Peloton at my log cabin in Jackson Hole and hire local sheepherders to pedal for me.
This is a fucking magic thread.
look at this thread. lmao
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As soon as I install a waterfall I’m getting one
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This was one of the funniest threads I’ve ever read.
I cannot help but notice that neither your profile pic nor your twitter banner have a pic of your peloton, just a lousy panoramic pic of Arizona canyons.
I cant help but wonder if this profile is a fraud, sir.
Unfollow.
You made me laugh. I needed a good laugh.
This is everything!
read these!
This thread is GENIUS!!! 👏🏾
This is amazing, thanks.
This thread is a masterpiece. The same way a well-placed stationary bike is a masterpiece
And making sure all of your neighbors can see it and you.
Although I visited my mother in Phoenix, I had to ride a normal bike in her gym... naturally I had to replace my mom.
FYI. PELETON bike way overpriced!!
I saw these commercials the other day and thought, “who does that?” Perfect timing. 🤣
Holy shit this thread
👏👏👏 well done! Provided much needed laughter!
sorry. stationary bike too boring for me. 😴 But, carry on 🚴♀️...
you will love this thread
I toss my 4 year old son’s army men and hot wheels at the base of my Peloton, so I can imagine I’m Elliott from E.T. flying over roadblocks.
Home shopping, and none of these installations are sufficient for a Peloton. I figure I’ll need a place where I can live in the guest house and put the Peloton in the primary residence.
read all of them 😂
This is the best. We all think it
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It only belongs in the best places. I too did not hide my peloton... it’s prominently displayed in my office
I wonder where @gplama places his @onepeloton bike?
I have my peloton bike next to all my friends where we ride to power our Instagram accounts. So much fun! @HumansOfLate
Outstanding. @KurtRennels check this out
Crazy how I was just thinking that today when I saw the commercial
Outstanding 😂
you’ll love this. Read the whole thread.
The jade egg does wonders for the elevator muscles.
Nothing says "I made it" like the smell of funk in the places of my house I most like to entertain. It's like a dog marking its territory but only more elegant and refined
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great thread 👌🏼
Outstanding.
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Tried getting one, but failed the surprise home inspection.
Wonder if Lulemon will have a special line just for Peloton treks.
if Peloton and Benetton merged it'd be so cozy and colorful.
This is the number one thread on Twitter!
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this is good.
Now even my cat wants a Peloton.
you'll enjoy this thread
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Check our this thread mate, brilliant 😂
Haha brilliant, which one is SW's?
... remember this whenever you search for a house.
you would love this thread
Nominating this for Thread of the Year.
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I deserve this ...
This is hilarious @HumansOfLate
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This was all just a clever move to get them so much viral awareness that they’ll give you one free out of appreciation isn’t it?
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WTF, it’s an exercise bike for christsakes not a piece of art.
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I think about that every time I see the commercials haha
Is this humble brag OR flat out I’m better than you
I took my Peloton to the forest, I own, and set it free. They have souls you know.
I saw a Pelotron stand at St Pancras Station in London a week ago. The two people on the stand looked bored rigid.
this is GOLD
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I wish every pic was photoshopped with big orange extension cords
This thread is golden
This is the best thread of 2019 and nothing will beat it. Just shut Twitter down until 2020.
Better yet, leave it off until 2021
Yeah.. Yeah.. Right.. Sheeznit.. Gotta hit practice again in the form of lunch.
Peloton prisons are needed for hapless placers
This thread... AWESOME!
where do you put your Peloton bike?
I don't own a house that cost a million dollars so I guess I'm not allowed to own a Peloton. Probably for the best because my only choices for a view would be the street or my neighbor who hoards things in his backyard.
please read this thread
Are these bikes good 🤔
And here I have my Peloton next to one of three litter boxes. At least, the proximity requires that the boxes remain clean . . . I don't think they'll use my set up photo in their ad campaign, alas. BTW-- Peloton is the best! Seriously love it regardless of class ism.
Just can’t ride stationary
Most important thread of the week, and it's only Monday but I'm calling it now.
Yes! I thought the same!
This is triumphantly mean and extremely hilarious.
you’ve brought this on yourselves. Overexposure!!! Too many ridiculous ads
Lumped one after another, views are striking. And I do enjoy good architectural corners & fastidious interior decor. I would drag my Nordic Trac onto the patio or out in the driveway—less confining, fresh & breezy—for an upper AND lower body workout. Now I just walk.
Bahahaha 😂 @kellybean19 @sissy_la_la read these
I appreciate this thread because the big topic of conversation in my house this weekend is where to park our Peloton, which arrives on Friday. I am happy to see my idea of placing it between the sofa and TV in the living room is fitting with other peloton folks.
This is art.
I'm dying......😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Two weeks later the real estate appraiser laughs as he wipes a half inch line of dust off the seat!!
That’s because you’re sexy and you know it.
seems we need a new house before we can even THINK about a Peloton.
Yo, where can a brotha cop one of those peacocks?
So funny!!
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Made my day. I literally pissed myself laughing
Do Zwift next.
You single handedly got Peloton trending
I love this thread!
Thread 😂
is this like your Peloton setup?
Of course. Except instead a NY skyscraper loft, imagine a small 30s maisonette second bedroom in London
I was just about to @ zara on this 😂😂
No fans in any of these photos! What the hell?
