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I went on a date last night and the guy meekly shared that he used to be THE GENERAL MANAGER FOR THE TIMES SQUARE OLIVE GARDEN.
271 replies and sub-replies as of Apr 20 2017

Clearly, he'd seen some shit. So the next hour and a half was me asking questions. I tried to do y'all right.
Q Did y'all ever run out of breadsticks? If so what happened? A Yes. Twice. Worst shifts of my life. People were angry, kept telling us "no"
"They kept saying, 'OLIVE GARDEN DOESNT DO THAT, our Olive Garden, in Ohio, doesn't do that."
Q: Was everyone from Ohio? A: Brazil, Puerto Rico, & Ohio. The foreigners I understood. They'd grown up watching O.G. commercials.
Q: National pricing or city pricing? A: City pricing. It made no sense why the Americans were there. They were paying 3x for the same food.
A: How big is it? Q: Three floors. It may be the biggest Olive Garden in the world. The wait was always 2 hours. Our last seating was at 2AM
Note: I think he may have been trying to impress me here. Note, note: It worked.
That's not the end, is it? If so, there's going to be a date 2, right? I need to know more about this guy's time in the breadbasket trenches
Top-rate journalism.
why did you stop this thread??
Q: What was the most popular dish? A: The tour of Italy Q: What? A: It's a plate of lasagna, a chicken parmesan, & one fettuccine alfredo
omg thankyou this is amazing.
You're being sarcastic, right?
You didn't know what a TOI was?! Sad!
Tour of Italy was the first dish I ever had at an Olive Garden (Hamburg, NY, ca. 1993). I remember it vividly.
marry him. or don't, but he seems awesome.
It would work for me too. This is GOLD.
You sound like a SUPER fun date!
I just want to know if you'll be seeing him again
I went on an "ironic dining" expedition there once with other NYers who'd never been. The line thing is true.
I used to work at the biggest BJs Brewhouse in the world. Our wait was routinely 2hrs. We _always_ wondered why... our food isn't that good.
So is there gonna be a second date?
He's a keeper. Marry him. Seriously.
As someone who worked at an Olive Garden in Ohio this made my day.
Q: What was the most popular dish? A: The tour of Italy Q: What? A: It's a plate of lasagna, a chicken parmesan, & one fettuccine alfredo
Q: That's too much food for one person A: It's too much food for three people Q: How much? A: Maybe $25
Q Did anyone order the unlimited soup/salad/breadsticks and stay for 8 hours? A Why would someone do that? Q You said they were Americans.
A: Not on my shifts. But if someone wanted to, Olive Garden would not let us remove them. They are "family" and would be allowed to eat.
Q: That's really good to know. A: People can't eat that much bread. [I started laughing because he's wrong]
Q: What's the weirdest thing that ever happened? A: Oh, there was a knife fight. Q: Tell me everything. A: Two women. They came together.
Q: Steak knives? Like the knives from the table or BYOK? A: From the table. So, it started out as a fist fight and the other manger pulled
them apart and put one in the elevator going down to the 1st floor. They were on the third floor. The 2nd woman broke away and ran down the
Stairs. She stopped the elevator on the 2nd floor and grabbed a knife off someone's table. A: someone else's knife?! Q: yes
Q: So only one woman had a knife. A: The other woman picked up a knife off a different table. So the other manager, he was a huge guy, 6'6"
ran down there and pulled them apart again. They were on the first floor at this point. And he threw them out into the street. So they could
deal with it out there. Q: Did they still have the knives? A: No, he took them. Q: Did he give them breadsticks? A: What? No. Q: Sorry.
A: What happened after that? Q: I don't know. They were outside, so they weren't our problem anymore A: Would you say they're still "family"
A: No. Q: Wait. You said the shifts where you ran out of breadsticks were the worst. Worse than the shift with a knife fight?
A: You may be surprised, but yes, Olive Garden running out of breadsticks is worse than a knife fight. Q: No, I totally get it.
Reader, I married him. 💐
This entire thread is magic. Thank you so much for sharing! :)
Omg happily ever after
I haven't been this gleeful since Bill O'Reilly got his ass fired.
this will be the best thing I read today, and likely for awhile after that too
y'all will be blessed bc you just blessed me with this 🙏🏽
Delicious thread! LMFAO!! ... and now I'm eating bread because of it!
Top notch Jane eyre allusion 👏🏾
You should. That is a man who can handle anything.
I really really hope you did/do. because he sounds like a keeper. :)
I want this to be true so badly. Please tell me you married him _that night_.
A leaked video of Trump & his Russian pee prostitutes would be less interesting than this Olive Garden conversation. This was fascinating.
I didn't think I needed to read this thread. I was wrong.
This is a great story with a happy ending. Thank you for offering it up to share.
I'm dying 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm rooting for a second date if only because the story would be fantastic.