We picked up this sporty entry level model at a garage sale and are looking for a classy staging area. Note: It is not suitable for hanging clothes on. Any ideas?
throw it in the servants quarters
I put four solid gold candelabras around mine to have soft lighting for my quad-blasting workouts.
I had mine bolted down on the deck of my yacht.
This thread completes me.
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😂 😂 This is great!!
Genius thread!
There should be a #realpeloton with pics of actual placements. I own one, great equipment, it is between a couch and my kid's drumset.
Guys, who do you think can do the best voice over?
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This is gold!
I use my Peloton when my BMi goes over 3, it works well for me and my 20 something model girlfriend. Tough to afford, so parents gifted us one. Luckily, I can afford the $30 for internet this requires
'dis you?
Should be me!
Love this 🤣
Oh, I thought the 3M apt with views came with the Peloton. I’d better cancel my order.
My Fav!
I have a @onepeloton and I’m not rich by any means. I live in the middle of nowhere so a gym is out of the question. It has been a blessing as my joints recover from Lyme disease. For the first time I feel healthy in years. Y’all just jealous. Get over it.
wow they should put YOU in the Peloton ads.
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this is unacceptable.
On rug?! *faints*
No she’s good, I think she has a light saber on the bottom shelf..that’s the money shot!
Which part the VHS version of Blow or Clueless?
Good movies in their time!
Don't get it twisted...I own both movies, on Blu-ray.
How...
Gauche.
Yes, at the ridiculously large frames for those lineup cards.
You actually have it plugged in?!? Unacceptable..
Is that a Billi bookcase??
You must turn in your Peleton
We all figured that out when we zoomed in on the NY Mets wall memorabilia. 🤣
You’re going to Pelotin Hell for putting it in the direct path of that cord fire hazard you’ve got goin’ on. For shame!
And I’m going to Hell for spelling it incorrectly! 🙄
Next to the Kama Pootra. This one wins. 😆 #HighFive
Thank you for giving my book such prominent placement on your bookshelf and juxtaposing it with the #peloton lifestyle.
You can still fix this by placing your Peloton cycling shoes next to your 18 pairs of Louboutin's.
follow these. Please let all know where you have placed your peloton.
Very funny. 😂
Has something annoyed you?
you may appreciate this
read this thread 😂
This is amazing 😂
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Well, I have my peloton bike on the veranda of my country estate. While I bike, I can look over my dressage horses in their paddocks.
And you sir alone, have restored my faith in humanity...or, at the very minimum, Twitter.
Nails it
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"I put the Peloton bike in the kitchen of our loft so I can get a workout and also cook the vegan three-bean tortilla soup recipe I downloaded from Goop."
I took my Peloton bike to the Fyre Festival. It was the only item of value on the entire island. 🌴
The first two tweets of this thread made me irrationally furious but then as if I had entered the zone on my Peleton bike a wave of calm washed over me and I understood everything.
All your peloton tweets is exactly what I think every time I see the commercial I thought I was the only one THANK YOU 🙏🏼, keep in tweeting!!!
(peloton) THREAD!
You can rest here when you finish your WO
Let me show where to place your head.
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Is this guy serious ?
Dying here 😂😂👏👏👏👏
So people do realize that a Peloton is just a spin bike with a fancy name right? 🤷♂️
This thread is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I will be checking back for more Pelaton hilarity!
I said the same thing! 🤣
This is hilarious 😆
I guess if you're home or indoors bound and can't get out much to exercise, mix with people & enjoy nature, which doesn't cost much at all, one has to find some way to compensate for it 😂
Absurd 🙃
All your Peloton dreams....
please read this tweet thread it’s amazing
I don't know who you are but I adore the hell out of you
read this thread🤣🤣🤣
Pretty awesome.
That, while my fitness model, pony-tailed wife works out vigorously.
Oh man. I'm dying to know what kind of Peloton setup @JackHJackson2 has...
I have 9 of them. One in the @pac12 Jet. One on my yacht and one in each home. Also, I have young immigrant boys ride them for me. It’s a great workout.
Please don’t address me again, you seem poor. Excuse me while I supervise the buffing of my gold 🚽.
Love this!!! I have had a peloton for3 years and love it! Mine is in the basement which is unfinished. I have a fan from Costco blowing air on me and I drink Water from Costco.
unacceptable.
Less classy than you. Dingy third bedroom, drinks tap water. Fan from Walgreens. 😁
Whoa, whoa...what are you some kind of Monster? The Peloton deserves better.
Lol see I would just let my bike down, plopping it in my living room. I'm not cool enough to own one
Me either apparently. I don’t have sweeping views for my bike to look at
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You seem to be on top.
Can I pitch you a script? Maybe a startup idea, or a kickstarter?
I mean, I don't have one, but judging from your Peleton placements, I feel like I should be groveling, at least a bit.
I’d put my peloton in front of the French doors to the zen garden but that’s where my cialis tubs are.
This thread. Truly awesome. I haven't giggled like that since I was a little girl.
Thank you!
this whole thread is hilarious
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Yooooo this what we was talking about 😂😂 @DillonThomas24 @qdavis_1 @southern_player
Riding that thing for 15 mins tops
Lmao peletons are the biggest flex of this generation
I feel horrible for not displaying this object of beauty. Mine is in the basement next to Christmas decorations
I keep mine in the shower. I love riding in the rain
I feel so inadequate: I only have a Concept 2 rower.
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