Honest to God, this makes up for all the bad things about Twitter. Thank you.
Is there going to be a second date?
Thank you for sharing this story. I'm blown away, and I wish you both much happiness.
I was going to tell you to do that. Good.
Dude knows that a knife fight isn't the worst thing to happen to customer service workers. You'd be nuts not to.
this is such a wonderful thread
can he come back soon? I have so many questions
One of funniest threads I've read in a LONG time
Amazing. But I have another Q! How many screaming fights per night, right outside, of NYers refusing to eat there w/their visiting friends?
Then welcome to the family, it comes complete with a bouquet of breadsticks. *Knives not included
You are the greatest gift this marvel of technology has ever bestowed upon this beautiful earth @JoeWadlington. Peace be with you. 😂
thank you for all of this. good luck with your one true love. be sure to let twitter know where you register.
Did Olive Garden cater it?
My sisters worked at og for years but wouldn't tell me stories. This makes my night
Important questions. 1, was he cute? 2, how about the 6'6" guy, was he cute?
good questions! 1. Yes 2. IDK but he's 6'6" soooooo
I know right? But the fact that cute guy #1 was a good sport about the questions is a mark in his favor.
But I might pay 3x the price for a Tour of Italy if the manager was 6'6" and hot.
haha, a very appealing tour guide
I want that to be real, because I ship it and I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP.
You're a saint Wads. This is the funniest thing I've read all week.
Please ask if he has any stories about Gordon Hayward visiting.
thanks to this thread I now have the correct and indisputable answer when old people ask " what do i need that twitter for anyway?"
Looking for something fresher? Enjoy our gift to you:
please don’t do this.
This guy needs to do an AMA.
This thread. @JoeWadlington was doing #thelordswork, y’all.
A: You may be surprised, but yes, Olive Garden running out of breadsticks is worse than a knife fight. Q: No, I totally get it.
this is the best date ever.
Joe I don't know who you are but 1) I'm jealous u went out with a GM of OG. Some girls want diamonds, I just want fast seating & spaghetti
2) your convo with him was the funniest thing I've read in the last 72 hours. You are my hero
FYI, a @MacaroniGrill ad appeared right after your tweets. That nearly killed me, as I was already laughing uncontrollably.
this thread is pretty lols, you know Olive Garden well?
I have been to that Olive Garden and walked out after 5 mins. The worse restaurant I have ever been to in my life, hands down.
Is there a second date scheduled yet?? I need more of these stories
this thread is incredible.
These are the definitive tweets of 2017
I am trying to imagine your face when he let that slip and I CAN. NOT. Thank you for this wonderful public service
I lost my face. I don't have a face anymore.
So what's heaven like?
this is the best part imo
Can NOT believe og needs bouncers
uve apparently never visited NYC, esp Times Square... and on weekends aft midnight... even McDs has security @JoeWadlington
I avoid midtown when in nyc
This is the best thread.
Why are you insulting Americans for?
You might enjoy this comic. Less dramatic, similar Olive Gardeniness.
this thread has me DEAD. #RIP
You're doing me so good. These are all the pertinent questions.
All of Italy is crying right now.
I love this answer.
Two of these dishes are not Italian & I’m willing the bet the execution of the 3rd means none of them are.
Greatness!! 👀😂😱
it's the last line that really does it.
i've eaten at this olive garden and it's huge and wonderful
This thread is AMAZING. When I worked in NYC, I'd go at lunch sometimes for unlimited soup/stix/salad. Never had to wait. Beautiful thing.
Booking a trip now to experience this place in person
That there are people who go to New York and wait 2 hours to eat at Olive Garden. Should be thankful, I guess. Keeps them out of my hair.
Holy shit, who is going to Olive Garden at 2am?!?
You're kidding, right? Waiting 2 hours to eat at an Olive Garden???
this is the only acceptable tweetstorm in the history of twitter dot com
A thousand reasons to not go to OG when in NYC but this seems to be the most obvious.
Coincidental that O.G. stands for Olive Garden AND Original Gangster? This is the best thing I've ever seen - never change, Joe.
Hey..we take breadsticks quite seriously in this neck of the woods...!
I'm so sorry about the puertoricans, I truly am. Please let them know I apologize on behalf of their rude asses. 😩
...Who visits NYC to then eat at Olive Garden?
People from the Midwest.
Same people who go to TGIFridays apparently. Check the reviews on yelp, they're horrible.
You weren't kidding. Holy shit. My favorite are the "This isn't like the Fridays back home!" Ffff
As a person who lived next door to this place for years, many, many tourist who are afraid of restaurants they don't know.
Tourism: The best way to see new things is to certainly not go see new things.
Specially when you have placed like carmines right by it!
No, the Olive Garden in Ohio just tends to remove the best items from the menu and burn the rest before bringing it to the table 😡
Subscribing to this thread
Spent 6 years working for an Olive Garden. We ran out of bread one time & that is easily the worst shift I have ever worked in a restaurant
That gif is everything I've ever wanted
Did you ask when they would start serving cranberry sauce?
Hero. A grateful internet thanks you
Was he at all interested in your experiences as a Long Island Bar and Bat Mitzvah magician?
You have been praying to the right gods.
Thank you for this public service.
this thread is glorious
this Olive Garden is always on my NYC itinerary
Can you imagine? Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, MOMA and OLIVE GARDEN!
seriously the whole @Eater team is like 👀👀👀
but do ya really wanna be family, joe, the commercials make it sound like there is no other choice...
would have had the same reaction... "I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS" :D
Used to be? That's too bad. Definitely keeper if he still was just so he could bring home breadsticks every night.
Has he met Kymmi Schmidt?
Classic case of burying the lede.
you get a hospitaliano ending?
Oh, I hope you asked about that Olive Garden culinary academy thingy in Italy
please tell me you had a whole section of the evening devoted to discussing the NYE celebration they throw thats like $500 a seat.
All twitter should be this
I assume your account will be devoted to tidbits from this date from now on?
I need you to read this thread @wynnaababy
If you go to NYC and eat at olive garden just give up
I think you're going to want to read this thread...
"Breadsticks and Knife Fights" is my new band name.
One of my firat jobs was opening the first olive garden in Ohio. Fairlawn in fact. I was head bus girl and even worked VIP parties!
He can take a lot of crap.
Do real Italian tourists eat there?
This is the best thing ever
Who goes to Times Square to eat at the Olive Garden? No offense to Olive Garden.
people who find NYC frightening. same people who go to McDonald's in France.
I will admit that my first meal in Glasgow was Mcdonalds. But damn I was jet lagged and didn't want to think about food.
jet lag can be a bear.
It was my first international flight and I was young (21) so OMG I was not prepared.
my dd (20) crosses the Atlantic regularly (school) & is walloped every time.
To be fair, that's the only place you can get a Royale With Cheese.
I'd do that. Just to order a Royale with Cheese.
Also the only place we could get a full cup of ice. 😂
I mean. Who goes to Times Square to eat??
People who visit NY and are hungry? 😎
In which case..... Olive Garden!!!
But there's other restaurants all around the area!
All of this just means we're not get married
you gotta go on a second date
Where they treat you like family. As though that's a selling point.
Preach, my sister.
I'm so happy right now
RIP 6th Ave and W 22nd OG. Your dank breadsticks are forever in our hearts.
what 6th ave 22nd is gone?!
Also why is this tweet not pinned to your profile. Da fuk
Dude that's so gay
"Did he give them breadsticks?" So. Much. Awesome.
You are a god - thank you! (American expat here, haven't been to an Olive Garden since 1996, but loving this!)
Made my Wednesday! I absolutely understand how running out of breadsticks would be worse than a knife fight.
Dream. Can he make you the salad?
I don't know you but I needed this today so thank you for sharing
I hope you got unlimited breadsticks, at least.
My husband is a restaurant manager and he so relates to this thread.
This guy is great! I hope someday he is into doing a video Q&A or something, he deserves credit for his stories :)
(PS: I hope for your sake that he was also rad enough to get to a second date with you!)
This makes me want to go!
Smug, I get a like from you and then see Joe (also from Morristown, TN) get RT'd. It's been an insane day.
Go Vols! (Did I do that right?)
(No comment)
Joe, you're Tweet thread is on 🔥!
I made out with a CURRENT host at the Times Square OG so you're doing way better than me. I laughed so hard it ended right then and there.
the OG was where I went on my first date!
Keeper bread sticks for life
who knew when we had breakfast this am and you were gonna write an article about smells & memory that BREADSTICKS might be invoked not me
My son knew daughter of guy whose company ONLY made breadsticks for OG. Gorgeous home, nice cars. Tells his dates, "I'm a business owner."
Are you referring to the Olive Garden whore house in Nevada ?
Rarely has an Italian chef finger kiss gesture been more warranted. 🍝😙👌
read this thread. Start here. All the yes.
imagine not shouting this all the time
I just want you to know I've read this thread 3 times, plus as a nitenite story (for myself). K, I'm a little weird.
This is your finest thread EVER
you're going to want to read this.
I went on a date last night and the guy meekly shared that he used to be THE GENERAL MANAGER FOR THE TIMES SQUARE OLIVE GARDEN.
I would've married that guy too. I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT
Joe, I'm writing this up for the parenting website Scary Mommy if you care to comment or give me any other info!
what would you like to know?
care to follow so we can DM? :) just a question or two!
was he chain smoking Marlboros and staring off in the distance as he answered? I feel like he had to have been.